my 1 yr old daughter won't sleep through the night – HELP PLEASE!

my one year old daughter gets up about two or three times a night. Won't go back to sleep without a bottle of milk each time.

I'm totally broken after the last six months. Tried letting her cry, tried no milk but she just won't sleep through.

Any tips out there?

Mr and Mrs Tired

Any tips out there?

one way ticket to Brazil

Swift gin in her bottle before lights out.

MTFU – it's what some babies do.

There is lots and lots and lots of advice out there for dealing with it but the things that (seems to have – touches wood) worked with our twins (7 months old) is routine and a good feeding regime.

Has she weaned well? What food/milk does she get from 3pm onwards? Do you have a set bath and bed time?

MTFU – it's what some babies do.

Is, of course, the sort of helpful advice you don't really need especially as in the majority of cases it simply is not true. But let's pretend Smee isn't here.

Just wait a year or two and all will be well!

Seriously tho – if you're convinced she is getting enough food at other times (almost certainly is) then stop rewarding her for waking up. Will be extra bad for a while.

IME if you've not cracked the sleeping by 3 months, your stuffed!

My first slept a full night at 9-10 weeks, the second did it at 6 weeks, but the third really didn't manage it until he was walking…

Yup what glenp said, cut the milk rewards out. Then maybe some controlled crying – horrible but better than the the possibility of years of interrupted sleep

I've got a 15 month old, and she went through a phase a little while back of suddenly not sleeping through. If you think it might be teething, you should try Ashton & Parsons Teething Powders. We'd never heard of them but suddenly had a few people recommend them to us. You can get them at Boots etc. If it is teething problems (mouth pain, upset tummy etc.) they seemed to work really well.

M_F – in being an expert on absolutely **** everything shocker….

My son was four before he slept through the night the first time, my daughter was near 3. Some kids just seem to be like that.

They both woke every 2-3 hours for the first 18 months and then settled down to once or twice a night plus early rising after that.

My now 13 year old son now refuses to wake up and leave his bed. I think he's makign up for lost time. I do make a point of ensuring I wake him up early at least once at the weekend though, just out of petty vengance.

btw, my son had the privelege of beign admitted to intensive care at 12 hours old – he'd shouted/cried so much he turned blue and had to be put on oxygen. This extreme screaming did rather set the tone for the next 6 months of my life tbh 🙁

Both of mine had a time where they slept all night because they were poorly, and we took that as the time to stop night feeding.

M_F – in being an expert on absolutely **** everything shocker….

Not a shock really – I have twin 7 month old daughters so I have simply had personal experience in this matter very recently. I did think my response was more helpful than yours though.

Do people try threats? I am not a parent, but I recall being irritated by a particularly whiney child while on holiday once. I told it (in French, which was I think its native tongue) that if it did not fall silent I would sell it to the Turks. This worked like a charm. 🙂

M_F – having two young babies does not make you an expert on getting them to sleep during the night. Especially as you're basing your advice on a sample size of zero 1yr olds. I have a 3yr old and one at 18months, sometimes it doesn't matter what you do – they still wont sleep all night. Accepting this fact is key to being able to deal with it.

{Abuse removed – day of rest administered – Mod}

Gina Ford. The lazy parents nanny. I swear by her methods many swear at her.

Might help but you do seem to be rewarding her which might not be a great idea.

Check the norm, from what other people have said, teething, colic etc…routine is key and (I know it feels horrible at first) just don't let them call the shots, or they will take it too far. Its really easy to start fretting over them everytime they make a sound, but after a while they will expect the comfort and then you are just in a vicious circle. Our little ones started sleeping right through the night after about 2 – 3 months (luckily) but was hellish at the start.

Failing that, theres always more night riding to be done 😉

Check the temperature of the room, controlled crying does work but takes a while sometimes, maybe she's waking up hungry, try increasing her food at dinner.
Although some children do just go through phases of shouting, demoralising though it is it will pass, if you're doing controlled crying I found it easier to be up and watching tv or on the pc rather than getting out of bed and then back into bed and then back out of bed.
Our to go through bouts of not sleeping and it does begin destroy you after a week or so, good luck.

cheers, think teething is an issue, need to stop the reward. She eats ok. I realise its what babies do but I'm broken at work!

Let her sleep in your bed? although I do realise that some folks really don't go for that.

My other solution was to go and hold a hand but not to pick up BUT that is nearly impossible if the child is screaming and you have nearby neighbours

Gina Ford +1

I read the book cover to cover, and it makes sense to me, the gist is making sure they have enough food & milk during the day, never get stressed by being hungry and learn to put themselves to sleep.

A lot of negativity about GF must be from people who read snippets, as in isolation a lot of her methods seem harsh, but altogether they make perfect sense.

Best tenner i ever spent and my 14month old now sleeps from 7pm to 6am most nights (except when teeth cause issues or the kn@b with the Subaru down my road is on earlies and starts it and its 4" exhaust at 4:50 am to warm the oil for ten minutes gggrrrr)

Unless you're underfeeding her – I'd avoid the milk. That's a step backward. You'll end up extending her wearing of night nappies and go through some serious bed wetting.

It's a difficult one and with the child unable to communicate effectively – it's hard to determine the exact cause.

