A happier cricket story – it’s old but cropped up on my SM feed earlier
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MARK NICHOLAS for “The Cricket Monthly”
In Swansea in 1993, Viv was on strike to Marshall in a county match between Glamorgan and Hampshire. These were contests to savour, us hackers briefly living in a parallel universe with the greatest players of the day.
Malcolm sprinted in, but at the split second of his delivery stride Viv pulled away, clearly furious. There was silence. We looked at each other, then at him: no one dared say a word.
He marched forward, a smouldering warrior, and screamed, “HEY!” He was most of the way down the pitch now, marching faster with each step, thankfully past Marshall and past the umpire. “YOU!” Nothing, bar the horrified look on the spectators either side of and above the sightscreen. “THAT’S YOU! ” He was halfway to the boundary now and pointing to a spot just above the sightscreen, pointing to a man who was sitting alone, lost in the newspaper that hid his face. “YOU! ” Alerted by those around him, the man looked up from his broadsheet and, startled, pointed at himself like, “WHAT, ME?”. “YES, YOU!!!
“YOU’VE GOT DAVID GOWER AND ROBIN SMITH AT SLIP; YOU’VE GOT MALCOLM MARSHALL, THE GREATEST FAST BOWLER IN THE WORLD, BOWLING TO VIVIAN RICHARDS. AND YOU READING THE F***ING NEWSPAPER!?!