New Transformers film

Took my son to see this yesterday. Went with an open mind and knowing nothing about this Transformers film. I liked the first film, was quite witty, ok plot, excellent robots n stuff*! The next 2 films were obviously not a patch on it, but come on, surely the makers learn and make a film more like the first one??
Nope. Holy crap this is one of the worst films ever. The script is embarrassing – the only “wit” being a character saying “Shit”. This is used about 4 times in the film. There’s one bit where Kelsey Grammer’s character is monologuing and what he says makes absolutely no sense at all! it’s bizarre.
Anyway, unless you’re a masochist, do not spend 3+ hours of your time suffering this tedium.

Good review here sums it up very well indeed

*Megan Fox, pre lip job

Film making for the NUTS! generation?

I blame the punters who keep paying to see ’em.

Sorry. I’ll never go again!

I blame the punters who keep paying to see ’em.

+1

How can anyone go to a Michael Bay film expecting anything but utter shite anyway?

Charlie Brooker description of Transformers sums it up for me:

“It was like being pinned to the ground while an angry dishwasher shat in your face for two hours.”

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2009/aug/03/hollywood-ideas-charlie-brooker

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/movies/news/a582264/mark-kermode-reviews-michael-bays-transformers-4-shark-sandwich.html#~oJUsucn9kANVbd

Mark kermode review here

Its brutal

“shark sandwich” from 6 minutes if you just want the best of it.

NUTS generation?

Do any of them say “Robots in disguise?”

No!!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in August though 😀

I listened to Kermode’s 8 minute rant… nuff said.

Michael Bay is involved in that tmnt movie as well, so don’t get your hopes up.

The thing with transformers movies is they should be great fun in a disengage your brain and watch robots smack the seven bells of shit out of each other…. However somehow they’ve managed to make the movies painfully boring, with no investment in the characters and fights that looked like they were filmed by someone having a seizure so you have no idea what’s going on or who’s winning…

I am going to watch it free on telly in few years’ time. 😆

I enjoyed The Rock in a silly mindless entertainment kind of way – all the Transformers films are awful though, what did you expect?

Did your son like it though?

Did your son like it though?

He did. sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for the children (not literally, of course).

.. all the Transformers films are awful though, what did you expect?

Eh? doesn’t my first post answer this?

I expected big robots, a bit of humour, some action bits where i’d get a bit bored, some silliness… I just didn’t expect the whole thing to be so utterly STUPID

My son went with 5 of his friends last night and I was a bit worried they wouldn’t enjoy it after reading some of the reviews: they all loved it…but then they’re all 12.

I enjoyed the first one but then it was all new/fresh then: liked the start with the helicopter attacking the base and the pace kept going through most of the film with a bit of comedy thrown in. The others I could take or leave

Yep, my boy is 11 – its fine for kids, but I do know some adults that have gone to see it (or plan to)for themselves. Just warning against that 🙂

Went along with the family this evening to watch it,y sons obsessed with transformers probably because of his Autism and he’s been excited about seeing it for yonks, his mum was not looking forward to it but she admitted she enjoyed it his elder brother and I were benevolent as usual and look forward to seeing the new Planet of The Apes film which looks very good.

It’s by Michael Bay, of course its shite.

Does nobody go to the cinema to see some mindless rubbish and turn off for a few hours.

Eh? doesn’t my first post answer this?

I expected big robots, a bit of humour, some action bits where i’d get a bit bored, some silliness… I just didn’t expect the whole thing to be so utterly STUPID

You were wrong about the first one though – it’s utterly STUPID.

I quite like some mindless films but I can’t stand two hours of incoherent FX shots that seem to have been stuck together at random.

terrible films

BUT

a lot of the scenes are rehashed in latter films destruction of New York in Avengers Assemble

And

I can actual hear what is going on unlike mumblecore

However

Truly awful films

I did like the first one. Although I think grum’s saying I didn’t, which is surprising.

There is only one good transformers film – that’s “arrival from Cybertron”

I like big action movies, where things fall down, go BOOM!, but not when it’s just an incoherent mess.
I am really looking forward to How Train Your Dragon 2, though; I loved the first one, and this one is supposed to be even better.

Does nobody go to the cinema to see some mindless rubbish and turn off for a few hours.

NO i come here instead

This always helped the early ones!!!

grum – Member

all the Transformers films are awful though, what did you expect?

That’s fightin talk

Orson Welles’ last film 8)

All Michael Bay films are either misogynistic, homophobic or racist, often all of those things. He’s an awful film director and should not be allowed to go anywhere near childrens films. How he managed to sexualise a kids film about giant transforming robots is beyond me.

Caher – Member
NUTS generation?

NUTS! Magazine Don’t click really if you don’t like that sort of thing Not Ideal For Work
or better put

All Michael Bay films are either misogynistic, homophobic or racist, often all of those things. He’s an awful film director and should not be allowed to go anywhere near childrens films. How he managed to sexualise a kids film about giant transforming robots is beyond me.

I don’t understand why film makers look at a comic or something and think “whilst true fans of this love the original story and it works I think I’ll just completely rewrite the entire thing”

isitafox
Take a look at this simple explanation

Explosions >10
Boobies
Running
Car Chase x2
All goes wrong for heroes
Heroes save the day
Minor part hero does something sacrificial
Boobies
Roll Credits

I don’t understand why film makers look at a comic or something and think “whilst true fans of this love the original story and it works I think I’ll just completely rewrite the entire thing”

Save the Cat!

I don’t understand why film makers look at a comic or something and think “whilst true fans of this love the original story and it works I think I’ll just completely rewrite the entire thing”

Money?

I agree the films are crap, but judging by the box office takings for the first four films, they serve their purpose as far as the studios are concerned. Appeal to as many people as you possibly can without fully satisfying any of them.

$3,421,807,552 worldwide, according to wiki.

isitafox – Member

I don’t understand why film makers look at a comic or something and think “whilst true fans of this love the original story and it works I think I’ll just completely rewrite the entire thing”

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles being your perfect example. “I know, I’ll make them space aliens not mutants”. “Dude, it’s in the title, they’re mutants” “Pah! I am a creative genius, I do not concern myself with such details!”

Not seen the latest one, but I don’t mind them in a ‘It’s Friday evening, shut down with a beer, stick a film on and turn the stereo up’ way.

Yeah, they could have made them better, but my expectations were low and so that was OK.

Now the last Indiana Jones one, Crystal skull something or other…..that was a bad film.

The thing that killed it completely for me was the graphics/fx- how do you make a film that’s entirely about big robots punching each other, then make the bits with the big robots punching each other suck? At best it’s just ugly and unconvincing, at worst it’s like an acid trip. I remember someone described it as being like taking The Scream, redoing it entirely with primary colours, then attaching it to a drill.

I could have tolerated a lot, if it had good robo-punching.

Managed about 20 mins of one of the earlier ones, so dull, and have been known to watch late night Steven Segal films that channel 5 put on so not in any way unable to turn brain off and watch crap, there is a limit though 😉

Conversely, I finally got round to watching Raid 2 last night. Plot was stupid, length was about 45 mins too long, but dear god the action….the action 😯

….not a kids film, tho.

Point is, you only need to get at least one thing right when making an action film. Bay continually fails at this.