riding with the ‘other half’

Righto, I have a dilemma – have met this girl who’s really quite nice, rides bikes a bit and we’ve agreed to go riding this weekend. She has the idea that I’m a full on hardcore rider rather than the numpty I actually am, and from what I gather the trails she rides aren’t singletrack per se, but more open type trails.

So, this weekend, do I plan to ride some of the trails I normally do, which can be quite technical, or do I lean towards the more open ones and use the techno (techno techno!) ones to link up rather than hacking at them?

What would you do?

stay at home at rip the back out of her!

Do the easier ones first and build up to more tech stuff. Go at her pace and be reassuring that she’s not holding you up/too slow/too rubbish etc. These seem to be the main concerns of the women I know who are starting out riding and going out with their menfolk the first time.

I would start off pretty easy and just try to judge how good her riding is. I took my girlfriend cycling once and went for a rocky descent 🙂 She crashed only once but I don`t think she enjoyed that too much.

Next time I took her riding again it was in Glentress and did only the blue trail with her and she liked it a lot, not technical, quite fast and nice scenery.

If she is not going to enjoy it then probably will not go out cycling with You again 🙂 I would go for the easier option and some techno (yeah) bits just to spice things up and not make it boring.

After that You should know how good is her riding.

Other problem I found with my girlfriend (but she might be the only one that does that) is that she could not judge the speed to enter a corner properly or ride over some sections, so that is why she came off that one time. So next time, knowing that, I was riding in front of her keeping the speed down so that she could nicely keep up and still enjoy the ride.

She is a lady, treat her nice 😉

Aye, keep it simple. You don’t want to intimidate her! You’ll both still enjoy it because you’ve got each other’s company, and assuming things work out well there’s plenty of time later to be doing more techy stuff 🙂

Just remember that if it works out, riding with the other half threads develop over the years into child seat threads, tag-along threads and Islabike threads…

I should know (and I love it)

Bollocks to the childseat stuff, as and when I’m just going to duck tape the kid to the top tube!

You could wreck a top tube that way – they’re not designed for loads in that direction.

She has the idea that I’m a full on hardcore rider rather than the numpty I actually am

I wonder how that happened ??

Had you thought of getting her to suggest the trails so you can get a feel for what she enjoys, and then start suggesting alternatives that aren’t too much of a step up from that?

Better to start with the easy/dull stuff than scare her off from the start…

go easy: better to have an incident-free ride with a nice chinwag than scaring the bejeesus out of her. Also beware hills! Easy to annoy someone inadvertently by riding beside them chatting away whilst they struggle up hills. My wife rides mountain bikes and likes riding with me for the company rather than the technical riding. (we don’t ride together that much then!)

You can always mention your ‘easy ride’ rationale to her nearer the end of the ride if you are worried you have ‘oversold’ your riding skillz, this might also present you in a more ‘considerate gentleman’ light.

In a Swiss Tony Style “Taking a girl on a trail is like making love to a beautiful woman”

First you must let her know about anything that spring up and surprise her.

Then in your own mind decide if she’d be the type who’d like to lead, if not ask her what she likes, even get her to show you 😆

The, taking it nice and easy at first – but at a pace that she likes – build up throwing on some moves until she’s smiling/happy/exhilarated/begging for more 😯

If it’s done right she’ll come back for more, if not you didn’t follow the Swiss Tony guide to…..

Better to start with the easy/dull stuff than scare her off from the start…

I disagree completely, that would be the best way to put off anyone from bothering 🙁

Don’t forget the flash grenades.

don’t start a conversation about whose bikes would be better for the child seat.

Take her out on the easy ones first.Took mrs skip to Ladybower and hired a bike as she hadn’t been on one for years. She enjoyed it and went and got her own bike. Now shes done Dalby’s red route and even been to Spain with the bikes in the mountains.

Take it easy at first and she’ll thank you for it in the end!!

Don’t suggest you prefer her leading so you can watch her behind

Or do

She might be very competitive as well. So when going up hill she might be dying inside but will not tell You to slow down (just like mine) but if You see her red face and struggling to catch a breath than maybe consider slowing down a bit 😉

Or just let her lead on the up hill bits, she will keep a comfortable pace for her, and You will enjoy the views 😉

pk ripper, you could always roll the bairn up in a karrimat and bungee it to a bob trailer.

If I can be serious for a minute, when I keep a comfortable pace on the climbs, my wife disappears off into the distance at a rate of knots.

She may not have cycled as much as you, but don’t assume that you will be “better” than her, particularly on the bits when fitness and bloodymindedness count higher than technical skills.

I’m enjoying this thread – in a way it kind of mirrors my life.

