Phrases/terms that elevate the temperature of your urine.

For those who work in IT, every word used in Agile. Not sure why it annoys me so much but it does

“Top of the hour” unless it’s been said by Jessica Spunkmeyer on CNBCBNSDC

Any British broadcaster that says it should be sent to read the local news in North Dakota.

“Gifting”. Where’s that come from, as if I couldn’t guess? Last week I saw a box of biscuits in a shop described as a “gifting pack”.

Another one is “inbox me”, no f&^% off – I will not.

Or people who pronounce “th” as “f”. Anyfing, or Efan

“lay an egg on it”…. WTF does it even mean???

manvstarmac – Member
“Your call is important to us”

Ohh, this phrase irritates me no end. Coined by some CRM manager in deepest Tyneside on a day when it had been raining constantly for the previous 16 1/2. Thought of as a joke initially, then the person forgot to press 3 to re-record it then forgot, then went out on the Tarn for a few bevvies.
Industry standard created right there.

“Bevvies” – no, no the term you seek is Beer.
“Cold ones” (as in down a couple of) – cold what? poo? wee? cups of drain water?
“The train on platform…” – possibly one of the most depressing introductions to a sentence that brings up hackles on the back of my neck. The rest of the sentence could be good news, but invariably it isn’t.

Reach out I’m happy with, when you don’t know someone or intend to find out a link or contact you do indeed “reach out”.

Thankfully, in my part of Shiny Town, all the silly management speak some of you lot spout out that annoys you isn’t spoken “round these parts”. I think you must work/interact with/for some above their station companies who quite possibly need their wings clipped.

Oh, and I cant stand being called ‘mate’ by someone I don’t know.

Mate I can cope with, it’s matey that winds me up. I’m not a pirate or a bottle of bubble bath thanks.

Fella

Natch, ace and many of the other annoying words people only seem to use when posting on STW. I never hear them in real life.

The misuse of reflexive pronouns, usually by salespeople. “Please do not hesitate to call myself”. No, it’s “me”.

Arks. As in, “Can I just arks yourself a question?”

Kill. Kill. Kill.

My Mrs says imminent when she means eminent. I’m going to tell her one of these days, she’ll enjoy that.

Yeah my mrs loves me correcting her, 🙄 nowadays I have an excuse, she’s going to uni so needs to brush up on her reedin and rightin skillz, innit.

Coincidentally we had the expresso discussion last night. “is that like really fast coffee?”

monkeysfeet – Member

I have several Cumbrian friends who say “Crack/Craick” lots…

I say “grand” a lot and I get really selfconscious about it when talking to irish people, like they’re going to accuse me of racism. Or put a bomb under my car.

See irish people, that’s what anti-irishness looks like! Not just innocently saying “grand”.

“Crack/Craick”

It’s “craic” I believe.

lodious – Member

The overuse of the word ‘narrative’ by anybody from southern England when interviewed on radio 4.

Ah, yes. We need to have a conversation about narrative.

“The traffic is coping well …….” on the radio traffic news

The one I’m finding most annoying at the moment is “going forward,” largely because I’ve started saying it myself. It’s a ridiculous phrase; what else are we going to do, change the past?

Gifted.

i.e. for e.g.

Epicentre, when nothing is happening underground.

Grammar Nazi.

“scotrail* apologises for any inconvenience caused” by the fact that despite doing this every day for about 200 years we still can’t get the fn train to it’s destination on time

This has become meaningless trite even worse on Twitter.

*insert transport provider of your choosing

Overheard the other day,

“So he turned around and said… so I turned around and said… so then she turned around and said…” I had a mental image of a group of people having a conversation whilst spinning on the spot. Maybe they were all on those little exercise turntable things.

Was it at the Dervish Convention by any chance?

Cougar – Moderator

The one I’m finding most annoying at the moment is “going forward,” largely because I’ve started saying it myself.

Aaargh. My old boss used it as code for “I will now ignore everything you just said”. ie, why did this process fail? We’d spend an hour talking about it, figure out the issues then she’d say “going forward” and we’d do the exact same thing again.

Probably on here already but never mind

This plus a zillion. What it actually means is “**** you and your expectations”.

“future planning”

As opposed to what? Perhaps I should relax a bit about unnecessary words. When I’m dead.

‘Sound as a pound’

‘Aww MINT, mint…’

‘Aaww LAD, laaad’

In fact most trending ‘blokey-lad-mate’ phrases tend to irritate.

“Banter”.

See also “bants”, “bantz”.

It’s a bit like “conversation” only for complete and utter morons.

Wild swimming

Or, as we used to call it, swimming.

Journey

FFS. Unless you actually are going overland to Indo China.

In fact most trending ‘blokey-lad-mate’ phrases tend to irritate.

Most blokey “lads” irritate, to be fair. Seems to be an excuse for misogynistic comments and generally being a monumental self-important bellend at complete strangers.

Oh and when did every man and his dog start “curating”?

Misuse of the word hero.

A selfless act of courage, not to be confused with making it into work in the rain.

Putting “ists” on the end of words where it doesn’t belong e.g dog walkerists.
Being called Bud by people I don’t know.

Being called Bud by people I don’t know

Are you a Paisley-ist, Bud?

http://www.paisley.org.uk/2008/09/what-is-a-paisley-buddy/%5B/url%5D

Epicentre, when nothing is happening underground.

OK, this and decimate…Hold onto your hats grammar nazis, it’s perfectly OK for words that have a specific scientific meaning to be used for something else when used in normal conversation, every-one knows what epicentre can refer to, and it in no way reduces or changes the meaning of the word in science…

Chill.

Edit, actually, if you self-redact that much on a language as malleable as English so that when it comes to narrowly defined words such as epicentre…You have my sympathy, the plays of Shakespeare (and indeed most literature) must be lost to you.

The train ones have reminded me: “We are now arriving into…”
This just sounds all wrong.

It is wrong, unless it’s a posh bloke talking dirty to his missus.

“Roadmap”

Unless referring to a map with roads on it.

Momentarily, used to mean soon, when it means for a very short time.

“We will be landing momentarily “

No we won’t, you ignoramus, we will be staying on the ground for at least long enough to get everyone off, refuel, and get the next lot on board.

momentarily
?m??m(?)nt(?)r?li,?m??m(?)n?t?r?li/Submit
adverb
1.
for a very short time.
“as he passed Jenny’s door, he paused momentarily”
synonyms: briefly, temporarily, fleetingly, for a moment, for a second, for an instant, for a minute, for a little while
“as he passed her door, he paused momentarily”
2.
NORTH AMERICAN
at any moment; very soon.
“my husband will be here to pick me up momentarily”
synonyms: (very) soon, in a minute, in a second, in a trice, in a flash, shortly, any minute, any minute now, in a short time, in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye, in (less than) no time, in no time at all, before you know it, before long.

Momentarily, used to mean soon, when it means for a very short time.

Isn’t that another Americanism? Ie, it means different things either side of the pond Atlantic.

EDIT – what he said.

the term ‘glass’ that amateur photographers tend to use instead of calling a lens a lens. guess it’s an americanism but wherever it comes from it BMP.
not a fan of bokeh either but it’s a real word with a Japanese origin so i tolerate it. we managed without it for a long time and now it has caused an obsession with bokeh instead of just making images.
“hey look at my lovely bokeh this sweet new piece of glass renders so well”

your cat pic BMP.