Porsche Macan

clodhopper

Never mind eh. But maybe you can afford a t-shirt?

You got a million pound Porsche clodhopper? Tell us about your penis size.

“You got a million pound Porsche clodhopper?”

Dunno; haven’t counted this month.

Why are you so interested in my penis size? I’m not…

Clodhopper.

There’s something about the way the name sounds that seems oddly appropriate for the blundering arguments.

😆

clodhopper

Dunno; haven’t counted this month.

Haven’t counted what? Your cars? you might just have a 962 lying about that you’d forgotten about?

clodhopper
Why are you so interested in my penis size? I’m not…

I thought you and your neighbour have categorically proven the correlation between the vehicle you drive and your penis size. Or did I miss something?

clodhopper

A neighbour of ours, who is currently doing up an old LWB Landy w sees Chelsea Tractors as ‘dick enlargements’ for the not so well endowed. A perfect summary, imo.

jimjam – Member
Five pages.

Nearly!

So I take it nobody has any info on specs etc 🙂

No big deal, ordered 21″ wheels to match my penis size ha ha

No big deal, ordered 21″ wheels to match my penis size ha ha

Diameter? 😯

So I take it nobody has any info on specs etc

What do you need to know?

Defo get the panoramic roof and phone kit.

Pan roof not worth the money, on any car.

And shirley a phone kit is standard?

Shifter, how do you know?

Legend, amazingly it’s not!

I have driven many cars in this category and owned high performance two seater sports cars and in my opinion the Macan doesn’t feel like a 4×4, it’s a sports car on steroids. I had read the reviews and didn’t think it would live up to the hype, I was proven wrong when I tested it on country roads/urban/motorway routes only to find it is everything they say it is.

OP agreed entirely (@legend take note). Enjoy it it’s going to be fabulous 🙂 Haters here have to hate

I have owned two Shoguns inc a 3.5 24v V6 and a Rav4 (allegedly “sporty” 😐 ). The Macan is a real Porsche and as beautiful as the old air-cooled 911 is a Macan would beat one round a track no problem IMO, technology has moved on massively. I have little doubt on a track they’d be very little between the Macan S and my Cayman S. On the road zero difference except the Macan being more comfortable.

Phone kit ? I never answer my phone in the car so not needed for me. Tech to play my music through stereo would be more useful. Also never felt the need for a mechanical oil dipstick in 9 years of ownership.

Phone kit ? I never answer my phone in the car so not needed for me.

Because you can’t.

Tech to play my music through stereo would be more useful.

They don’t even have that? 😆

I win I win I win – I had a rusty defender and a real deal 911. And a mahoosive knob as well. I win. Yesssssss

This thread is hilarious! How can people get so worked up about cars? They’re just things after all. Honestly. I’m not massively keen on the big lumpy expensive Porsche thing personally, but everyone with too much disposable income (and I’m including myself TBH) chooses how to spunk it in their own, mostly obscene to varying degrees, way. It’s a really weird argument. Showing off is really important to some people. Let them crack on

Nope NZCol – I win. The only car I have owned was a ford Anglia for a few weeks in the 70s.

Haters here have to hate

FFS it’s “haters gonna hate”. What’s the point of an internet meme if you’re going to make minor variations.

good luck with the purchase op – get a private plate so we know who you are

sorry if this has already been suggested -cba to look through 4 pages worth

“Or did I miss something?”

Yes, yes you did. Quite a lot, actually. I doubt trying to explain this to you would have any significant effect, so I won’t bother.

“Showing off is really important to some people. Let them crack on”

I have no issue with people making fools of themselves in public. I do have a problem with people feeling that it’s ok to drive around in a car that produces far more pollution/uses far more finite resources than is necessary. I do have a problem with people driving around in massive heavy vehicles that pose a far greater risk of harm to other road users (anyone owning a Chelsea Tractor, feel free to let me drive it into you when you’re out on your bike, see how well you come off). Etc.

“Haters here have to hate”

I do find it quite poetic, that you own a vehicle in keeping with your online persona, Jamba. 😆

Tech to play my music through stereo would be more useful.

That’s what the phone [connection] kit does. Basically they enable the head units bluetooth in return for a couple of hundred quid 😕

clodhopper

Yes, yes you did. Quite a lot, actually. I doubt trying to explain this to you would have any significant effect, so I won’t bother.

Aw that’s disappointing, I was hoping to benefit from you and your penis knowledge. I mean I presume you have superior penis knowledge, can’t be sure. But the way you felt the need to state that your neighbour is

currently doing up an old LWB Landy with a view to offroading it round Iceland

means he must be a penis expert. Right? He’s taking the Landrover to the Phallological museum is that it? Perhaps he’s the curator there? Giving a lecture? Or are we to presume that he has a giant penis…and this….somehow….imbues him with innate penis assessing abilities?

It’s not often you come across someone with such a rare talent, such a high powered penis perception.

Maybe he is. Who knows. I’ll ask him next time I see him.

“Aw that’s disappointing”

Never mind. I could buy you a t-shirt if you like, would that help?

clodhopper

Never mind. I could buy you a t-shirt if you like, would that help?

In your expert opinion, how will it effect my penis?

Do they come with sensors that let you know the lane on your left is empty?

