Poorest films you've seen?

The Bodyguard – Witney Houston and Kevin Costner.
I walked out of the cinema.

Note to OP – thanks for writing ‘film’ and not ‘movie’, we are British and live in Britain 🙂

@binners I use a similar reverse scale with anything Mark Kermode likes. I know for a fact, it’s going to be shite.

As for bad films – anything with Tim Robbins in it. I want to get all punchy when his face appears on the screen. There is, however, one exception to this – Shawshank.

The Player got loads of rave reviews (even nominated, I think???) but I had to turn it off.

Boogie Nights is the only film I’ve ever walked out of at the cinema. Pish.

This

Dezb don’t do it , you’d be better watching clingfilm

Talking of Michael Caine, anyone seen Deathtrap?

Christopher Reeve attempting to act without a cape. God, it’s embarrassing.

Weird how tastes vary. I’d say Highlander, Fight Club, and Zoolander are fine enough films. Classics even, in their particular genres, in my opinion.

Do people really think they are worse than:

And as for “any film with Nicolas Cage”. Really?

Wild at Heart, Raising Arizona, The Rock, Con Air, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Kick-Ass, The Croods ?

An ex of mine tried to get me to watch Withnail and I. I lasted about 5 minutes and had to switch it off.

Although I have been known to be wrong. I hated Trainspotting the first time someone tried to make me watch it. Saw it quite recently and loved it.

Amazed nobody has mentioned Pacific Rim.

And as for “any film with Nicolas Cage”. Really?

Wild at Heart, Raising Arizona, The Rock, Con Air, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Kick-Ass, The Croods ?

You do list some decent films but any of them good have been made better by casting someone other than Nicholas Cage.

Amazed nobody has mentioned Pacific Rim.

I suspect that (much like the two trailers I just posted) anyone who went to see that movie got pretty much exactly what they were expecting. 😀

And as for “any film with Nicolas Cage”. Really?

Wild at Heart, Raising Arizona, The Rock, Con Air, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Kick-Ass, The Croods ?

Not to mention City of Angels.

I’d never trust any human being who professed anything but contempt for any Adam Sandler film

You do list some decent films but any of them good have been made better by casting someone other than Nicholas Cage.

Pfft…

besides, look how versatile he is:

http://niccageaseveryone.blogspot.co.uk/

That Wolf of Wall Street was pretty dire, very seldom I click away especially with frequent gratuitous sex involved but it went on way too long.

Die hard the last was pretty crap as well.

Nicolas Cage ruined Con Air an otherwise excellent vehicle for good psycho method actors..

Lone Survivor another disappointment.

That Will Smith thing about forgotten earth or some similar title, avoid it.

Anything with Wesley Snipes in it or that horrendous woman who’s name I cannot bear to even remember, long pointy face something about wives..

I do watch far too much crap.

I saw Pacific Rim on an aeroplane, and probably missed some of the subtlety of the dialogue and the grandeur of the cinematography as a result.

The audacity of it appealed to me though: in the first 3 minutes, you’re told that monsters are erupting out of the Pacific Ocean from another dimension, that this went on for a while until humanity developed massive, punchy robots to fight them, and that this was going pretty sweet until recently. You then have 2 hours of robots punching monsters, culminating in one of the robots jumping into the other dimension and destroying what appears to be a confused alien owl with a nuclear bomb, before somehow parachuting back up into the real world.

Also, I loved The Gray, which is truly, utterly terrible. It was like an interminable, 2 hour strip-tease, which stopped just at the very second that Liam Neeson was about to glass a wolf with a tiny bottle from a minibar.

🙂

that horrendous woman who’s name I cannot bear to even remember, long pointy face something about wives

can you give us the quick clue coz I’m getting nowhere with the cryptic.

Pondo

“Had the same thing with Anchorman.”

I managed to revisit this and almost enjoyed it. First time I’d given up after 15 minutes. I think I had imbibed more the second time.

Wild at Heart, Raising Arizona, The Rock, Con Air, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Kick-Ass, The Croods ?

Red Rock West is such a good film, even Cage can’t ruin it.

Angela’s Ashes. They’re all well poor.

