Lane swimming, a mini rant!

We tend to get 2 types in the pool we use. Either the 2 abreast having a chat whilst doing slow breast stroke, or the aqua jogging lot. If you want to very slowly walk the length of the pool, get out of the lanes. And if you’re there to socialise, likewise, get out of the lanes.

A few months ago I went swimming in Bingley pool, it was after a long layoff with an illness. There was an over 60s session in after my swim so the attendant blew the whistle to tell everyone to get out to let the wrinklies have their turn.

The thing was, I’d lost so much weight after being ill my Speedos came off when I leaped out of the pool, only for Doris, Agatha and Betty to get a right eyeful of my walnut sack before I could pull my trunks back up.

The attendants now call me ‘Bingley Flash’ every time I go.

Either the 2 abreast having a chat whilst doing slow breast stroke,

it’s a bit like being behind two cyclists chatting away and taking up the whole lane…

Ooo, and the ones that wait for ages until u just reach the end, then set off under your nose significantly slower than you. Grrrrrr.

The best time for the swimming pool is when everyone else is at work.

Nah, then it’s full of the blue rinse brigade that deposit their bottle of Dior on the surface of the water[/quote]

That is the case, if they don’t have the option between the 25m (with retractable roof, seriously!) and the 50m pool like they do at my local baths 8) I’m spoilt rotten, I’ll admit it 😀

Ooo, and the ones that wait for ages until u just reach the end, then set off under your nose significantly slower than you. Grrrrrr.

Yep and more often than not, you’re the only people in the lane.

Ooo, and the ones that wait for ages until u just reach the end, then set off under your nose significantly slower than you. Grrrrrr.

Yes, them!
Or the ones that over 10 lengths, say, get closer, and closer, until you feel you should let them past, and then with no one to chase, they slow down…

“I am a man. I am quicker than a 14 year old girl. I am quicker than that old fart doing the breast stroke, badly”

This definitely, so many blokes see a lone female in the fast lane and assume they must belong in there too. I like to amuse myself by overtaking them whilst just using a kickboard 🙂

A couple of times I’ve got into the empty medium lane when there’s been somebody in the fast lane (slower than me – but that’s superfluous as the only people in a public swim session faster than me tend to be people I know – not that I’m amazing, but the fast guys don’t go to public swim sessions much). Then again on that basis it’s clear that my experience of public swimming is a lot less busy than most of you, which would explain why I don’t really recognise most of the aggro you lot get. I’ve always tended to go to lunchtime sessions, which do seem to be quieter than the morning or evening sessions when I’ve occasionally been to those.

Oh and since I was the only person in the lane I reckoned I might as well swim lengths in the same place rather than doing circuits 😈

What size Speedo’s for best lane control ? 😆

Tight black ones of course.

As a race, we do pretty much suck a lot of the time.

Yep. I started swimming in earnest quite late on in life (40s) -after prolonged disability/poor health and it’s been a struggle to find a lane that suits my fitness/stamina ie not granny lane, but sometimes not medium depending on how fast the ‘medium’ is.

I tend to choose quiet slots with just two per lane and ask someone already in the lane if they mind taking half the lane rather than us swim one after the other. This seems to work well, mostly.

The swim1fast/stopnchat crowd also drive me nuts, as do completely thoughtless selfish people. As in all walks of life.

Outdoor pools FTW.
I was doing a lot of triathlon when I moved here. The pool opened early and was laned. It was always full of mums swimming breast stroke sometimes chatting across three lanes, so unless you swam slower than the slowest you’d never do a length. Ended up driving 1/2 to the next town that had an open water pool. Never once saw another person in it.

The Serpentine was also a great place to swim.

” have your purse ready at the checkout you stupid bint, I can’t spare 7seconds, while you empty your bag looking for it” CHILL THE **** OUT PEOPLE. If your a swimmer of any calibre it shouldn’t be a problem.

My local pool had a lane for front crawl and a lane for breast stroke regardless of speed. I did try and push them on whether they meant front crawl or freestyle but they were having none of it.

Check your ego and pick the lane that suits the speed you’re swimming at.

Or simply buy your own pool.

Or find out when the pool’s at it’s quietest.

Or put up with having to share; you’re not training for the olympics, so does it realy matter that you don’t achieve your personalbest?

I am a man. I am quicker than a 14 year old girl

Not me. 😆 Nor the vast majority of blokes I see swimming. Those little kids can be unbeleivably quick! How is it even possible??

I find a 50m pool better for avoiding ‘lane rage’ and congestion.