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Post up all correct answers here, but no questions or some argumenalist will only disagree. Only the correct answers mind, no mucking about.
It's my contribution to this place, as I'm concerned the very high volume of traffic through the search function may break it. I'll start.
The bike's not really important, but you need proper mudguards.
Not on first gear until 1972.
Can I borrow it?
Mtfu/rule 5
Are you sure it isn't a sticker?
Your contract is with the retailer.
SOGA
Edit: Skoda. I love mine. A VRS convertible estate.
Just hit it with a copy of Privateer until it goes off in your pocket.
Heated, so I can see behind me in the winter.
Nevermind, your edit makes it irrelevant.
63.2 or, if you really want to push your luck, 15.
Nevermind, your edit makes it irrelevant.
*cries*
Plusgas. Although, are you sure you're turning it the right way?
Only blue Loctite.
You shouldn't, ideally, be hanging off a scaffold pole to undo it.
Not if she knows your wife. Even though you'd like to.
Valves and stickers lined up.
and Bob's your uncle..
Not really, better to bring your wetsuit or roadbike.
baby robin?
A spoon. Obviously.
If there's kids involved see a relate counselor
Weeds in the patio and grass needs cutting
[img] 
[/img]
Jamie delivers
Bigger Hammer
Already done/Welcome to last week
Go for them with Bombers! 😈
650b is the answer.
The occasional McDonalds won't kill you
Snowdon , yes but only after 5pm
Stop at traffic lights
Lights, small but bright
That'll T-Cut out.
Maxis ADvantage 2.25 Maxpro.
2 minutes either side and season well.
Potatoes, sausage, onions and a wheel of reblochon.
Charge Spoon.
Was it faced before it was installed?
Brant'll be along in a bit
Thread closed. I didn't like the subject.
650b is the answer.
... if you want the trails to really come alive.
Brant'll be along in a bit
... if you say his name three times in a thread.
[glupton]I happen to have the opposite opinion to you dontchaknow[/glupton]
[url= http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2824/9563278563_ee13fc9c32.jp g" target="_blank">
[url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/matt_outandabout/9563278563/ ]Pwnd[/url] by [url= http://www.flickr.com/people/matt_outandabout/ ]matt_outandabout[/url], on Flickr
... if you say his name three times in a thread.
He can do it via [url= http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/planet-x-and-emails#post-5303672 ]related pictures[/url] as well.
There's already a thread on this so I'm closing this one.
Paypal gift????
Tears of a Unicorn will sort it
Press 1 for more options
nice helmet hair, matt!
Answers:
Gransfors Bruks
Canestan
27.2mm
Chromebook
What would TJ do?
42
Wee in their shoes
You are [insert famous name for comedic purposes] and claim my £5 voucher
Your garden/lawn/fence/decking/kitchen/carpet needs some attention.
Rubbish finish
Islabikes!
You do know there's a proper tool for that job don't you.
Sticker.
Just like that but different.
They're all all round.
Yes, always - except yours.
If you keep polishing it it will fall off.
Not as much as you hope.
No, you will not die
Buy whatever you want, it's only a friggin domestic appliance/car/watch/dog/pen
Racism.
Allah.
Border terrier.
I [i]think [/i] all headsets come with a crown race but I'm not sure. Maybe we should have a discussion about it, see if we can work it out?
.
No sudocreme doesn't wash off, unless the cat is really compliant and stands very still while you do it.
.
It's French. What do you expect?
.
The Edinburgh Defence.
No, you don't want to listen to music that makes your ears happy. You want to listen to the music that makes my ears happy. And you're some kind of inferior human if you don't.
deadlydarcy - MemberNo, you don't want to listen to music that makes your ears happy. You want to listen to the music that makes my ears happy. And you're some kind of inferior human if you don't.
Damn right sister.
I HATE music snobs, with an anger rare in one so plump.
Yes, I love a bit of The Astronauts, Cornelius Cardew or Root Boy Slim & The Sex Change Band, but give me some ABBA or a nice bit of Soft Cell & I'm happier than a well greased weasel.
That's why boxers have a slit in the middle. Colman Hawkins
I blame Tony Blair
Whatever you said +5 miles/mph
Bit dusty in here. (Grrrrrr)
Not if the goat has sharp teeth.
Do up the laces before you initiate the stream and pray for a single forker.
She is powered by fairy dust 🙄
Yes dear...
