Style tips for the trails

This could be troll thread of the year

If it is, then that’s quite the sad state of affairs.

bum bags are in this year, espicially neon ones.

likewise neon socks with some sensible footwear is what you need, something like this would suit you down to the ground kukonaya.

If I had to sum the OP up, it would have to be…

Trying too hard – and failing!

[disclaimer]I have never been accused of being cool or trendy – and I’m very glad of this fact[\disclaimer]

bum bags are in this year, especially neon ones

“fanny packs” to all those stateside style gurus

This year the Enduro look is “in.”

So make sure you have a fullface with normal sunglasses or a Openface lid with goggles, bumbag/fannypack, bottle on your bike, slim fit baggy shorts that are slightly too short so you get a nice **** gap betwixt kneepad and short.

You want to have a look at the front of MBUK for some pointers:
massively exagerate your riding position,
gurn like a twonk,
make sure everyone observing you has their head at 45 degrees so you look more ‘EXTREME’.

When discussing your extreme awesomeness in the carpark do it really loud so others can hear you (careful parking in prime locations, or next to other groups of cars as you arrive will make this much easier later on.)

Another one would be don’t actually bother riding (why would you? its clearly not what you’re there for – also you might scratch you bike, or get it dirty). Get to the trail centre, do the usual 60 minutes of visibly adjusting your bike and spraying it with half a dozen special product you buy, so it’s ‘just totally rad’, then ride out on the trail, cut through to the exit, wait a bit, and then sprint out of the exit, skid to a halt by your car and then pant a lot, fiddle with your phone (stopping the strava you weren’t running), and then nod with self satisified show of ‘besting your time’, a small fist pump can be added for good effect here.

Funniest thread I have seen in ages…

What the hell has happened to our biking world when people are more concerned with how they look than how they can ride…

Anybody who wears lycra shorts UNDER baggies is a no-hoper.

Anybody who wears lycra shorts UNDER baggies is a no-hoper.

Really? Dammit, that’s me screwed then. And it was all going so well….

Anybody who wears lycra shorts UNDER baggies is a no-hoper.

Yeah everyone knows you wear lycra shorts OVER baggies.

Anybody who wears lycra shorts UNDER baggies is a no-hoper

You should try a lacy thong, it makes one feel very sexy

I like that someone who made such an awful first impression works in ‘marketing’, and considers themselves to be really clever. Failure to properly research and understand the target demographic, resulting in negative brand association and audience backlash.
Based on this I would not hire you.

I would advise you put “Bill hicks marketing” into youtube though…

Thread of the year potential.

A fashion guru advised me that shell suits are coming into trail fashion. 🙄

What is it with those long ,short socks?

Here you go:

From 1:57 should do it.

from research conducted at 24:12 at the weekend; it seems like colour matching baggies and an AM style jersey is very cool, People rocking this were clearly showing it off for as long as possible with 2 hour lap times. Those in lycra – especially coloured shorts were obviously embarrassed as they were diving into the woods – it must have been to hide their shame that they were going round in 30 mins.

Coolness is like love, if you go looking for it you ain’t never going to find it

Now that’s funny

Bumbags went out of fashion?

Yeah everyone knows you wear lycra shorts OVER baggies.

I wear baggies over my baggies.

You just never know who may be sneaking a glance at your penis.

carbon crocs are the way to go, height of all fashion. If you don’t wear these you might as well pack up and go home.

A kilt with hairy legs is cooler than penguin p**s 🙂

Strange thread, I have never insulted anyone on this thread, yet I am getting insulted left right and center from people that do not even know me 😕

I am not a good mountain biker, I am very unfit, still, and one of slowest riders on trails where I ride.

I still dot get what’s wrong with trying to look good. We all make decisions based on how society will see us when we decide on clothing and accessories.
Are you all to tell me that when you buy clothes you give ZERO thought as to how it might look to others and what it says of you.

Suddenly trying to look good is a sin.

Please continue to insult me if it will make you all feel good about yourselves. 😐

ok thanks we will
if you’re serious, then just wear whatever is comfortable and practical, no-one cares what you’re wearing, just having a good time is the most important thing and it all gets covered in crud anyway.

Hows about just wear what the hell you want. Style is individual if you think you look cool then so be it. After all your clothes will get wrecked anyway so there isn’t really any need to buy the latest gear.

If you fancy wearing a plain t shirt and shorts that’s fine. If you fancy wearing lycra then that’s entirely up to you. Personally I just put stuff on thats comfortable and relatively hard wearing. Graphic Design and IQ has nothing to do with anything.

I’m sorry but you have lined yourself up for all these comments. Hook, line and sinker. Just wear what you want.

kukonaya – where are you from?

If you’re not British (which I kinda got from a brief scan of this thread) you’ve probably realised by now that it’s a very sarcastic culture here, exacerbated by internet forums.

You’ve got to have thick skin to post here.

Good luck.

Listen kukonaya – the truth is posted above, just the last 3 or so….

Just go and ride your bike, wear what you like. We can’t agree on what’s cool, and also the users of this site, well, they’re a diverse bunch….

As for what’s cool right now– I guess the best way to know is to watch the current videos of “Stars” riding, or flick through some mags – perhaps read a few and see which magazine’s style is closest to your own, then pick up some of their Fresh Goods.

But I really wouldn’t bother.

I think the issue here is that for most people it is just about riding bikes, not about looking good. If you were new to the sport and asking on here for riding tips, rather that style (!) tips you would have had a lot more joy.

That said, you do come across as a troll for the fact that you appear to be asking questions that are polar opposite to a lot of people’s point of view, and will almost certainly prompt a (negative) reaction. As such, I’m sure that many (including myself to a degree) won’t believe that you are actually for real.

Hope that helps.

You should have checked this thread out first, you’d have saved yourself some pain 🙂

I’m trying to bring back 70s style by copying what I used to wear myself:

Is that one of those invisible panniers you’re leaning on there, Dez?

Are you all to tell me that when you buy clothes you give ZERO thought as to how it might look to others and what it says of you.

Cheep + fits + robust = buy

I’ve orange, green, yellow, red, lilac, and silver bikes, fecked if I’m going to buy co-ordinating wardrobes for each!

Listen kukonaya – the truth is posted above, just the last 3 or so….

Just go and ride your bike, wear what you like. We can’t agree on what’s cool, and also the users of this site, well, they’re a diverse bunch….

As for what’s cool right now- I guess the best way to know is to watch the current videos of “Stars” riding, or flick through some mags – perhaps read a few and see which magazine’s style is closest to your own, then pick up some of their Fresh Goods.

But I really wouldn’t bother.

thanks!

Full on tour Tan going on there Dez, nice 🙂

Surprised nobody’s pointed a newb at The Rules[/url] – sure there’s some bits about clothing in there.

All made to be broken of course, except 5 & 9. And 12.

Yup – if it fits well, and is cheap, then that’ll do. If a nice colour can be had for no more money then i’ll go for that. If not then i’ll take any colour/design usually.

This probably explains why I think freebee event jerseys are a good thing…

kukonaya – where are you from?

If you’re not British (which I kinda got from a brief scan of this thread) you’ve probably realised by now that it’s a very sarcastic culture here, exacerbated by internet forums.

You’ve got to have thick skin to post here.

Good luck.

Not british 🙂 I ride mostly around Naganohara in Gunma, but I live in Shibukawa. I am 50% Japanese but I did not grow up here, I have been living here for about 3 years now.

thanks!

kukonaya – any pictures of the places/trails you ride? Maybe if you set the scene we’ll dole out the style tips!

Post a pic of what you wear normally, I’m sure someone will love to point out what you can change!