This site is spooky.

@ernie_lynch – Member

“FFS ……… all I seem to get are perverts “

You must be talking to someone here then 😉

Turkish Perv…

Stranger: hi there
Stranger: asl?
You: Do you singletrack
You: I have ADSL
Stranger: yeah always
Stranger: I have tooo
You: Where do you ride ?
Stranger: around here
Stranger: u?
You: Here and there…mainly UK#
Stranger: asl?
You: 19 F UK
Stranger: 22 m turkey
Stranger: have u ever been to turkey?
You: No. Friends have a place in Bodrum
Stranger: reaally
Stranger: you should visit too
Stranger: there are many english people in bodrum
You: So do you singletrack?
Stranger: but sure there are alot of different place to be seen
Stranger: msn or yahoo?
You: Whats MSN and Yahoo ?
Stranger: we can continue to talk there
You: What do you look like ?
Stranger: you can see me if u add me to your list
Stranger: we can talk on the cam
Stranger: if you like
You: Are into mountain biking ?
Stranger: sometimes
Stranger: why ?
You: What do you ride. Hartail or Susser ?
Stranger: bianchi
You: Roasie.
You: Roadie
You: Gonna to watch the TDF then
Stranger: doyou like naughty things?
You: Like what?
Stranger: playing on cam?
You: Like football or tennis ?
Stranger: bye

This one slammed the door on me 😐

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: yo
You: do you know about the L A feeling ?
Stranger: never heard of it…
You: Loving Awareness
Stranger: oooh
You: Do you feel it ?
Stranger: Im feeling it… you?
You: Yeah it’s good …..
Stranger: quite
You: There’s not enough love in this world
Stranger: no… there’s way to much hate too
You: Spread a little love ……
You: Jesus loves you …..
Stranger: will do~
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

unless someone has a very low boredom/thrill threshold I just had a long conversation with someone from Russia!

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: hello random ****
You: Is it me you’re looking for?
Stranger: depends on how many inches you can take
You: I can see it in your eyes
Stranger: spit or swallow?
You: I can see it in your smile
Stranger: shut the **** up you stupid emo whore
Stranger: spit or swallow?
You: You’re all I’ve ever wanted
Stranger: dick is all youve ever wanted
You: My arms are open wide
Stranger: your legs are wide open whore
Stranger: i can smell you from here
You: Cos you know just what to say
Stranger: damn straight bitch
Stranger: make me a sammich
You: And you know just what to do
Stranger: kitchen…now
You: And I want to tell you so much, I love you
Stranger: you truely are pathetic
Stranger: kill yourself
You: I long to see the sunlight in your hair
Stranger: im gonna cum in your hair
You: And tell you time and time again, how much I care
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Not a Lionel fan then. Amazed I reached the second verse.

I had a brilliant serious conversation on climate change earlier with a guy in Portugal. Started out being foolish, but he broke me down. We had a very interesting conversation. Then I was just really embarassed for being a pillock first off. Over the embarassment now and back to being a pillock. Go on ASL? me I DARE YOU!!

Ok after messing about on this instead of working…

I found myself conversing with young lady in Europe for 3 hours.

To the point of me offering her love life advice, marketing advice, bichemistry and metabolism, anorexia and career moves and virginity/her Bf.

Swapped emails and twitter websites and she MSM me waving with on her webcam. She’s also hot as hell and I’m working near her country next week even thought I could visit and she it would be fun and asked if I have a GF!

I have a GF. But bloody hell this lady is smoking.

Banned myself from going on there again!

Reading this back-slaps face…get on with your work Zaskar!

What does asl mean then?

age sex location

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: egg
You: cheese
Stranger: egg
You: cheese
Stranger: egg
You: cheese
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I’ve had egg man 8 times now!!

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger:

Dear Lisa,

Its been a long time since we met. How is life treating you? How are the kids I hope everything is working out just fine.
I went to the mountains with George last weekend we had a very nice time.

See you soon!

Regards,

Jane

You: Jane, life has not been kind to me. I am living in a cardboard box on the streets of bogota. I sell my body to eat. I lost everything in the crash of 98. I am glad you had a nice time in the mountains. Lisa
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahaha
You: You laugh at my misfortune? I thought we were friends. By the way, I had George first.
Stranger: i am lol
Stranger: very loud
You: Has a little bit of wee come out?
Stranger: no
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Anyone had the paedophile message yet?

