Serious male medical(-ish) question

Raceface, having not had my balls squeezed in a vice(*) I’m struggling to find empathy.

* – the night is young…..

Is this an amazing nano sculpture post?

Many years ago worked with a part time male stripper, well endowed chap he was but to make the ladies more excitable he would wear an extention piece, a bit like an extra 5 inches with a condom type sleeve to hold it in place, he would then helicopter Percey, one night he went a bit far, Perceys extension flew off hit a lady in the face, knocked hjer glasses off, she jumped up to run out screraming, ran into the door and knocked her self out.

Perhaps that what you could use.

Isn’t the internet brilliant.

That part of the body is spongey and full of blood. In cold conditions vaso-constriction happens where the body shuts down the blood to the extremities so as to keep the core temperature up.

I swim in cold water sometimes, after which I need tweezers to hold it when I’m peeing, and my balls disappear completely, as per the ninjas in a James Bond book . It all returns to normal when I warm up.

(f$%K that 😯 after watching that shaolin video above.

The Kombai tribesmen invert their penises when not in use….

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00ckmdt

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/3634363/Do-you-really-want-to-be-in-our-tribe.html

I’m now more confused than ever.

It is true that the Monk in the video is a true man of steel (or at least his gentleman vegetables are). And as for the Bruce Parry link….. Well I don’t really see my meat n two veg as a sausage roll to be squeezed and tortured,

These are all highly informative items. But WHERE does it go.

Moses – I feel your pain (well I would if they were visible after a cold water swim). But where had they gone?

Globalti – I accept your suggestion that things down there are spongy. But that doesn’t account for them just disappearing.

I dread the day I might see my gentleman on the side of a milk carton as part of a “missing” campaign.

Mmmm….after suggesting some further ‘exercise’ after an early morning cycle my lovely wife simply said “With that teeny little maggot? I doubt it!”

In fact my becomes ingrown.

Globalti is right in that the penis is simply a very large number of blood vessels and, when they are not full, everything will get much smaller. The whole thing is a bit squishy anyway so could easily appear to be a lot less than you are used to sometimes!

The testicles are not even on the outside when you are born. There is a little space for them still inside your groin where they came from and, should curiosity get the better of you, they can be persuaded back in there without too much trouble. It’s what drag queens do to look right on stage…

Rachel

The testicles are not even on the outside when you are born. There is a little space for them still inside your groin where they came from and, should curiosity get the better of you, they can be persuaded back in there without too much trouble. It’s what drag queens do to look right on stage…

I am welling up here(Camply fans eyeballs with right hand).

hey – I’m not suggesting curiosity *should* get the better of you!

Surely no-one arrives home from a ride with a bigger one than when they started?

Try riding along the rumble strip.

I don’t really know quite how I got myself into this mess but a while back I was doing a turbo session in the garage and my fly was undone. Freezing cold out there, and me working fairly hard so sweating like a madman despite having the door open and the fan going. Got off bike, staggered into house for shower, removed shorts and the HORRORZ- nothing had vanished completely, it’d just all been replaced by an exact 1/10 scale model, which was ice cold to the touch and had no sensation whatsoever.

Well not til it started warming up again, then it had a lot of sensation, which was a mix of relief, and whimpering agony.

After a freezing session in the kayaks I was in the car park getting changed when the guy next to me who was shivering and in a hurry whipped off his suit to reveal one of the most enormous trouser snakes I’ve ever seen!

Rachel, yours has come closest to an answer, but sadly not a complete one.

I can understand that the vascular nature of the area my make it prone to shrinkage. But this is more, much more. The button mushroom that is left after a ride seems to have somehow become tortoise like and burrowed within.

A warm shower doesn’t just grow it. There comes a point where it pops back out.

So, something was there, and not just deflated and cold blood vessels. And something popped out.

Where did it pop out from?

The wife really wants to know in case she needs to go digging with a warm tea spoon one day.

I work on the basis that all the below waist blood supply has been diverted to my massive pistoning quads and calves.

In reality; the extra amount of blood diverted by not being used to swell my distinctly weeny friend would barely be enough to power my big toe!

The wife really wants to know in case she needs to go digging with a warm tea spoon one day.

I wouldn’t recommend that. Far better to apply some kind of suction to the area, that’ll fetch it out far faster.

I find a pee on a cold ride is near nigh impossible without a magnifying glass to find the thing. Trying to extract a pink pubic hair over the top of some zipless bibs is a real trial. I understand fully the Op in his distress. Just be grateful. When you get to your 50’s you also find that need to find him more often and in a hurry.

DrRSwank – well, it does but I forgot to mention that the vascular expandy section of your penis (I should have been a doctor, I really should…) is quite a bit bigger than the bit you see on the outside – it goes in and back a fair way. Otherwise, if it was aroused and you knocked it against something, you’d break it off!

Because all of it shrinks in the cold, it pulls back in a bit.

Rachel

I knew it. How much is inside and does anyone mind if I start counting it as part of my stats?

Anyone of us including yourself op could give you an informed answer to your question using the power of google.
But where would the fun be in that.

If you wife really would like to know posting an account of your disappearing todger on an Internet forum is not the way to go about it.

How can you not know all this stuff about your own bodies???

Rachel

Chip my boy, informed answers are so much less interesting than uniformed opinions, hence the thread.

I rarely trust the “truth” of the internet and so decided to ask assembled wise men (and women) on this forum.

So far I’ve learned little more than if you’re a monk you might get kicked in the nuts a lot.

Rachel, we understand our bodies to a certain extent, and we accept that which we do not understand.

My wife, on the other hand, won’t accept my answer of “I don’t know” when asked where it’s gone.

Now if you want to see the opposite problem, you should see someone when they have fractured the shaft whilst erect (not just the old banjo string). The screams!

Memories of an ER in oz…

Yep, all the time when its cold and seems worse when I’ve been Jogging than Riding the Bike.

With that and I’ve also got Phimosis it adds to an interesting post exercise pee……..

I once had a serious case of cock chaffing that left my old chap looking like it belonged to the singing detective.
It would look smooth red and shiny until I got an erection at which point the top layer of epidermis would split and peel much like a *large snake shedding its skin.

* use of the word large may be credited to poetic license and not a true reflection of actual dimensions.

/me suddenly feels unwell…

This wasn’t supposed to be a thread about horror stories of the member….

I just want a simple answer to my wife’s question. Where does the little man hide when it’s cold? He doesn’t just evaporate. He reappears when warm, and not gradually, but with aplomb.

So where has he been – and I’m sure it’s not to London to see the Queen.

Chip, imagining your gentleman as Sir Michael Gambon isn’t helping.

Now if you want to see the opposite problem, you should see someone when they have fractured the shaft whilst erect (not just the old banjo string). The screams!

I know someone who put a serious kink in his erect appendage while dry humping a schoolgirl in a swimming pool.
I hasten to add he was a school boy at the time and had to be taken to his doctor by his mother as a result.

Do not try and google “THAT” image in the Modern Primitives book. I still shudder 20 years on.

With that and I’ve also got Phimosis it adds to an interesting post exercise pee……..

Goddamn you wikipedia 😡

*stops peeling, and puts down banana*

Tie a bit of string around the end of your appendage and secure just below the knee with no slack in the string before you set off.

First couple off miles are interesting but he will be where he’s supposed to be when you get back.

hth 😆

With that and I’ve also got Phimosis it adds to an interesting post exercise pee……..
Goddamn you wikipedia

He just needs to add a French cut, that’ll sort it.

Dry? In a pool?

Poor girl was known as the one who snapped Xs penis for quit a long time.