New Transformers film

The thing that killed it completely for me was the graphics/fx- how do you make a film that’s entirely about big robots punching each other, then make the bits with the big robots punching each other suck?

Yeah, but you have to admit, the “transformation” bit is good – even the noise they make when transforming?
You should see what they’ve done in the new one. It’s shit.

Michael Bay does seem to be about the worst thing to happen to cinema in 30 odd years… Appaently he’s worth something like $400m So I think he’s reached that horrible sort of financial critical mass where whatever franchise he decides to append his name to is guarunteed to make a cagillion dollars and hence it gets made…

OK it is “mainstream cinema” and not really intended for thinkers, but then compare him to Tony Scott who was a much better “Low brow” Action Film maker that Michale Bay could ever be…

Bay’s films are far too reliant on CGI, the fact that he can actually bore audiences with action sequences is quite a feat (not an impressive one), there’s no subtlty, seldom much effort at wit or a plot. Bay simply plays on a mix of key imagery to appeal to 12 year old boys and a large chunk of meat-head, middleaged, male Americans… That how you gross the millions.

The Transformers Franchise is knackered, He’s seen to that, TMNT will probably fare about the same, I dread to think what He’ll get his hands on next, seeing as he likes plundering the 80s I reckon the holders of the rights to Knight Rider, Thundercats or He-Man had better watch out, $400m in the bank means he gets his way a bit too often…

Not seen the latest one – I’m a bit of a Transformers nerd (DON’T JUDGE ME!), and I find the Michael Bay films a bit gutting. Too much focus on the humans (which you might get away with if any of the humans were remotely likeable), which means that the Transformers barely get any characterisation. Plus the Decepticons all look the bloody same, spikey and silver, like walking Black Metal logos. The Jaegers from Pacific Rim looked more like Transformers than Bay Transformers!

Plus there was no Stan Bush ‘The Touch’ or Lion in any of them. Pffft!

Oh, and the product placement, even more jarring than in the latest Bond films…

Oh, and the product placement, even more jarring than in the latest Bond films…

Surely it couldn’t be that bad??? 😯

Oh, and the product placement, even more jarring than in the latest Bond films…

If you haven’t already seen them I’d recommend that you have a look at the “honest trailer” for these films.

Edit mogrim, it’s much, much worse!

Surely it couldn’t be that bad???

It’s more blatant. Although I guess you could argue it’s not as bad, given that you’d probably expect a certain degree of tackiness from films a) from Michael Bay, and b) based around a franchise designed to sell toys…

Mrs Toast – Member

The Jaegers from Pacific Rim looked more like Transformers than Bay Transformers!

I think that’s the robot-that-transforms-into-an-elephant in the room isn’t it… Everything about the Transformers robots just fails, they’ve got no weight or physical presence, they move like they’re made of graphics. That’s when you can tell what they’re doing, at least. Whereas Pacific Rim’s jaegers had that solidity and impact

Pacific Rim was still a long, drawn out, boring film though.

Jamie – Freeloader! But we still like him

Conversely, I finally got round to watching Raid 2 last night. Plot was stupid, length was about 45 mins too long, but dear god the action….the action

Brilliant film, I thought the pacing and length were perfect. Whenever I started fidgeting all of a sudden there was another 15 mins of ridiculous fighting. Knife fight in the kitchen probably my favourite fight scene of all time.

It’s by Michael Bay, of course its shite.

Factually incorrect:

Oh, and the product placement, even more jarring than in the latest Bond films…

Surely it couldn’t be that bad???

It is. Cringeworthy to say the least.

Edit mogrim, it’s much, much worse!

It’s more blatant.

It is. Cringeworthy to say the least.

Given that level of agreement on STW it must be true!

I almost want to see the film now, just to see how it could be worse than the Heineken, Sony and Ford on show in Skyfall…

(Actually quite like the first Transformers film, so it’s not impossible…)

(Actually quite like the first Transformers film, so it’s not impossible..)

Me too! If only for the line: “Sun so bright hurts my eyes”

Brilliant film, I thought the pacing and length were perfect. Whenever I started fidgeting all of a sudden there was another 15 mins of ridiculous fighting. Knife fight in the kitchen probably my favourite fight scene of all time.

Ok, maybe 45 minutes was pushing it. I watched it straight after re-watching Raid 1, so in comparison to that it felt less tight/punchy.

Anyway. You have dishonoured me by making me rectify my post.

Expect a visit from the hairy man….

Mrs Toast – Member

Oh, and the product placement, even more jarring than in the latest Bond films…

I liked the last Batman for this, Bane and his crew using… what the! Discontinued Dell netbooks. Nobody uses netbooks any more! You could almost hear the product placement dudes screaming, they’d have paid a fortune to have them all on ipads. But Bane goes “No man, netbooks have proper keyboards, and decent sized drives. And look, you can rotate the screen on this one! Mega!”

From Vox:

Transformers 4 is a masterclass in economics

“Transformers: Age of Extinction is the fourth Transformers movie made by Michael Bay, and it’s inarguably one of the four best Transformers movies Michael Bay has ever made. Even so, a lot of “critics” seem to have misread the movie entirely. At the New York Times, A.O. Scott frets over the film’s “narrative incoherence.” At Salon, Andrew O’Hehir says the movie leaves us “measurably stupider than we were before.”

These reviews miss the point so badly that you wonder whether they weren’t written by Decepticons.

Transformers 4 is a master class in global economics. Over the course of 166 minutes?—?long for a film, sure, but short for a graduate-level econ seminar?—?Bay destroys economic shibboleths as if they were a major metropolitan area concealing the Autobots from Lockdown. His lessons are pitiless: inequality will keep rising, job security will keep falling, and American companies will contort themselves into all kinds of embarrassing positions to suck up to China.

And Michael Bay will keep making all of the money because he understands the changing economy much, much better than you do.”

Oh my.

Just watched those honest trailers, and forgot how good they were.

“Megan Fox – Combines the looks of a professional porn star, with the acting ability of a amateur porn star”

“From the director most likely to masterbate to explosions….”

*chuckles*

The action sequences in the Raid are the exact opposite of the ones in Transformers. Everything seems to make sense in terms of where each character is in relation to each other and how they move around within the scene.

Transformers’ action scenes are just a baffling quick-fire series of seemingly unconnected crunches, scrapes and explosions.

All Michael Bay films are either misogynistic, homophobic or racist, often all of those things. He’s an awful film director and should not be allowed to go anywhere near childrens films. How he managed to sexualise a kids film about giant transforming robots is beyond me.

Pain & Gain is a film that should’ve never been made when you find out a little more of the back story.