The work Christmas party thread 2014…..

I’ve been in my latest job for just over 3 month now and the new crowd are far from amateur drinkers. I consider myself quite capable of handling my booze, but with this lot its going to get messy.
There’s a massive marquee been put up in Times Suare, Newcastle purely for christmas parties, and I’ll be in there on black eye friday (19th). Can’t get home afterwards as the trains will have stopped and taxis will be too expensive, so I’m staying in my boss’s flat, without my boss. Weird.

I’m leaving the country when our works do is on.

Went last year. Never again.

I start my new job on Monday

So I’ll have to be very well behaved next weds

I’ll pop along to my old work one after the meal too probably

When I first started work they used to take the whole institute out for a posh meal preceded by whiskey tasting at the bosses house
It was carnage, much more civilised these days

All brown suits, kipper ties and Watney’s red barrel ?

Was out till 2pm.

You party animal.

Having been brought up in West Cumbria , I love a good christmas do.

Having witnessed the utter carnage of Black Eye Friday in Whitehaven, you’ve had a good education. Around midnight, it looked like a scene from 28 Days Later. With more vomit.

Bed at 3am, back at work for 9am.

Remember when that used to be a regular, relatively busy day? 🙂

I got back from Ibiza at 2am a couple of months ago and was in a cab on my way to the office by 6am (no holiday days left and figured “working from home” wouldn’t fly given everyone knew where I was). Apparently I wasn’t my usual chirpy self.

Black Eye Friday in Whitehaven

I served my apprenticeship in Whitehaven. 😀 😯

@peterfile –

One of the articles was about that firm’s recent Christmas party where the police had to be called after fighting broke out

Ah, I think I maybe know that firm by reputation at least.. (D) (M) my any chance? 🙂

Used to really enjoy our company Christmas dos in the early days (small startup in Edinburgh) had some crackers, involving stand-up fights with potential investors, latterly food fight in a large canteen, general falling abouts in pubs, nothing major… Latterly it got a bit high brow and co-incided with losing my enthusiasm, also parenthood meant the excesses were out, so given a one night out at Christmas option, I chose to ditch the company dos and went with my MYB mates instead. No regrets.

Now up north, we sometimes get a night out Aberdeen, which is quite fun 🙂

Ours in next Friday.
A reasonably civilised lunch in Waterloo, followed by everyone getting smashed in various bars around London.
3 of the management have rented a penthouse flat for the night in spittalfields.

I’ll be sneaking off home after lunch as not much of a drinker, and don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of the management.

However, if I wasn’t very happily married, i’d be using it as an opportunity to end the evening giving our finance manager something to scream about.

Your unreceipted expenses claims ??

Well……

despite express instructions to not allow me near the cocktails, I was coerced / forced into having cocktails. I just can’t do spirits, so went from coherent to annihilated in about 4 minutes. I managed to stick around long enough for the starters in the curry house but then felt myself turning into not very nice shouty drunk when the mains were taking an age to arrive, so sensibly made my excuses and left.

Went back to the office to collect my bag just in case today needed to be a work from home day, thought I’d make a cup of tea while sorting it out, and then fell asleep. Woke up at 2am, well after the trains had finished, asleep on my office floor. Thankfully decided not to drive home, although it crossed my mind….. but on trying to calculate how long it was since my last drink and whether that had passed through the system enough, i realised I couldn’t remember my name let alone what I’d had to drink and when. So opted to get a taxi back home, which cost a fortune.

Got home and the puppy thought it would be nice to play for a bit. Wife got up and told us both in no uncertain terms it wouldn’t be nice to play for a bit. Oddly, she didn’t want to ‘play’ when we got back into bed either.

Slept like a baby – ie; woke up 3 times in the night needing a drink. And then got the train into work this morning feeling shabby as hell. Ginsters for breakfast, and now sat here feeling distinctly unproductive. Pizza for lunch should sort it.

On the plus side my colleague has just rolled in. He stayed the course including having the Naga lamb curry, which is repeating aggressively on him. He woke up at 3am on his living room floor, still wearing his party hat out of the crackers, and is frankly still drunk.

And we run the company. Lord help us.

