Powered by fairy dust. Driven by Jabba the Hut. Every time.

+

= The absolute worst standard of driving you will ever see. I’d get out of the way if I were you. Anything could happen

*awaits flaming for racism*

On a serious note – a mate years ago got done for riding his motorcycle wearing a drag helmet. The opening was like a slit not much bigger than in the photo there. Anyhow, these helmets were banned for road use not because they weren’t tough enough but opening was too small. Modern Simson helmets are also not for road use I think, for the same reasons.

This got me thinking, why is it that the headwear above is allowed when driving?

I’ve just had Two weeks driving in northern Cyprus ,

Driving over there was a little tiring as people do the oddest things, no real rules and all very haphazard,

Highlights included:
Following a woman at 50 along the main coast road who suddenly threw a 3L plastic bottle out the window which shit the bejesus out of the wife and kids,

An old woman holding up about 50 cars as she took around 4 minutes to cross the main road, she really old and hunched, a man got out to help her get on the curb.

1st thing I noticed driving on my return to the UK was the sheer aggressive aspect of driving here, the thing is over there it was ok I didn’t get angry when the woman chucked the bottle and nobody ran the old lady down for daring to cross the road,

I drive 400 miles a week to work and I see a lot of stuff but what I mainly notice is the angry aggressive way in which we think we have the right to destroy all that do not confirm to what we consider to be the correct driving etiquette,

Women in 4×4’s updating their Facebook status

I saw a woman on the M42 on Monday sat in the middle lane (nothing in lane one of course 😆 ) totally oblivious to everything going on around her due to the book she was reading on the steering wheel 😯

Felt like doing the world a favour and just running her off the road into the nearest ditch 😡

Aggression? I overtook a old ST170 this morning. The driver took it really really badly weaving allover my rear.

1st thing I noticed driving on my return to the UK was the sheer aggressive aspect of driving here

Agree..

2 observations lately

2 weeks ago
11pm, diversion off the the M6 thru brum:
its a thursday night my shitty old focus is loaded up to the max, ive got a bike on the back 2 kids and a grumpy wife in the car, wtf would I want to race your poxy done up corsa away from the traffic lights????????????

and last week some guy cut up a cyclist going over the shepherds bush roundabout, cyclist shouted at him to ‘look wher he was going’ end of.
about 2 miles down the road driver has got out of his car pulled over and waiting all puffed up to have a word with the cyclist ?!!?

Zedsdead – Member

On a serious note – a mate years ago got done for riding his motorcycle wearing a drag helmet. The opening was like a slit not much bigger than in the photo there. Anyhow, these helmets were banned for road use not because they weren’t tough enough but opening was too small. Modern Simson helmets are also not for road use I think, for the same reasons.

This got me thinking, why is it that the headwear above is allowed when driving?

It’s not the same thing at all, the niqab sits against the face and is very thin so doesn’t block vision in the same way (or, at least, doesn’t have to- depends on fitting, you could easily have one that moves around or actually gets in the way). A bike helmet’s fairly thick/deep so gives tunnelvision, you’re looking down a hole not out through a slot.

Bloke i know, patched-up biker, coming back from the Bulldog bash on his chopped 750 hardtail bike with his missus on the pad seat on the rear.
On the A1(M) and gets 4 scrotes in a ratty old Corsa trying to race him.
Flicks them the bird and drops a gear and shoots away.
Two minutes later this old Corsa is alongside again, rivets popping and black smoke from the exhaust.
He flips them off again and guns it.
Sure enough, the Corsa claws its way back alongside, rattling like hell and the 4 clowns inside desperate for a race..

Throttle wide open, 140mph then sees sign ahead, end of motorway half a mile…

cue frantic stamping down through the gears, hits the roundabout at 80+, slides the thing round speedway style then pulls onto the hard shoulder where his girlfriend woke up and asked “are we home yet?” 😮

Just back from a holiday in Wales, with one observation:

What is it with Welsh drivers and indicating (or specifically not) on roundabouts? They seem perfectly good drivers the rest of the time (apart from psycho bus drivers, but that’s the narrow mountain roads) but very few indicate on roundabouts.

Should try driving in Western Australia…

Apparently using your indicators is illegal.

Don’t even start me on the free ways, if you thought the mototrways in the UK were bad…
Ozzy freeways are a case of pick any speed you like as long as its less than the speed limit, and pick any lane you want and then sit in that lane without moving across at that fixed speed regardless of traffic conditions. I estimate less than 1 in 500 drivers on the freeway moves left when the adjacent lane (or three) is free.

Range rover sport drivers. Usally trophy wives. Fake, tan on the phone and in the middle of the road.

Id like to add new minis

either estate agents in the company car, drive in the same style they sell houses, by bending the rules as far as possible

or attractive 20something women on their mobiles

either way I give them a wide birth on my commute

Especially those new Minis that are bigger than a Land Rover.

On this prickly issue of middle lane motorists, I do have a solution to cure us of this behaviour 🙂

Some have suggested that it’s a little extreme, however, tough times call for tough measures and we all have to do our bit.