The Constant Gardener. I actually tried to fall asleep in the cinema and failed because I was too angry at how crap the film was.

The Happening 91 minutes waiting for something to happen.

The Happening 91 minutes waiting for something to happen.

That sounds bad until you realise it’s only half of a Meet Joe Black.

Sharknado.

Stiggy – Member

Amazed nobody has mentioned Pacific Rim.

And so it should remain. It’s not high art but it does what it’s supposed to, really really well. And some other things quite badly but even I couldn’t watch 2 hours of nonstop robots punching aliens.

I could though.

Number 1 in that list is:

Highlander.

You’re patently wrong, not merely for the perhaps minor but critical point that Highlander is in fact ace, but because Highlander 2 exists. So even if we give you the benefit of the doubt and agree that Highlander is crap (which it isn’t), you’re still demonstrably wrong.

I have failed to read every post and still declare myself the winner for not only selecting a very poor film (buckaroo Banzai across the 8th dimension) but also the most obscure.

If only they’d made “Buckaroo Banzai Against the World Crime League” and it turned out to be really bad, both of my previous comments about Highlander would apply here too. (-:

Bring it on, so bad I’d have walked out if it had been an in flight movie.

Bring It On is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. This may in part be due to the fact that I’d happily spend 90 minutes watching Eliza Dushku eating crisps.

But with logic, so does highlander 3 and a TV series.

Then a again, at 16 I loved highlander 2!

Romy and Michelle’s High School…. – Embarassingly bad.

Paranormal Activity 5 – I guess I got what I deserved going to see that one but I was accompanying a hot girl so I should be forgiven.

Well, in the highest, time honoured, traditions of the STW forum. I have failed to read every post and still declare myself the winner for not only selecting a very poor film (buckaroo Banzai across the 8th dimension) but also the most obscure.

Nah, not that obscure.
Highlander is great fun, of course, it does require the obligatory suspension of disbelief, but so do all genre films.
Highlander 2, however, is an absolute, monster crock of shite! A complete cluster**** of a movie! there are just so many things that are wrong just in the continuity.

That sounds bad until you realise it’s only half of a Meet Joe Black.

two words
Claire
Forlani

Admittedly it did have lot of brad Pitt doing character no2 (dazed and confused) of his 3 character repertoire, and there was an audiable collective gasp in the cinema when he took his shirt off (tho tbf I LOLed when he got run over), but that still didn’t ruin it.

There Will Be Blood.

Actually you can add any Daniel Day-Lewis film to the list.

Zero dark thirty

Tinker tailor soldier spy – got bored after half hour and switched it off

Any afternoon film on channel 5

The Box has an interesting idea to start with and seems to be going somewhere. Would you press a button in the box for $1,000,000 but a stranger dies? Then is goes bat shit crazy – It involves NASA, the NSA, floating cubes of water, a wedding, kidnap, aliens, Sophie’s choice, possible extermination of the human race. And finishes like this –

This was on TV last night – I stayed up and watched it but it was truly awful.

I’d also like to add “Frozen” not the Disney film but a 2010 horror film. Basically take the Open Water plot but put the people on a stuck chairlift overnight. Replace the Sharks with Wolves and voila a rubbish film. The film was that bad that I thought I had dreamt it!

Those nominating Highlander and Highlander II have obviously not had the misfortune of encountering, as I sadly have, the appallingness that is Highlander III.

Knight Moves. Christopher Lambert was in that, and it was rubbish.

Without a Paddle. Shindler’s List is funnier!

The Tree of Life – turgid, content-free shite of the very highest order.

Natural Born Killers, I walked out and went to the pub
Harlem Nights, same there as well
There’s a number of others but I’d have to look them up and I don’t want to be reminded of them

Remake of Clash of the Titans: Terrible terrible film.

two words
Claire
Forlani

You are clearly a man of extremely good taste. What a beautiful woman.

Anyway. Rubbish films. The big lebrowski. Pants. Not good in anyway whatsoever.

Red 2 – garbage
I am legend – garbage
Never made it through Pulp Fiction yet either. Either fall asleep or turn it off.
Tokyo Zombie is probably the worst film I’ve seen though.
Some Z movies have redeeming features but thats just plain crap!