Powered by fairy dust. Driven by Jabba the Hut. Every time.

A pair of testicles hanging off the rear tow loop. Complete, utter, classless fuckknuckle within.

I used to ride through Sparkhill in Birmingham on a frequent basis and I have to agree that full Niqab behind the wheel made my blood run cold, especially whn pulling out of a side road. So many close shaves.

I have no problem with people choosing to wear them but they simply shouldn’t be allowed to drive in them, high heel shoes are forbidden, the niqab should be treated no differently, it’s a basic safety issue.

Anyone whose Handwheel turning technique involves just the friction between the underside of one of their wrists and the top of the wheel………….

Any headwear, definitely.

99% of everyone on scooters. By all means try and race me but I can get to France before you can get to 30.

For some reason, LDV Convoys with canoes on the roof are always driven by psychopaths. Maybe that’s a highlands thing.

Oh the niqab- I don’t think it’s the headwear that causes the problem, but yes there does seem to be a correlation between niqab and appalling driving- marvellous combination of hesitant, erratic and blissfully unaware. Maybe there’s loads of good driving that I’ve just not noticed though.

….and what maxtorque?

I love it when people read the OP properly.

Gosh, I feel so lucky, reading your lamentable experiences above! A good number of the drivers round my way have developed great skill and judgement e.g. being able to see round corners whilst driving on the wrong side of the road, judging the distance to my backwheel/handlebars with millimetric precision and the innate skill of being able to gauge the exact distance between the front of my car and the back of the one in front of me as fitting their Saxo piece of shit precisely. I do drive a big target adorned Bavarian taxi though, so naturally I get what I deserve.

I have no problem with people choosing to wear them but they simply shouldn’t be allowed to drive in them, high heel shoes are forbidden, the niqab should be treated no differently, it’s a basic safety issue.

I’ve never tried on a niquab but I have worn a motorcycle helmet. How does the peripheral vision compare? Last few motorcycles I saw also had one less rear view mirror than a micra. (See also vans with no rear window.)

Binners I always blow them kisses or wink.

Two pages and no mention of Range Rovers yet?

I mustn’t tar all of them with the same brush, but there does seem to be a strong correlation between Range Rovers with extra chrome bits, blacked out windows (basically any sort of modification) and dangerously impatient driving.

being able to see round corners whilst driving on the wrong side of the road

Especially this – particularly on narrow, twisty tree-lined country lanes which they seem to think have a minimum speed limit of 60mph.

Nissan Micra +1. Normally leading a procession on the A65 at 35mph. Hat on back shelf, box of tissues, sticky out ears.

Audi drivers of course, particularly the ones who nearly collide with my missus while racing their mates on the road up to Malham.

tigra = accident waiting to happen.

I always notice “Free Enterprise Works” stickers on normally 15 year old Cavaliers/Vectras. Never seen one on a Roller or a Bentley…

sunny weather, particularly on a bank holiday (e.g. yesterday), and total loss of the ability to drive. Either driving everywhere at 35mph for no obvious reason or overtaking one of the aforementioned while heading towards a blind corner on the wrong side of the road.

People driving people carriers, specifically Poxhall Zafira’s drive like utter weapons. Whether it’s because they’re just filled with anger because the Mrs made them buy it, or they’re out to prove something (God knows what), they should be banned. Yes you fat squat skinhead, I’m referring to you

Beemer. Every time

Round here it appears to be anyone in a Mazda RX8. I think they’ve taken the “you need to drive it high up in the rev range” advice to mean “drive it like you stole it”. Particularly the young cockwaffle in the silvery grey one who seems to dedicate his time on the roads to hunting me down (doesn’t matter what car I’m in at the time) and then showing me exactly how cack his driving is.

Anything with “addison lee” on it.
Tossers.

high heel shoes are forbidden

Not actually true, I wear mine all the time.

42 everywhere – honda jazz, nissan micra, Hyundai i10.

Middle lane everywhere – Anything made by Kia, people carriers

generally speaking, the only driving I do is for work, and for that I get blue lights and sirens. When roads are blocked and I need to get through, the smaller, older and more fragile the car, the more likely it is to drive up an 8 inch curb to get out of the way. 4×4’s will never mount a curb or leave the road in any form.

BMW’s, Audis, VW’s and Mercs are very well sound proofed, as they never hear the 120Db sirens until they are right behind them (although I am wondering if this is related to the tannoy being mounted low down on the front bumper, blasting sound at their wheels?

People who thinking pulling to the right of a dual carriage way and stopping when the left lane is clear! NO!
people who think the best thing to do is put their hazard warning lights on and slow to 25mph instead of stopping or puling over. NO!
People who look left, see an ambulance approaching at speed, pull out of junctions and hen pull in to the side of the road. NO!

The correlation is all these people make me cross

And there is nothing wrong with using the heel of your hand for all maneuovers, like mullets and moustaches, it is a sign of unflinching cool and ability. If you can’t do it well, well, then you’re have neither unflinching cool, or ability. Fact.

Nissan Micra – it is a warning to stay away from them
4 X 4 drivers* – it is an admission they cannot drive properly

* not real ones the pretend Chelsea tractor version not landy drivers

Very specific and local to me.

