Sexism on STW (a goodbye and some thanks :) )

how do you cope in life outside of STW where simply withdrawing your participation isn’t an option?

+1

What actually happened on my thread last night?

to sum it up – Sue brought up users posting sexisrt comments (but didn’t actually show any examples or anything in any sort of context). I asked her to explain what/why it upset her? Elf wades in being well.. Elf really… thing it, if Sue, Elf, Ernie and Emmz had only taken the time to actually read my posts properly last night they’d have realised that Druidhs quote above was the only point I was making. (TBH it’s a pity it was deleted) Instead, they (the lot Sue’s so quick to thank for “helping”) chose to make up their own (completely wrong) opinions and start slinging insults/accusations. late on someone else waded in with a few sexist insults. = [/thread]
I truely believe you brought this on yourself Sue by bringing up the subject in the first place, but good luck wherever you end up.

I truely believe you brought this on yourself Sue by bringing up the subject in the first place

You’re such a charmer.

I know how you feel Sue, I ride a road bike mostly and get upset by posts on here on a daily basis.

Walking away isn’t the right thing to do, I take a stand against those abusing road riders, you should do the same for women. 😀

For a very male-dominated forum, I think STW is a pretty well-adjusted place most of the time.

I agree, infact, much more so than any sector of “the real world” that happens to be dominated by men, which ironically is what the thread was comparing STW to 🙄

to be fair, “we’re” also overtly fattist, generally intolerant, judgemental, snobbish (occ introverted), elitist, boorish and really only a teeny bit sexist

I didn’t see the thread(s) yesterday but if it was the usual “back doors” crap, surely it’s just socially inadequate, emotionally insecure “bloketalk” isn’t it (trolls aside) ?

I think you should stay, call posters on their future behaviour when it happens and get stuck in (in a non-sexist way of course 😳 )

To be fair to GW, he is right about a lot of that thread being based on straw men arguments.

Thanks GW.

I did wonder what had happened, when I logged on this morning, as there was nothing sexist at all on the thread when I left yesterday.

It makes me mad that this sort of thing happens. To make it worse our community shrinks.

Badly done to all those involved in causing offence!

I see this place as a pub. When I see a table of 16 year olds I don’t sit down and join them I go sit somewhere else. Same goes for here, I keep away from the mindless threads and don’t read the ones that bore me.

I agree and sympathise with Sue’s situation but to be honest I find the “Big Hitters” much more of a problem. Using the same pub analogy its like chatting with your mates only for a couple of no it alls to come join in then take over the coversation before turning it into an argument.

i’m all up for sexism being cracked down on, but it needs to be equal for people to take it seriously i think….

(i hope CG doesnt mind me bringing it up cos it always brings a smile to my face when i read CG’s posts having met her several times in real life… knowing people in real life makes their forum contributions much more interesting personally)

but should CG saying jenson button is fit be just as frowned upon as a bloke saying they find a female celeb attractive? i know i’ve banged on about thinking natalie portman is stunning loadsa times but hopefully i’ve never overstepped the mark into ‘backdoor’ territory like some users.

Phil – you’re beautiful, leave the ….

I agree and sympathise with Sue’s situation but to be honest I find the “Big Hitters” much more of a problem. Using the same pub analogy its like chatting with your mates only for a couple of no it alls to come join in then take over the coversation before turning it into an argument.

Whilst probably the subject for a separate thread this is also very true.

There will always be stupid people. You don’t stop going to the pub because there are a couple of stupid people there, so why cut yourself off from here? Basically, all I’m saying is that the forum represents the real world so it’s hardly suprising that it happens. Unacceptable but expected.

The thing is, if there is an environment that I find to be unwelcoming, intimidating or just unpleasant I will stop going there, so I can completely understand where Sue’s coming from. And it’s hard to say, “Er, do you mind?” when it’s so much easier to walk away from. It’s not an essential service, it’s not ‘real life’, it’s just a forum. Why put up with loads of abusive responses calling you a humourless bull dyke for trying to stop ‘banter’ when you know it’s not going to change anything.

That said, I find STW to actually be one of the best forums I’ve ever been on in that regard – I’ve been on other biking and gaming forums where sexism, racism and homophobia aren’t just tolerated by the moderaters, but they’re joining in with it.

Yes, there’s still a few idiots, but generally the mods are pretty quick off the mark in getting rid of/challenging stuff that steps over the line, and as a result STW is actually one of the more pleasant corners of the internet. Although that might say more about the state of the internet… It’s not perfect, but as least it’s getting there.

but should CG saying jenson button is fit be just as frowned upon as a bloke saying they find a female celeb attractive? i know i’ve banged on about thinking natalie portman is stunning loadsa times but hopefully i’ve never overstepped the mark into ‘backdoor’ territory like some users.

It’s descent from observing that someone is a bit of alright into kicking their backdoors off etc etc etc. Personally I never post up on the subject cos it ALWAYS goes downhill quickly.

If the mods can stiff people for avoiding the swear filter then they can easily clamp down on this kind of childish bollocks.

I suspect that many of the comments are an attempt at humour, but we’ve seen time and time again how difficult it is for people to express themselves accurately and without geninue offence to others.

carbon337 – Member
Bit OTT though aint it?

I dont get all wussy when Orange Five riders are slated – “oh im leaving as this upsets me” or when road riders get called gay.

yeah, but this is the place where certain people fall overthemselves to prove how “new man” they are – then show their true colours when the next bout of “resident grumpy approved” Christian bashing begins and they all pile in……..

I agree and sympathise with Sue’s situation but to be honest I find the “Big Hitters” much more of a problem. Using the same pub analogy its like chatting with your mates only for a couple of no it alls to come join in then take over the coversation before turning it into an argument.