I threw Pam in at the deep end and took her around Cann Woods in Plymouth for her first ride.. she did get the cyclepath from the car to the start of the downhil track and then she papped herself. I had a bruise on my arm for 2 days but it was worth it to see her face when she was doing a drop off. I’ve not done anything as technical as that with her since just singletrack and cycle paths which she loves doing. if she doesn’t enjoy the other stuff there’s no point doing it as misery guts will just sulk and won’t go out with me again!

I better not catch you dogging on the Surrey Hills this weekend Ant

saying that Dan, I was going to ask if you fancied a car swap for the weekend – being as you have an estate and all. I promise to wipe down any spills.

pk ripper, you could always roll the bairn up in a karrimat and bungee it to a bob trailer.

….
Is that some kind of ‘double-talk’? 😀

IT’s great we’ve got PK’s next decade planned out for him – do we all get invites to the various salient events?

Yep, start of on easier trails and build up to harder faster ones when you’ve had chance to assess her skills.

Go somewhere with a cafe too. Gives you chance for a breather and to chat.
Stay with her as much as possible and take some chocolate, just in case there’s a tumble.

When I first started, I was thrown in at the deep end ( riding in the Peaks). Each to their own.

No. Ok, maybe the dogging, but only if you bring a hottie that likes to play with others

Hope she does not post on this or the game might be a bogey

Indeed, but if so I hope it shows my caring, thoughtful side – I want her to enjoy it.

And if you are, hi, hope you’re having a good day. Oh, and the reference to the duck taping the kid is a lie. Everyone knows I would staple it’s hands together either side of the top tube – far less hassle.

Depends on the lass, really. Some like being challenged and having their boundaries tested. Some really don’t.

She may not have cycled as much as you, but don’t assume that you will be “better” than her, particularly on the bits when fitness and bloodymindedness count higher than technical skills.

indeed…..

You’ll find that she will be keen to impress, won’t hold back and will not really complain and will be happy to drag, or be dragged around the place. Even when she’d rather be sitting at the cafe! Why don’t you ride one of her regular patches?

my ‘other half’ is a pretty decent rider, and fit too. sadly she prefers horse riding, and her ( decent FS ) bike hasn’t spun a wheel since our holiday in morzine a year ago last august. 🙁
it’s a real shame cos she is really quite good, has no problems with fitness ( in fact, because she commutes, is probably a bit fitter than me and my mates ), and recently a few of my mates have managed to secure GFs who are into riding too.
hey ho. her choice of course.

oh yeah. if you want her to enjoy more techy stuff, then build up the difficulty slowly, and try doing the same trails a little – not too much to be boring, but this will hopefully show some progression as she gets to know them, and if you just ride a little ahead of her ( rather than hooning off ), she’ll see that stuff is possible. if you’ve pitched it right she’ll be interested in moving on to other stuff. try not to give any advice yourself, but if you can get her out with a sympathetic mate, this is often the best source of hints to avoid the ‘I KNOW!’ type frustration tantrum.
i think biking is a bit different for ladies, simply because boys tend to go off with their mates and throw themselves off things on bikes from a young age, whereas girls tend to come into MTBing from the ‘offroadie’ side of things.

I agree with most people that easing in is probably a good plan. My husband (boyfriend at the time) was really keen to get me into riding and so I was chucked in at the deep end (Cwmcarn was my first ride!). I couldn’t really cope fitness wise and so basically quit after 4/5 cwmcarn type experiences. (I was very conscious of holding him and his mates up!)

Anyway, I came back to it a few years later – this time cycle fit and on a much better bike and absolutely loved it! Been really into it for about 8 months now. My hubby now thinks he’s created a monster!

So, my advice would be to be patient as it’ll probably pay off! Oh and definitely take food and if poss go where there’s a cafe – I get what we affectionately call ‘the hungry grumps’, this manifests very quickly when riding so regular choccy stops are paramount!

Not sure it’s something I would encourage, that little bit of time apart enjoying your seperate hobbies can be good for a relationship.

IMO the key is being relaxed and patient. I deal with dozens of newbies every year, and it would be VERY boring if I could only take them on tame stuff, but in fact we ride almost anywhere I’d go any other day, just keeping the rides quite short and letting everyone take their own time. So long as the newbies know there’s no shame to getting off, and no hurry to keep up they’re happy, and keep coming back 🙂

Just be open minded and prepared for any eventuality.

She may be a lot worse than she thinks she is, she may totally embarrass you!

Find a route that has bits that you can link up, easy and more technical etc. So once you’ve assessed if she’s any good or not, you can vary it to taste.

It’s the age old question really. Like when a girl says “I can play pool too”, do you let them win or do you play your normal game? Or have you inadvertantly found the women’s county champion and she’s taking the proverbial? 😉

mboy – spot on. And there’s a lass in our office represented England at pool.

Oh and we can usually be bribed with offers of teastops, cake and bike washing you know too, maybe i shouldnt mention this on here though.