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: why is everyone so filthy round here!
You: no real friends! 🙁
You: ur quiet, i like u
You: erm…..too quiet.
Stranger: rgg?
Stranger: egg*
You: i know
Stranger: holy crap the man knows
Stranger: oh dude
You: sick of it tbh
You: gets everywhere
Stranger: who
Stranger: whoa
Stranger: i dont really want to talk to you anymore…
Stranger: Attention Omegle® user, we have recieved reports that the stranger you are chatting with is a known pedophile (IP address 29.144.182.1).
Please exercise caution when chatting with strangers online and remember to never share personal or sensitive information with anyone online.
Thank you for your time and we hope you continue to enjoy using Omegle®.
You: ooh
You: exciting
Stranger: seriously
You: maybe
Stranger: you touch kids?
You: thought u didnt want to talk to me?
Stranger: grim
You: this aint anonymous really you know, they know where u are!!
You: are you scared, biatch?!!
Stranger: egg
You: i know
Stranger: egg
You: i know
Stranger: egg
You: ur real exciting
You: so glad i came on here.
Stranger: so, been to any playgrounds recently?
You: well i am only 12.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: egg
Stranger: 19
You: 19 eggs?
Stranger: ye
You: That’s going to bung you up
Stranger: where re ufrom
You: UK, you?
Stranger: turkey
You: Turkey eggs? I’ve never had one
Your conversational partner has disconnected

It was all going so well

Stranger: I speak fluid Ostrich
You: cause you have your head in the sand?
Stranger: no
Stranger: cuz i have a pet ostrich named kevin
Stranger: and he taught me
Stranger: jealous??
You: why is he a fluid ostrich you melted him or something?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: I CAN SPEAAK OSTRICH
You: fluentlly
Stranger: CUZ MY PET OSTRICH TAUGHT ME

Stranger: 16 male gay
You: do you singletrack?
You: it involves lycra, mud and rubber 😉
You: and many men often in groups
Stranger: ahhaha
Stranger: no
You: why not? You might like it?
You: When I go I have 6″ in the rear
Stranger: hahahah
Stranger: heheh
Stranger: i think i like it : )
You: I have to control the rebound in the woods or it makes my eyes water
Stranger: mm
You: What rubber for the best traction in the mud?
Stranger: hehehe
Stranger: i dunknwo
You: I often use maxxis, but you need a bit of white grease to get it on
You: what lube do you use?
You: I like finish line, makes everything so loose. No friction.
Stranger: i dunknwo
Stranger: but teach me
Stranger: im avirgin
You: Its better when it’s a bit wet. It gets a conjealed in the dry
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: okaii
Stranger: teach me more
You: often men that go downhill prefer 10-12 inches in the rear
You: and at least 8″ in the front
You: dog walkers look at us funny
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: continueee
Stranger: r u a top
Stranger: though
You: they dont like our tight lycra tops and the speed we ride
Stranger: mm
Stranger: hahahaa
Stranger: im abottom
Stranger: can u **** me
You: what i thought this was about singletracking?
Stranger: hahahah
Stranger: wat is that
Stranger: i du nget it!
You: in the woods with men, mud and lycra
You: riding
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: okaii
You: google it, you’ll like it
Stranger: hahhaha
Stranger: no thanks
You: go on i dare you
You: http://www.singletrackworld.com/
Stranger: haha
Stranger: later okaii
You: no now
You: go on, you can be a new recruit in our fun fun sport
Stranger: HAHAHHA
Stranger: niceee
Stranger: ur good
Stranger: totally fooled me

Come on, who is the I am Legend nut job????

I just got egg man!!

Me too hobo.

Egged just now!

plenty of “egg” and only one normal conversation so far

the ‘egg’ thing is something started by 4chan to try and conquer the site.

i’m starting each chat with ‘singletrack’.

see you there.

USA drafter currently…

Zaskar!

Wacko!

LOL!

Enjoy your ride round Loch!

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: got stw?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

😀

This one went on longer than expected.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi there
Stranger: wat
You: I said hi there
Stranger: wat do u want
You: Information
Stranger: o
You: You wont get it
Stranger: ok
You: By hook or by crook we will
Stranger: aight
You: What is your number? I am number 2
Stranger: 1
You: I am not a number, i’m a free man
Stranger: mee2