Quite simply, anyone who does not obey the basic rule of the road: “Keep left unless overtaking”, will be flagged down, stopped and told to get out of their vehicle. They will be swiftly beheaded and their head skewered onto a stake which is then planted into the central reservation as a reminder for all other road users.

I believe that by doing this, we shall, within a very reasonable time frame, see traffic flowing much more freely on our motorways and have instilled another layer of fear into the public at large. It might even reduce the reliance of terrorism as an instrument of inducing fear for those in power and thereby saving government’s expenditure by billions.

Win win. Vote for me.

Middle lane drivers are great fun to orbit. See how many times you can pass, pull in, slow down and repeat. Great fun.

My record is 3.5!

I tend to give cars with anything on the rear parcel shelf a wide berth – eg. box of tissues, cushion, panama hat. They tend to be driven by elderly folk who do very random things – pull out without looking properly, driving round corners at 60 and then slowing to 35 on the straight bits etc.

Beside me it’s Audi drivers, new models, old models, doesn’t seem to matter they all drive like t*ts, they seem to have taken over from Beemer drivers.

The same regurgitated Jeremy Clarkson bullshit that regularly pops up. Have you ever heard that people focus on data that supports their prejudices and ignore the data that doesn’t…

Middle lane drivers are great fun to orbit. See how many times you can pass, pull in, slow down and repeat. Great fun.

My record is 3.5!

What a brilliant idea, it appears pulling into the left lane after overtaking MLH (middle lane hogs) has zero effect but this sounds like it has wings. Must try it some time.

My dear late Grandma summed it up for me when I challenged her on this many years ago, she was a huge MLH… “It gives me options” was her answer! Not much I could say to that 😯

MLH is sometimes borne of utter ignorance – from no motorway driving element to the driving test…

I was being driven to a wedding a few years ago by a friend of mine who, in non-driving mode is perfectly intelligent and considerate. Up the M1 in the middle lane all the way c65mph – only putting the car into 5th when she hit 70, so over-revving… To all the cars passing her in the inside lane ‘why are they all so impatient?’

She clearly didn’t have a clue how about the basics of motorway driving… I decided that silence was the better part of valour…

My Granddad gave my Mum some driving advice back in the late 50’s – ‘assume everyone else on the road is an idiot’. Sadly it still clearly holds true today… I’m not sure human beings are psychologically well-enough adjusted to drive… ignorance, aggression, impatience, utter idiocy, lack of empathy, basic manners etc etc all seem to come to the fore when we get inside our metal boxes…

Roll-on fully autonomous self-driving vehicles…

Driving back up the M6 today, largely event-free. Got stuck behind one nobber in the middle lane doing about 60 with nothing in front of them, outside lane nose to nose doing 80+, left lane mostly clear. Rather than undertake I thought, a blip of the lights to wake them up, will clear up the road.

Blipped the lights, nothing. Longer flash, nothing. Another flash, they finally moved over, and I passed at 70 then moved over into the first lane. I said to my OH, “dollars to doughnuts, they’ll pull straight back into the middle lane…” I got as far as “straight” and they’d pulled back out even though I was pretty much the only car in the first lane for miles and going 10mph faster than they were.

Baffles me, it really does.

The same regurgitated Jeremy Clarkson bullshit that regularly pops up. Have you ever heard that people focus on data that supports their prejudices and ignore the data that doesn’t…

I know a lot of traffic officers around here and they say the same, at the moment it’s Audis in 6 moths time it’ll be something else it probably has something to do with car sales at the time it’s not picking on drivers of certain models for a period of time it’ll be BMW’s or Merc’s or Volvos or something else, it’s probably something else elswhere in the country.
I take it from your rant you drive an Audi.

Landrover Defender two definite sub species:

Unadorned = Farmer, Forestry or similarly outdoor employed person
With sand ladder = Blokes in Camo who ain’t in the Army (and never could be)

VW Pasaats tailgate. All of them.

I have to admit, if I approach slow middle lane’rs when I’m in lane 1, I tend to have a quick mirror check for the 5-0 then just undertake. I hope this approach makes them think more than just the other approach of cutting across them from 3 to 1 as is more legal, but it’s probably fruitless.

I may try ‘orbiting’ during a quite time in future though, sounds like a good sport.

I gave up orbiting when once on an otherwise empty motorway, the nucleus reacted by moving from the second lane to the third.

Why not just make overtaking on the inside ok like the rest of the world?

It already is. You’re allowed to pass on the left to overtake slower-moving traffic.

I know a lot of traffic officers around here and they say the same, at the moment it’s Audis in 6 moths time it’ll be something else it probably has something to do with car sales at the time it’s not picking on drivers of certain models.

It is funny that this perception has increased since the aforementioned JC stated that since BMW drivers had migrated to Audi…! I’m not saying that some Audi drivers are not shite – I’ve seen many that are, but in the same proportion as any other make or demographic. I always think cars with a fish on them are driven badly – but it is probably just my ability to self select data to support my bias.