Whilst probably the subject for a separate thread this is also very true.
I was just about to quote, and agree, with this.

Its a friggin internet forum, some people need to get out more..

to sum it up – Sue brought up users posting sexisrt comments (but didn’t actually show any examples or anything in any sort of context). I asked her to explain what/why it upset her? Elf wades in being well.. Elf really… thing it, if Sue, Elf, Ernie and Emmz had only taken the time to actually read my posts properly last night they’d have realised that Druidhs quote above was the only point I was making. (TBH it’s a pity it was deleted) Instead, they (the lot Sue’s so quick to thank for “helping”) chose to make up their own (completely wrong) opinions and start slinging insults/accusations. late on someone else waded in with a few sexist insults. = [/thread]

Didn’t read this thread, but I can imagine it. I can imagine GW aiming at “perceptive and challenging” and hitting “offensive” in the eyes of some readers.

I truely believe you brought this on yourself Sue by bringing up the subject in the first place

I think this cuts to the real root of the OP’s issue. Because of the general demographic on here, combined with the anonymity of the keyboard, this place can feel at times like a rugby clubhouse, a place where it’s safe to share generally unacceptable viewpoints for a bit of a laugh, in a safe environment, inside threads which “shouldn’t be opened if you know you’re going to be offended”

Trouble is, this place is more like a rugby clubhouse open to everyone on the annual fireworks night where the whole village, wives, children grandparents are along for a good time and a good chat and a catch up.

carbon337

~a classic example of the sort of post that people dislike.

I’m leaving this forum for a bit for the same reasons as sue. I don’t really feel like having to point out to some one again why posts with the “go out for a bike ride” thing is just offensive and not funny anymore Some people on here just don’t seem to want to know. I even got told last night it was my fault for playing in the ” mens changing room”

It was mostly fun.

The rugby metaphor was the first that came to mind and it might do the trick, but one of the most opening and welcoming places for all ages and sexes* was Farnham rugby club. Great days.

*’Cept perhaps the annual dinner!

Sue, don’t rise to it, the place can be like a playground, but there are nobs on here just like there are anywhere else. good luck with your London conundrums, stick me on the list for the next visit.

Some people on here just don’t seem to want to know. I even got told last night it was my fault for playing in the ” mens changing room”

No, they don’t but that’s what the mods are for and IME, most people will back you up and more importantly I guess (because other than a select few big hitters, people don’t want to have to be a crusader all the time) they’ll take it on themselves even though it’s not directed at them. I can see that it must get tiresome but really is there any other forum out there that’s better (in that respect) than STW?

sue – you can find some of us on facebook BTW

I dislike anything PC & enjoy offensive jokes in real life but can live with / without it on an Inteweb, but its the also bighitters that need to be stopped ruining every thread they touch IMO.

Jesus Christ – emsz going as well!

Last year everyone was flouncing because moderation was getting too strict and nobody could make a joke about anything anymore.

Is this seasons trend to flounce because the forum it too risqué?

Am I going to have to become whiter than white (like sheets not in terms of race) in order to fit in from now on?

Maybe something is very wrong here if Sue and emsz have decided to leave…

I really enjoy emsz’ contributions to the forum in particular.

Which makes this a sad day.

what an absolute bloomin shame that someone who’s posts I enjoy reading and who has always come across as a lovely well balanced, enthusiastic contributor to the forum has decided to leave ( hopefully for only a very short duration). It doesn’t really matter who started/escalated it/ waded into the fray in an elfin stylee etc.. the fact that one of the more decent ones goes just leaves more space for trolls and tools.

nice one STW we should all feel just a little ashamed about that

is commenting on a women’s attractivness sexist?

edit. I can’t be arsed.

but its the also bighitters that need to be stopped ruining every thread they touch IMO.

the ‘bighitters’ thing has got naff all to do with sexism.

Im still not sure what a bighitter is exactly, is it someone who posts a lot and generally comes out on top because they are more erudite than the rest? Or are they bullies or what?

Maybe something is very wrong here if Sue and emsz have decided to leave…

Maybe people need to stop being so easily offended…

im over it

TandemJeremy – Member
carbon337

~a classic example of the sort of post that people dislike

~a classic example of a self-elected spokesperson laying down the :law:

TandemJeremy
carbon337

~a classic example of the sort of post that people dislike.

Objective achieved

Sorry to see you go Sue. This forum (and sport) needs more women, not less.

Not saying it’s right or acceptable, but having never been on a ‘predominantly women’ forum, does sexism happen the other way on those forums?

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships have fun 😀

I find the “Big Hitters” much more of a problem.

It amuses me that whenever I see someone complain about the “Big Hitters”, it is always some regular poster that many would regard as a “big hitter”.

emsz – Member

I’m leaving this forum for a bit for the same reasons as sue.

Sh*t not you too emsz. This sucks. 🙁

Im still not sure what a bighitter is exactly, is it someone who posts a lot and generally comes out on top because they are more erudite than the rest? Or are they bullies or what?

Good question, since there’s no definition. I think Al 1st used it here; I believe he initially used it as a kind of compliment.
My definition is “anyone whose 4th and subsequent posts on almost any thread immediately get skipped”

oh well run along then, enjoy your break, dont hurry back.

Can we have some more Jessica Ennis threads now that these two have gone?

I think the fact that there are several female posters, who all generally make good contributions to the forum – all either leaving or not coming here much any more due to sexism tells it’s own story.

Is it really such an important ‘free speech’ issue to be able to exercise the right to letch?

+1 to binners last post

I believe he initially used it as a kind of compliment.

A compliment so backhanded, Rafa Nadal would be proud.

Binners – good day to you…. are you going as well?

If so get cracking, your boring me.

[you’re, note the spelling, boring us. Have a couple of days off – Mod]