Have you had the lowers off.
Have you read the OP.
Conti Verts.
N+1
That comedian makes you laugh? Surely not. You must be mistaken, because she's the least funny thing EVER and I HATE her because my piss boils when I see her. You must NOT be laughing. It must be something else you're mistaking for laughter. I am SO angry that you do not like the comedian that makes ME laugh.
I blame Thatcher.
APF
I call troll.
Tin foil hat time.
[1995] Conti vert Pros, Ritchey, Air sprung apparently, cut grooves in the elastomer, mint sauce[1996]
Whatevs.
You are Fred.
If you believe it makes a worthwhile difference, then it does, even if it makes no actual difference at all
TJ would know!
It comes with a crown race.
Just sell everything buy a Soul and learn how to ride.
Yes you can borrow my keyring.
Their, They're, There
That's a strawman argument
The Israelis did it
Whatever I'm riding/wearing
MTFU.
Yes, there is already another thread about it!
Tubeless.
Crack.
Fatbike.
Guns.
Stan's sealant.
Steel.
No, you'll need a 10 speed shifter/cassette/derailleur as well.
Carbon paste.
Squirt (chain lube).
Dropper seatpost.
Ti.
Wide bars & short stem.
Get a remote for your dropper.
Fugly! 😡
You need a new patio.
Carbon fiber.
Lawn needs mowed/weeded/watered, fence needs painted, etc.
Another bike.
Yes, all wimmenz is batshit crazy! 😀
Beer.
Helmet.
Road tax.
A bell.
Bag it and hang it from a tree branch.
Enduro.
Use a BFH.
Torque wrench.
On One
Planet X
Canyon
There isnt anybody else involved
Rigid
Singlespeed
MTFU
What car advice (sorry)
"You are (insert name here) and I claim my £5.00"
Your valves and logos don't line up
The audio cables are directional, you have them the wrong way round
Whatever whisky you like is rubbish. You should only like this exceedingly rare and obscure whisky that I like. It's just better, OK?
- It's Strava's fault
- I haven't read the whole thread but, <insert previously given answer>
Avids? Throw them in the bin and fit Shimano/Hope.
Try eating something high fat, high protein for breakfast.
That's not funny/ I don't get it. 😐
Yes - everyone dies eventually
Bump for the evening crowd
*goes off to sharpen pitchfork / light torch*
Cheers
Danny B
"Only the finest ground coffee beans hand picked, stroked on the inner thigh of a Columbian virgin, then air dried at a minimum temp of 34.668C, scooped and sorted to within a nats bollock of a hairs thickness, packaged in muslin, vacuumed at 1atmos, hand inscribed using ink from a bull bull beetle s bottom, shipped here using a tuk tuk (peddle powered) and sold only, and exclusively, to that poncy shop in Notting Hill. ....will do, HTH"
What has the race or religion of the coffee bean got to do with the story bikebouy?..
Oh, wait you said muslin... 😉
Cheers
Danny B
SillyTitleTrackWorld
Dibs on (whatever I'm not actually going to buy)
This thread is genius.
Hasn't this been done before?
The STW mock answers thread.
The STW cock answers thread.
The STW block answers thread.....
*yawn*
^^^ not taking the p155!!
- You're better off spending your money on a skills day.
-It doesn't matter that you've already had loads of skills days and now really want a new bike. You need a skills day.
- I haven't read the whole thread but, <insert previously given answer>
> You've gotta have a full facer and 6inch travel minimum to be riding that.
> Easily doable on a fully rigid or cross bike that is.
> you want to try barefoot running for your first 10k.
Groundhog Day .gif
Nathan Fillion "ah" .gif
Picard facepalm .gif
The Simpsons "angry mob" .gif
The Simpsons "homer drooling" .gif
Obvious troll is obvious .gif
Nuke it from orbit .gif
Badger's tubeless .gif
Running dog .gif
Any .gif by Jamie
Any .gif by Mrs Toast
Basically,
[img] 
[/img]
... is the answer.
Innis and gunn
Bose
Preseat the tyre with a tube
Stihl
About half the original RRP minus wear and tear
This, or various options on the theme to suit the original question
"What do you think she would like? As opposed to a bunch of internet strangers..."
The only way to shave is using your great-grandpa's old carving knife, balls deep in a hollowed out woodpile, wearing a tweed hat and Hunter wellington boots.