Each of my daughters as babies had trouble moving into their own room – because we shared a room and had the cot at the end of our bed. We got them to share a room and that solved it.

FWIW our routine is
7am milk feed
8am porridge
(then I leave for work)
11.30 lunch (mainly homemade veg/meat puree recipes followed by fruit purees)
3pm milk feed
5pm dinner (mainly homemade veg/meat puree recipes followed by yogurt)
6.30pm bath
7pm milk feed

They *generally* go down for 7.30pm and now sleep through till about 6am. We still get some night calls but we try to deal with them without milk unless we know the crier had a bad last feed and is genuinely hungry.

I know such a strict routine isn't for everyone, but with twins we decided it was the only way it could work. Also the above times are flexible by about 30 minutes each way.

M_F – having two young babies does not make you an expert on getting them to sleep during the night. Especially as you're basing your advice on a sample size of zero 1yr olds. I have a 3yr old and one at 18months, sometimes it doesn't matter what you do – they still wont sleep all night. Accepting this fact is key to being able to deal with it.

It makes me able to give my views and advice wouldn't you say. I can say without hesitation that I have given more advice than you have managed to muster so far. No matter what age (after about 12 weeks), there is no reason for a baby to *regularly* wake in the night. Granted there will be nights it happens, but it doesn't have to be a regular occurrence that someone should 'MTFU' and get on with.

Now Jog On ****.

Nice touch – are you losing your touch at well-reasoned arguments?

At about a year or so, our eldest was drinking a full 11oz bottle of milk before bed and another one during the night. Those were some full morning nappies 🙂

I slept through from a very early age. This could have had something to do with my parents widening the hole in the bottle teat with a darning needle so the rusk they'd dissolved in it would get through.

M_F – in being an expert on absolutely **** everything shocker….

You have no experience of 1yr olds. And you also have no experience of babies that are having problems sleeping through the night. From where I'm sitting that puts you in a pretty to shit position to be giving advice to anyone.

My advice is clear – it's what some babies do. If you accept it then that removes the stress of thinking you're doing a bad job of parenting. I wouldn't expect you to understand that though, because you are the best at everything.

Reasoned arguments are evidently not your forte, so that is why i included the last bit.

Has she weaned well? What food/milk does she get from 3pm onwards? Do you have a set bath and bed time?

it's conversations like that that i wish to avoid….

You have no experience of 1yr olds.

Don't I?

And you also have no experience of babies that are having problems sleeping through the night.

Don't I?

If you accept it then that removes the stress of thinking you're doing a bad job of parenting.

Does the OP think that? It certainly doesn't sound like that is their issue – rather just that they are struggling with lack of sleep. Which is very different to thinking they are bad parents.

It's gonna be due to bum, tum or gum. My guess would be gum. Keep her drugged up and maybe some teething crystals for her to munch on.

No, but dont let that stop you spouting forth as, after all, you are the oracle.

I don't know where people get the idea that babies sleep all night and that this is the 'norm', and therefore must be addressed as a problem.

Babies don't have 'regular' sleep patterns, and they wake at different times for all kinds of reasons; to expect them to get their heads down for 8 hours every night is wildly unrealistic.

The problem is much more to do with parents and their expectations than with kids, and it is something that goes away after a while, so my advice as a dad of three is stop worrying, accept that you will be tired and get on with it.

Smee – Premier Member

M_F – in being an expert on absolutely **** everything shocker….

Smee – Premier Member

No, but dont let that stop you spouting forth as, after all, you are the oracle.

I'm sure everyone else here can see this, but

SMEE IN POT MEETING KETTLE SHOCKER

Now Jog On ****.

Whilst being his usual pleasant self. What a moron…

And one more little point for you trollingsmeefighter. The child is 1yr old and they have been having problems for six months. My girls are coming up 8 months. Go get a calculator then still say my experience isn't relevant.

Go get a calculator then still say my experience isn't relevant.

He has problems with calculations – he thinks he's been driving since 16…

Your experience isn't relevant. You do not have a 1yr old that hasn't been sleeping for 6 months. End of story.

The child is 1yr old and they have been having problems for six months. My girls are coming up 8 months. Go get a calculator then still say my experience isn't relevant.

Given you don't generally call it a "problem" when 2 month old children don't sleep through, then your experience isn't relevant to people who've been having problems for 6 months. Is it just because it's coming from TZF that you don't get the point that children are different, and just because you've found something that works for your two, it doesn't mean it will work for your next one if you have another.

My daughter slept as if she were dead, in fact, in the mornings I couldn't bear to look in case she was! (She wasn't)

My son howled the place down. Two things you could perhaps try 1) give your baby some rusk or rice or something like that to keep her little tummy full 2) have you got some friends or family who will take over for a night every now and then so you two can get away and sleep?

Oh yes, I almost forgot the most important thing, gripe water. Fantastic stuff.

My daughter slept as if she were dead, in fact, in the mornings I couldn't bear to look in case she was! (She wasn't)

My son howled the place down. Two things you could perhaps try 1) give your baby some rusk or rice or something like that to keep her little tummy full 2) have you got some friends or family who will take over for a night every now and then so you two can get away and sleep?

Oh yes, I almost forgot the most important thing, gripe water. Fantastic stuff.

Oops sorry, it posted twice for some reason.