My washing machine is a time travel portal.

It’s the only explanation. I’ve not been out of Scotland for two years. Washing machine is three months old. Checked the filter today, to find a reading glasses cloth, a paper clip, 2 curtain hooks, and a five euro note. Absolutely no idea how it got there.

I have a time machine in my kitchen. I set the dial to 90, get in and then it spins me round with all this ‘time-fluid’ spraying over me and then when I get out I’m all old and wrinkly like a 90yr old.
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No, that’s a washingmachine.
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Milton Jones

The Five Euro note is one of mine, you can tell its mine because all my Euro notes have a picture of a bridge on them. Can I have it back please. You can keep the paper clips and stuff.

What’s the difference between a reading glasses cloth and a normal glasses cloth? Also what type of curtain hooks?

I don’t know. What’s the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

The spelling!

paper clips

CAREFUL! They might be on the war path.

Are they Unviversal?

Paperclips, you are Cap’nFlasheart AICMFP!

Ones weasily recognisable, the other is stoatally different. IGMC

AICMFP

I think we’ve already established that the fiver is mine. Bridge. Mine.

What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

Cape buffalo horns resemble a handlebar mustache; they have a thick, helmet-like base and curl down, then back up.

A water buffalo’s horns are large, long and curved in a crescent, while a bison’s horns are typically sharp and shorter than the average buffalo’s and are also labelled ‘hot’ and ‘cold’

You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.

Damn