You: Do you drive a Lotus 7
Stranger: yeaa
You: I escapd but then some blokes in monkey suits captured me
Stranger: cool
You: Do you want the truth
Stranger: yeap
You: You cant handle the truth
Stranger: ok
Stranger: then y did u ask me
You: Son we live in a world with walls. Those walls need to be protected by men with guns
Stranger: yessir
You: I have a greater reponsibility than you can fathom
Stranger: nice
You: My existence, whilst grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives
Stranger: yea..cool
You: You want me on that wall
Stranger: yea
You: So what do you want?
Stranger: nothing
You: I oughta give you a code red
Stranger: ok?
You: Santiago didnt like gettin a code red
Stranger: i dont care
Stranger: ur point is
You: You cant handle the truth
Stranger: ask me if i care
You: Slack toothed faggot. This stuff will turn you into a sexual tyranosaurus, just like me
Stranger: not my problem…
You: It will be when i get ‘little painless’ outta the bag
Stranger: i dont care if u get painless outta the bag
Stranger: find some friends
Stranger: do u have friends??
Stranger: i dont think so
You: Macs my frined
You: friend
Stranger: b quiet
You: we served in Nam together
Stranger: b quiet please???
You: He didnt have time to bleed
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: m or f?
You: i liked chas better!
You: he was the evil one
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

this is getting annoying!

Try again……

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: bonjour
Stranger: hi
Stranger: o **** french
Stranger: male/female ?
You: non
Stranger: je n’ais pas francais
You: me neither, let’s try english
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This is very frustrating.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: Singletrack?
Stranger: what
You: You? I the woods? Singletrack?
You: In*
Stranger: you male and female
You: Male AND female?
Stranger: you male
You: No both actually
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

So rude, they dont even say goodbye!

Last one

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi there
Stranger: Blue?
You: No i’m fine
Stranger: ok
You: You blue
Stranger: Who’s red?
You: Professor plums a kinda red colour
Stranger: Hmm….
Stranger: If you want me, I’ll be with my boyfriend in the bedroom with a lead pipe
You: Lead pipe you say. You dont wanna be getting that stuck anywhere
Stranger: Like where?
You: In yer trumpet
Stranger: I won’t be putting a clue piece in my trumpet any time soon, it’ll sound awful
You: You could get your boyfirend to blow on it
Stranger: Sounds like a plan 😀
You: so i take it your female
Stranger: Male
You: so how do you have a boyfriend
Stranger: I’m gay 😉
You: wow, a real life gay
Stranger: Yup. 🙂
You: Well i hope lifes good for you
Stranger: It is 😀
You: Me too
Stranger: I don’t get **** 24/7, but I’d say that’s a good thing
You: surely your bum needs a rest
Stranger: Yup, lol
Stranger: Well…. I’ll be off then 🙂

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: who are you?
Stranger: who r u
You: I’m you
Stranger: im u
You: no you’re stranger
Stranger: no u r stranger
You: I hear the seagulls
You: and see dead people
Stranger: gr8 ur a weirdo loser
You: but mainly the seagulls
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

There were some seagulls outside!

Thought I held my own quite well here 😀
Mange tout, Rodney. Mange tout.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: R U french ?
You: mais oui
Stranger: un gars du 15-18 ?
You: non.
You: 20-23
You: et vous?
Stranger: 15-18
Stranger: je devine que vous n’etes pas français
You: Bof! Le sange est dans l’arbre
Stranger: ecrit les paroles de la marseilleise alors
Stranger: Allons enfant de la patrie le jour de gloire est arrivé .
You: do do do do do do do dooooo do do
You: do do do do do
You: do do do dooo
You: 🙂
Stranger: xD
Stranger: c’est sa en plus
You: Ma francais est bon, non?
Stranger: tres bon même
Stranger: bye
You: bye
You: au revoir
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Hang on what’s with all the French all of a sudden? I just had a conversation as a French person too!

i’m getting the hang of it now:

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: heey
Stranger: asl ?
You: 42 – male – interpol peudo division
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

😆

Right i tried a different approach to see what ‘it was all about’ and now i think i know!

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: hi
You: are you feeling ok?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: you?
You: not bad, hips giving me gip!
Stranger: aww
Stranger: you male or female?
You: yer, well when you get to my age
You: female
Stranger: nice 🙂
Stranger: do you have any pictures? 🙂
You: of my hip?
Stranger: of you silly 😛
You: well Eileen took some on our last trip to the beach
Stranger: how old are you, anyway?
You: i’m 84 dear, how old are you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: doo doo doo
Stranger: asl?
You: da da da
You: that’s all I want to say to you
Stranger: it means ?
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Every breath you take
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: Every move you make
Stranger: gimp
You: Every bond you break
Stranger: dumb
You: Every step you take
Stranger: eww
You: Ill be watching you muah ha ha ha hahahhahah
Stranger: im hamzah qasim
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I overdosed last night on it. Dont have any inclination to use it again. My conclusions were

Everyone on it is barking mad
50% of the people on are gay
25% are only after sex (Blokes)
10% are young kids
15% are STW users

I didnt manage to strike up a single sensible conversation even when i tried.

Poor buggers – subjecting them to Sting just isn’t on!