Meaningless ad phrases that make you stop reading

Phrases, not words.

Closing down, everything must go.

Oh shit I’d better buy it if it *has* to go.

“Solutions”, as in “plumbing and heating solutions” or “fresh coffee solutions”, lthough that isn’t as common as it was.

Pan fried grips my shit! See also hand cut…

Deep fried distinguishes from from fried just fine

@vickypea ooh yes. “Snacking solutions”.
Beds that are not beds but “sleep systems”.

Yep, ‘artisan’. It basically means, ‘miles more expensive & probably shite’
I met someone from this site who said he was ‘an artisan’, I lost interest not long after.

“Legend” … 😡

“lifestyle” and for the pedant as in “lifestyle destination”, “lifestyle solution”, “lifestyle homes” ……wanders off to bathroom to put fingers down throat

“First to see will buy”.
Regards

Denis

“Most unique” as it either is or it isn’t
“110% effort” isn’t actually possible

I was thinking about this kind of stuff the other day.

Then I saw the most jaw-dropping bit of marketing guff I’ve ever encountered in the MTB world.

I’ll see your “game changer” and raise you this (from Sram’s press statement on Aaron Gwin’s drivetrain)…

“Our goal is to the tell the complete drivetrain story in which performance and reliability is optimized by using all SRAM components”

Basically they’re stroppy ‘cos he’s using an E13 crankset, I think.

Source

“Magic” and “magical”.

‘Home-made’

Whose home and why wasn’t it made in a professional kitchen??

Anything which uses the phrase “xxx % more”, with out saying more than what.

So; “The all-new Boswollox-syngery-pro, makes your hair 45 % shinier”. Shinier than what? Talcum powder?

@P-Jay

Your last paragraph is so good I have saved it.

“7 day NHS” 👿

in music technology: ‘workflow’. If it does what you want when you want it to, and plays nicely with other little electronic boxes, then that’s great. if it doesn’t, then before you put it on sale, invest some more time in development and put it out there when its really ready you chumps.

in musical instruments: ‘crafted in’. “made in” is good enough for something built mostly by machines and hand finished in a western country, somehow the fact that it was made in the far east requires a different verb to describe the same process.

What about “Pan Fried” ?

I call misdirection. Everyone knows that fried food is bad for you, right? So if it’s “pan fried” then it’s obviously something different so must be ok.

Wow – they’re kind of grumpy for a company who’s products are being showcased for free by one of the highest profile riders.

“”Executive” anything. What does that even mean? “

Relief??

Our goal is to the tell the complete drivetrain story in which performance and reliability is optimized by using all SRAM components

oh wow. Every meter is off the scale with that. That actively makes me want to not use them which is silly really

Ironically the biggest “drivetrain story” of last year was when he won at Leogang despite his chain breaking.

As far as I can see he was on Sram last year.

😀

Line caught
Corn fed

“”Executive” anything. What does that even mean? “

One of our neighbours across the road put their house up for sale this week. Their house is exactly the same as ours.
It’s described on the estate agent’s website as “executive”. That must make me an executive then, cool.

There’s a preloved pop-up sale in town tomorrow if anyone wants to visit and shout angrily at passers-by. 😉

Some of the shampoo ads, ‘Pentapeptides’ WTF. Made up. Caffeine! why should caffeine be good for your hair! And Turbo! really gets my goat.

It seems to be magical.

In house/flat rental adverts, the word “luxury” normally means one step up from student doss house