Powered by fairy dust. Driven by Jabba the Hut. Every time.

Usually a Ka too.

Any other correlation certainties you’ve seen?

Drivers with hats.

They’re always shit. Doesn’t matter what kind of hat, age, gender.

“Babe on board” errrr I think not.
Anyone with cushions and a box of tissues on their parcel shelf…don’t get stuck behind them on any account if you need to be somewhere in the next eight hours or so.

Kia or Honda (not type r) drivers in Galloway who feel the need to slam the brakes on for every corner, crawl round and accelerate up to the next corner. Folk in cars (non-specific) who drive so close to the rear of my car that all I can see in the rear view mirror is the very top of your bonnet, don’t take offence if I squirt water from my water bottle out the window or sunroof onto your windscreen, if you weren’t that close it wouldn’t hit you.

I try to avoid cars that are older than their owners (unless they are classics.)

Even more so if they have an exhaust that looks like they have reversed over a bin.

Avoid those too whose driving position is directly under their rear view mirror and in front of their door mirrors.

And what’s with VW beetle owners (new shape) and a small bunch of plastic flowers on the dash ****!

Any car who’s owner has adorned the headlights with eyelashes almost certainly has not gone to the effort of understanding basic driving principles.

The positioning of the Satnav on the windscreen is always a good indication as to the quality of the driver I find.

The beetle comes with the flowers!

If the beetle comes with the flowers I demand all owners remove them

Old dears in Honda Jazz’s were the bane of my life when I was lorry driving for a living. They would do 40 everywhere and I mean everywhere. 40 in a 60, 40 in a 30 and they might push it to 45 up a motorway. 👿

The positioning of the Satnav on the windscreen is always a good indication as to the quality of the driver I find.

My girlfriends cousin is a fine example of this. She drives a Fiat 500 which is more fashion accessory than car. Anyways the thing is not blessed with he biggest windscreen and she feels fit to stick the satnav slap bang in the middle of it blocking out a good 50% of her vision. You could loose a whole peloton in the blind spot. 😯

Anything that sounds like it should be fast, isn’t. Cf. the Suzuki ‘Swift’.

Actually, the Suzuki Swift is surprisingly err swift….

The ones that annoy me are those that seem to think their position in a line of traffic is some sort of “right” and get uppity when I overtake and pull in in front of them. Usually involves trying to stop me pulling in and then flashing their lights. Usually driving something “mature” like an A4 or a Honda Accord etc…

Rachel

Compared to what?

Whatever happened to Fat Willy’s Surf Shack? Always on an old Escort, with dad, mon and 2.4 kids, attention elsewhere…

+

= The absolute worst standard of driving you will ever see. I’d get out of the way if I were you. Anything could happen

*awaits flaming for racism*

I’m generally chilled about driver behaviour – most of it is men overcompensating for something. What really annoys me, though, is people who don’t say thank you when I let them through a narrow bit or something.

I’ve found there’s a strong inverse relationship between the size of the car and the likelihood of saying thank-you. I’m always pleasantly surprised when SUV drivers do.

Mantastic- there is one such Beetle owner two doors along on my street. Thats the only one i’ve ever seen tbh but she does park right outside my house!

^ – yep, shouldn’t be allowed on the road unless you have a clear line of vision, you can get prosecuted for having a sunstrip on your windscreen so i can’t understand in the eyes of the law why you are allowed to drive with a niqab obscuring your vision, it has nothing to do with an adherence to the islamic faith and has no grounding in the Koran.

Can’t see how the niquab would obscure your vision
It’s not covering her eyes at all, just her face
Am i Missing somert

I once had a narrow escape with a woman turning right onto the main road i was on, she was actually covering her face and head with her scarf as she pulled out!
those niqabs with the built in mesh over the eyes should be illegal.

Am i Missing somert

Yeap – a ‘hing’ on the end of somert.

(Not sure what the ‘r’ is doing, but we’ll glaze over that)

😛

those niqabs with the built in mesh over the eyes should be illegal.

There’s a beggar at the souq in Manama (Bahrain). I would never give her money, despite knowing how older single women can be treated there, because I couldn’t see her face. You could argue that that’s religion/race-ist, but I believe it’s a basic instinct – anything covering the face dehumanises the wearer to others.

The ones that when it’s congested on the motorway, come right up behind you, then veer towards the central reservation and look round as if they are planning to try and squeeze through.
Anyone who hogs the middle lane.
People who think it’s acceptable to join a motorway at 50mph, then speed up to 70 anyway.
People who start slowing down for the motorway exit at the 1 mile marker.

Common sense perhaps? :wink:: .

At the risk of appearing flippant this is just for you…. a Blue Peter moment if you’ll humour me: take an old pillow case and cut a 10 – 15mm rectangle out it, slip it on your head and tell me if it obscures you peripheral vision in any way, move your head to the left and right – does it make a difference?.

My mate is married to a girl from the Yemen (he converted to islam) and when she returns home she refuses to wear the niqab, she’s been attacked both physically and verbally by people she grew up with so she’s recently made the decision not to return to the country as in her words “women/girls are considered second class,worthless”.

colp – none of those are correlations, just irritating road habits.

I pulled into the local Supermarket carpark a few weeks back and noticed a big black 4-Door Bentley parked in a disabled space.
I muttered something under my breath about lazy bast**ds parking in a disabled space and then thought, ‘Oh they might have a disabled kid or something so fair enough’
I parked up and walked over to the shop, when I got to the door I noticed an old boy with a walking stick hanging onto the handrail, his knees were shaking like a shitting dog, and he could hardly walk.

I stopped for a minute to watch where he was heading…

No prizes for guessing which 500bhp monster he was driving home…

, move your head to the left and right – does it make a difference?.

I think niqabs are tight fitting and mov with your head, don’t they?

Anyone, usually in a small car they think is sporty – Fabia vrs etc – that overtakes long lines of traffic and then pushes their way back in before something coming the other way flattens them

Edit – oh, hang on, that’s me…

Rachel

But why is it always a Nissan Micra? I reckon that the prophet (peace be upon him) must definitely have specified that

Drivers with hats.

They’re always shit. Doesn’t matter what kind of hat, age, gender.

Is very true

Also old Toyotas – used to be Carina’s its probably Avensis’ now. Model doesn’t matter but its always a Toyota. Running on its bump stops at the rear as its chronically overloaded. Normally has between 4 and 7 unrestrained children on the back seats too. Avoid

The bloke (its always a bloke) who sits half an inch off your bumper craning his neck too see if he can overtake ALL THE TIME… On my commute home especially it is essentially impossible to overtake unless you have blue flashing lights, 2 miles of traffic moving at around 30 mph which is good enough for me, yet there is very often a plank behind me looking for an overtaking opportunity!

Pook, I know, I was just venting. 🙂

Drivers with hats.

I’ve thought this for a while now actually. You’re usually going to have a hard time with anyone who thinks “I’m about to get into a sealed metal box… better cover up my head” unless they’re The Stig.

Old blokes with flat caps, young Asian women in religious paraphernalia, teenage boys in hoodies and baseball caps, all shining examples of some the worst driving I’ve ever seen outside of a minicab.

‘I’ve ever seen outside of a minicab.’

Sorry but I just misread that as – my minicab.

no one mentioned the dangly smurfs and the inability to corner let alone drift yet 😉

Just a pedantic thought – shouldn’t the title be “…Jabba the Hutt“?

The old Christian fish on the back, 42 MPH everywhere.

The old Christian fish on the back, 42 MPH everywhere.

The effects of the Christian fish are amplified when stuck on the back of an aging Volvo estate aswell..