Woohoo! Scored another ebay bargain, I had been wanting a road bike for some time and finally the stars aligned and I scored a Cannondale CAAD8 ok with cheap group set for not a lot.
Dig out the old Lycra shorts and trendy bike shop shirt and head out on an old loop on my first ride, remembered an old speed camera halfway down a hill and pedalled like a man possessed, road clear ahead and keep hammering (as much as a MAMIL can on his first road ride),
Hit the stripes, look over my shoulder and FLASH!
I wish I could get that picture, even though I’m sure it’ll just look like some fat idiot grinning on his bicycle.
But I was buzzing, “the old man still has it,” I thought as I relax and over take some cars and a van.
Get to the bottom of the hill and some old codger in his MG ZT pulls up next to and says, “You know you set off that camera back there.”
“Yeah man, freakin awesome or what!?” I buzz back.
“Nah, I’m in that photo, I’m going to get done, what’s you name and address”
“You kidding.”
“No, I want your details,”
“Get a life loser!”
I cycle off, he cuts me up I go to other side of road, he cuts me up again, I cycle on pavement and slip round the corner back onto the road, stop at a T-junction, he follows me round and cuts me up in a busy street, I stop, he gets out car and walks toward me I zip back on the pavement in opposite direction he runs back to car does a million point turn and drives after me I turn around and cycle straight past him on the road as he swerves for me again, through the gap (mountain bike skills) into busy rode and off.
Stop at red light he cuts me up again, gets out car, I zip onto pavement again and down the road into a car park.
I wait for him as he pulls in head in opposite direction and now he’s stuck!
But it’s on my route home home, and I’m having more fun on a road bike than I’d ever thought possible so I follow him, he’s on the phone to the police, I give him a nod a zip into traffic, he follows…
Over a railway bridge and onto a field.
He stops, curses and starts yelling “The police are after you, son,”
“Whatever!”
He’s adamant the cops are after me.
As he tries to come after me again I head in opposite direction, he tries to back up as a car pulls up behind him. Hoots.
No where to go and a last, “There after you…”
“Sure they are!” I shout as I shoot into local estate and head off on cycle lanes home.
Buzzing!
Pity I’m not going to able to wear that top out on my road bike again, it is my favourite.
He wasn’t in the box for the photo and even if he was I’d still take up most of the picture, thanks to my massive girth (horizontal stripes on shirt will make me look even bigger).
He was also in a very unique car, MG ZTs are rare, especially in red.
Turns out you can be done for speeding on a bicycle, offence is called CYCLING FURIOUSLY, that’s how I’m going down!!!
Flash.