I take it from your rant you drive an Audi

I think my statement was a little short of a rant – but I that’s how you see it… Yes, I drive an Audi, I have owned several over the last 10 years or so. A search on here would reveal that quite quickly. However, I don’t fit some other Audi-related STW stereotypes: –
– No Orange 5
– Preference for ‘natural’ over trail-centres
– I am not an IT professional, although I currently work in an IT function
– Hopefully cycling isn’t my new golf – been mountain biking for 26 years…
– I don’t drive inconsiderately or recklessly

Apologies though grey, I was a bit harsh, earlier. Since a driver rammed my car deliberately in May and said it was my fault as an ‘Audi driver’ – despite witness reports to contrary, I am a little sensitive.

You’re allowed to pass on the left to overtake slower-moving traffic.

That could be misinterpreted! You may pass slower/stationary traffic in an outer lane to keep up with the flow; providing you are already in the inner lane (so no changing lanes in an M62 style) 😀

EDIT: Quite sure you know that, but just to make sure anyone reading & memorising that as a defence is clear!

No law against doing it in other circumstances though.

(and yes, I know)

Blimey you’re right; I never knew that.

Oh, I thought undertaking was only allowed when traffic was queuing, (but wasn’t quite sure how queuing could be measured or defined). Cool.

No need to worry about the middle lane drivers then? (TBH they never bother me regardless) .

No law against driving like an inconsiderate tosser either, especially if you consider yourself a bit of a driving god.

My record was five orbits. Pretty sure they got some sort of message, because they looked damn confused that the same car had overtaken them five times, driver and passenger madly waving with crazy grins.

I overtook a old ST170 this morning. The driver took it really really badly weaving allover my rear.

+1.

The CRV-driving knobjockey in front of me this evening was in the same league. After being overtaken very nicely (even if i do say so myself) on a perfectly straight, completely clear bit of road, her proceeded to hammer it back past me on a dodgy bend, ram his overinflated ego-mobile into the gap between me and the car in front, then test me and the missus to a “how not to…” display of seemingly random braking, cornering like a moron (brake late and ram it over at the last second), and as a special test, a sample of various anti-overtaking tactics including, but not limited to, a) sitting at 30 while there was traffic coming the other way but gassing it up to 60 if the road was clear, and b) sitting at 40, vehicle placed across both lanes on a stretch where there’s a crawler lane of sorts (A660 between Otley and Pool Bank crossroads, for those that know the road).

They seemed to get very vexed when I didn’t play along.

zokes – Member
My record was five orbits. Pretty sure they got some sort of message, because they looked damn confused that the same car had overtaken them five times, driver and passenger madly waving with crazy grins.

Counting like The Count helps if you have other people in the car. “Vun! Vun Orbit! Ah ha ha ha haaaa!”

I tried Orbiting a middle lane hogger and after doing it twice, got a hand signal off the passenger that’s not in the Highway Code.

Sums them up perfectly.

Like the “lady” who was travelling down the dual carriageway in lane 2 with the left indicator on for at least a mile. Despite flashing my lights, this character didn’t respond so, when we got level at some lights, I pointed over and shouted ” indicator ”

I got a response of ” alright, alright, it wasn’t done deliberately ” with that attitude, I pointed out to the “lady ” that if she payed more attention to her driving and put her phone away from her lap perhaps she wouldn’t leave an indicator on.

At this point I will not type the words I was called as I like to remain on STW………

Some people seem to think that Drivng is a seconderey thing they are doing.

Oh, I thought undertaking was only allowed when traffic was queuing, (but wasn’t quite sure how queuing could be measured or defined). Cool.

We had to do a day of driver training at my previous company with some RAC trainers, in the classroom and out on the road for 3 or so hours of actual observation and driving. The instructor told me that off the record, most traffic police would consider the situation like described above, where you are in the inside lane doing a reasonable speed, there’s someone in the middle lane doing 60 (or even better 3 or 4 cars all in a moving queue doing 60) and then a line of cars doing 70+ in the outside lane, it’s safe and reasonable to stay where you are and pass rather than force out into the outer line to overtake and then cut back.

She also said that if they see people undertake, more often then not they’ll follow you / have followed you for a bit and see how you drive based on a longer period rather than one incident. If you’re weaving lanes to keep passing folks on either side based on which is clearest when, then you’re more likely to get pulled rather than where you sit in the inner lane and occasionally pass stuff because it is ‘in a queue’ and ‘moving slower’.

Orbiting sounds fun but probably won’t enamour you. Almost as satisfying is staying in the inner as much as possible and doing your 2 junction stretch of the m25 in peace and getting to the exit at about the same time as the BMW driving taunt who’s been in every lane all at once and thinks he’s a racing driver!

No law against driving like an inconsiderate tosser either, especially if you consider yourself a bit of a driving god.

Well, there’s a few of those; driving without due care and attention, for instance.