Lightweight! 😉

I know my work is having a Christmas do but have no idea when, the nature of my work and the remote area that I live in means that only about 1 in 3 will go. I don’t miss it anyway.

Well, that escalated quickly.

How does one spend £55 in a Wetherspoons and still be breathing this morning?

London office held in a pop up venue

What is this “pop up venue” thing of which you speak? I wonder if it will ever reach the less hip and groovy parts of our land?

There’s a massive marquee been put up in Times Suare, Newcastle

Ahh, yes, I see that it has.

someone in our place rented a sauna for the evening. There’s nothing in the world as weird as bathing in the nude with your colleagues… It’s difficult enough to find something to talk about!

It’s difficult enough to find something to talk about!

‘My, that’s impressive/laughable’?

Ours was last night, average meal in a hotel followed by an epic trip to the local gentlemans club. Got in at 430, in work at 10 this morn.

I’ve felt better…

Was ours last night. Reet fancy hurtel in birmingham. Thought I’d got away lightly by sloping off at 10.30 but couldn’t resist that one last pint in the room. Das Boot was on and I’d drunk about 3/4s of it before nodding off – with the pint in the bed. Did the snorty wake up thing to dicover the pillow, my shirt and jeans and mattress soaked in delicious beer. Pretty sheepish at reception this morning. Delivered a training course at 9. fricking horrendous. ah well 3 hour drive home now.

Still there was a couple of guys who said they got back in 4.30ish – they looked destroyed.

Nice 3 course dinner with the missus colleagues last night

Only going to my teams lunch next week rather than the main do as I would rather stick pins in my eyes.

The big do for me is not work related, me and the lads have our yearly Christmas golf tournament on Saturday (not played since last years) creatively named – Christmas Lunch Invitational Tour – C.L.I.T as far as the trophy is concerned.

Then it’s over the Ashby De La Zouch for a Chinese and stupid amounts of beer and horrible banter.

Argentinian steak restaurant for my UK team this year. Presents and bonus cheques for them all should keep them happy. Then steak and red wine.

Then the week after taking over a restaurant at the top of the highest building in Detroit for my US team. Steak, red wine and bonus cheques for them too (see a pattern here). Should be good too.

Nobody’s tried to hit me at a works do….yet!

In your head I’m sure you think you’re edgy and cool, in reality you’re just disenfranchised loners

I fear that this is me this year. Last year’s party, in Melbourne, ended with seeing in the dawn at a rooftop cocktail & breakfast bar with a great group of mates, after a night dancing (dressed as cowboy, for some reason) at a Northern Soul club. Was fantastic fun. This year’s, at the London office, will be hell. If hell is being surrounded by people you loathe in a try-hard London bar.

I was going to post the photocopier scene from Filth but I forgot just how filthy it is. 😀

Delivered a training course at 9. fricking horrendous. ah well 3 hour drive home now.

😯

Argentinian steak restaurant for my UK team this year. Presents and bonus cheques for them all should keep them happy. Then steak and red wine.

Gaucho?

I worked for a company that had a massive lad culture. Even they kept bonuses to a sober one to one conversation at breakfast. Good to know there are some places where people trust their employees enough to take them on the piss and trust them to openly discuss their bonuses and whatnot!

Remember when that used to be a regular, relatively busy day?

Indeed.

But I do also remember the departmental away days. Being corporate lawyers (or the second hand car salesman of the legal world, as a former colleague put it), we’d enjoy taking over a country house hotel for a couple of days.

A morning of uninspiring talk about how we’re the bestest lawyers evah from people who paid themselves £800k a year followed by an afternoon of crashing hovercraft and the like. Followed by drinks starting at 5 and finishing at 6.

That’s starting at 5pm and finishing at 6am….

A morning of uninspiring talk about how we’re the bestest lawyers evah from people who paid themselves £800k a year followed by an afternoon of crashing hovercraft and the like. Followed by drinks starting at 5 and finishing at 6.

Nobody’s tried to hit me at a works do….yet!

Are they bonus cheques or protection money?

Pole dancong girls an african limboing midgets, thares probably still -ists not covered but its Christmas so no ones counting

( missus broadcastin co HR doo)

Ok, the 50hz humm is getting irritating over the PA, what percentage of stw’ers would notice?