I don’t hate them. I do agree with Rusty Spanner’s sentiments on the whole marketing vs engineering thing though. Incidentally they dry sump the petrol versions to get the engine lower to mitigate some of the high centre of gravity. They don’t bother with the diesel though.

Kind of sad that Porsche is selling diesel SUVs that could be shown a clean set of heals by the six year old SEAT on my drive, but they spend some of the profit making things like the 918 so maybe we should be thanking the drivers

I don’t like the fridge magnet look..

Define a ‘clean set of heals’. I’m not convinced a 6 yr old Seat could show a Macan a clean set of heals in the real world on real roads. Those things are wonders of modern engineering and though it is heavier and possibly slower in a straight line, it’ll muller the Seat on the bends as it will have so much more grip, and ultimately grip trumps everything.

I quite like the rear end – it sort of hints at the 928.

Lol. And in other news, my dad’s car is faster than your dad’s car…

wobbliscott – Member

I quite like the rear end – it sort of hints at the 928.

Reminiscent of a Rover 200 from that angle. 😆

That of a 10 year old imprezza estate…

I do have a problem with people feeling that it’s ok to drive around in a car that produces far more pollution/uses far more finite resources than is necessary. I do have a problem with people driving around in massive heavy vehicles that pose a far greater risk of harm to other road users (anyone owning a Chelsea Tractor, feel free to let me drive it into you when you’re out on your bike, see how well you come off). Etc.

Like an old landrover? I hope you told your neighbour.

Does it look more like a Rover 200:-

or a Porsche 928 (albeit a bit of a bloated 928)?:-

Whatever car Porsche make it tends to be the best in it’s class, or pretty much up there. The Macan is a much better SUV than any other competing one, aesthetics aside, so forget it’s a Porsche for a second, it’s just a very good car. It’s beautiful ugly, which is a look I like in cars, unlike the offerings from Audi and BMW which are just grotesque – like a photo finish in a gurning contest, and the VW, as always, commits the ultimate sin of just being plain old boring. To be fair, the F-Pace looks half decent though, but is more expensive than the Macan and won’t be as good. But ultimately there is a special place in hell reserved for SUV’s – utterly pointless cars and completely the product of a questionnaire asked of a bunch of wags preserved in fake tan pumped up with botox and silicone in a shopping precinct in some Cheshire semi-rural town. I’d have a Mondeo estate and a 928 for the weekends instead.

Rover.
though I think I got it’s little brother right

But ultimately there is a special place in hell reserved for SUV’s – utterly pointless cars and completely the product of a questionnaire asked of a bunch of wags preserved in fake tan pumped up with botox and silicone in a shopping precinct in some Cheshire Hampshire semi-rural town.

On the basis that this thread is still going on I googled the god awful Bentley Bentayga that the mum of one of the kids I teach drives who resembles the quote above (with a county tweak). I can’t find a photo online that shows quite how dreadful it looks in real life. It makes the OP’s Macan look pretty reasonable and modestly priced!

Yes but the lights look nothing like a Rover 200’s. It’s all in the shape of the lights. Like on the front, it makes a little face and the 928/Macan looks like a far prettier face with the reg plate below the line of the lights which makes it look more like a conventional face where the mouth is below the eye level. The Rover has the mouth between the eyes – it just looks all wrong and leave a bit fat bumper, like a big double chin, and therefore loses any resemblance to the Macan. And then you’ve got the angle of the rear window, really raked back on the Macan/928, but much more upright on the Rover. They couldn’t be more different if you tried.

Define a ‘clean set of heals’. I’m not convinced a 6 yr old Seat could show a Macan a clean set of heals in the real world on real roads.

As in a diesel Macan wouldn’t see which way it went.

It’s 450kg heavier than a older Leon Cupra and has slightly less power

it’ll muller the Seat on the bends as it will have so much more grip, and ultimately grip trumps everything.

Seriously doubt it, that extra half a tonne has to be turned, braked and accelerated out of every bend. The Macan turbo has almost 400hp to make up for its weight penalty. The diesel has just over 250hp which isn’t going to set the scenery on fire in a car weighing 1900kg.

Plus the guy leasing the Macan is probably quote worried about what the finance company will say if he buries it in a hedge!

richmtb

Seriously doubt it, that extra half a tonne has to be turned, braked and accelerated out of every bend. The Macan turbo has almost 400hp to make up for its weight penalty. The diesel has just over 250hp which isn’t going to set the scenery on fire in a car weighing 1900kg.

Good thing it has nearly 600nm of torque to help with that then. Luckily Porsche have had the foresight to offer faster, more powerful variants should perspective customers be concerned about racing hot hatches.

Do these type of cars ever get driven quickly? Isn’t it just about fast acceleration out of a roundabout and a boot it out of a junction? Rarely do I see a Cayanne “making progress” and I’ve only seen a couple of Mecans around Town where the fastest speeds are gained on the ramp of Canary Wharf…

Good thing it has nearly 600nm of torque to help with that then.

Ahh torque, quoted in Nm natch! The straw that all the diesel drivers clutch 🙂

Do these type of cars ever get driven quickly? Isn’t it just about fast acceleration out of a roundabout and a boot it out of a junction?

No but in moments of anxiety you can quote big sounding numbers to restore your dignity… anyway regardless of what it might look like it doesn’t look good, will have the complete inverse Tardis going on where the inside is inexplicably smaller than the outside and be driven badly and parked in the middle of the road outside schools mostly.