Any of the many imported purple Toyota Previas driven by men in massive wide brimmed hats in the car park at Prestwich Tesco on a Friday before the sun goes down.

They would appear to have an utter disregard for other forms of life. Seriously bad driving in vehicles the size and weight of Winchester Cathedral.

And while I’m at it… Why do the pay-at-pump keypads have those raised symbols on the keys for the visually impaired?

And while I’m at it… Why do the pay-at-pump keypads have those raised symbols on the keys for the visually impaired?

Makes it easier for the guide dogs of course.

The serious answer is that all keypad keys are manufactured that way and it would make no sense to manufacture different ones for places where you can be pretty certain a visually impaired person won’t be using them as it would just add to the cost of manufacture.

how about this
usually on a 1.2 8v saxo/106

also spotted this parked up in an asda – hardly suprising really considering asda’s target audience – and its asda ontop of dowlais.. nuff said 😈

Why do the pay-at-pump keypads have those raised symbols on the keys for the visually impaired?

Lots of coffee shops and restaurants in the USA have no smoking signs on the wall with braille on. I can just imagine seeing some blind bloke coming in and feeling the walls all over the shop:

“Hey Buddy are you ok?”
“Yeah I just want to know if I can smoke”

🙄

also spotted this parked up in an asda – hardly suprising really considering asda’s target audience – and its asda ontop of dowlais.. nuff said

I think using which supermarket you shop in as some kind of measure of class and sophistication is one of the most unbelievably stupid aspects of life in this country.

They are all just big barns that sell food, and stuff. Most of it exactly the same. Some of them then charge you more for it because they spend more on marketing and PR, to lure in the gullible. To swan around with some kind of air of imagined superiority because you pay over the odds for your veg, as its still got mud on it, just marks you out as marketing departments wet dream IMHO

Any of the many imported purple Toyota Previas driven by men in massive wide brimmed hats in the car park at Prestwich Tesco on a Friday before the sun goes down.

Oh vey, I was stopped by a Jewish charity at the doors there and one spoke to me in Hebrew (as if he mistook me for a Orthodox Jew??!).

I frowned and said ‘you’ll get no money, I’m even tighter than you lot’!

😆

+1 for the satnav mounted smack bang in the middle of the windscreen.
And Nissan Micra, Rover 25, Honda Jazz and Toyota Yaris are classic 37mph-everywhere cars.

@binners,

bee in your bonnet because I found your stickered up pride and joy and had a jolly good lol at it?

Curses!!! Rumbled!! 😉

thought so 😛

Oh vey, I was stopped by a Jewish charity at the doors there and one spoke to me in Hebrew (as if he mistook me for a Orthodox Jew??!).

I used to get that every week. I think that the poor lads who do it are on auto pilot. It has stopped now that the Timpson’s portacabin has been dropped where they used to park the Moshiach Mobile Winnebago.

Weirdly a jewish bloke that I know never got asked despite repeated attempts at hovvering near them so that could reply “YES, I AM! GREAT ISN’T IT?” before marching past.

Ah so this thread shows why I get so many idiots pull out in front of me when I’m driving my micra. They think I’m an old biddy.

They soon get a surprise

I frowned and said ‘you’ll get no money, I’m even tighter than you lot’!

TBF, the Jews I slept with for money were very loose. Like waving a toothpick round St. Paul’s.

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People driving people carriers, specifically Poxhall Zafira’s drive like utter weapons. Whether it’s because they’re just filled with anger because the Mrs made them buy it, or they’re out to prove something (God knows what), they should be banned.

This.

Makes me chuckle as they thrash them to try to reclaim some self-respect.

I nearly bought a Zafira GSi 😆 For when you’ve absolutely got to get your 6 kids to 60mph in 7 seconds.

bah.. I have a zafira 2.0 dti.. I drive it very sensibly because I’m nice..
It is quite nippy though

The 42mph everywhere gang.

The Wife has a theory that everyone who drives a Chelsea Tractor is crap driver. Normally short angry men who must demonstrate that he has a V8, loudly. Or the nervous wreck of a trophy wife, with sunglasses perched on the top of her head, who’s protecting her children on the school run by wrapping them in 2 tonnes of steel. Unable to park or manoeuvre it on anything less than 3 lanes of motorway.

Nissan Micras. Nearly got hit by one a couple of weeks ago. I then let the driver get a couple of cars between us as a precaution. I think every panel had a dent in it. Looked like it had been through a mangle.

The car that waits to pull out in front of you at the last moment never achieves the speed limit.

and

The driver trundling along at 40 in a 60 will always get tetchy when you pass them.

[quoteHouns – Member
Ah so this thread shows why I get so many idiots pull out in front of me when I’m driving my micra. They think I’m an old biddy.

They soon get a surprise[/quote]

This! My little m reg goes like a rocket and handles like a… well, ancient hatchback, but it still doesn’t hold people up.

Now, I kind of understand why, but any wagon with a load of stone going uphill is coming over or through me on the bike unless I am lucky and they run the opposing traffic into the verge. I am sure momentum is king but sometimes you maybe just have to back out of it a bit you t#*t!