Is my stepson odd?

Might end up being a long story but here’s goes,
He’s 25 & lives with me & his mum. He’s just got his 1st full time job (went to uni then did a masters which he’s just finished). He’s had numerous P/T jobs while at uni. He’s tall & good looking but doesn’t have a big circle of friends & doesn’t go out much although he sometimes stays ‘at a mates’ after work, (he was finishing at midnight sometimes then was at work next day so we thought it was to save on travelling, which was probably true)
Yesterday his sister phoned his mum & said, did you know Mike had a girlfriend which he’d had for over a year? Nothing unusual there you may think, but he’s never mentioned it to anyone that we know, including us! Still nothing unusual? maybe. This girl had got in touch with Gemma via a random message on Facebook, looking for any girl with the same surname as Mike. She knew he had a sister called Gemma but that was all. He’s recently got a motorbike & since then she’s never heard from him. Not a thing. So she was worried that he’d had an accident, she said it was ‘so out of character for him not to answer his phone/texts etc. Even Gemma was surprised (she’s very hard to surprise) His mum however was upset & angry that he’s said nothing, he’s always been the apple of her eye, he’s lived with us (board free) all the time & we can’t think of any particular reason why he’s kept it to himself.
It appears the him & the girl have split up now but she sounded really worried which I can understand.
His mum asked him about it last night & his 1st words were, ‘who told you?’ He seemed more peeved that we’d found out than anything else & was like, ‘well I don’t have to tell you’, which pi$$ed mum off even more!
I’ve always said that Mike’s main interest was Mike, he doesn’t seem to care about much else but himself. I know lots of people like that as well.
Mum found this girls FB page from Gemma’s login & she’s nothing to be ashamed about by the look of it, although we wouldn’t put them together at 1st sight. (she looks a bit Paloma Faith like)
So apart from the fact he’s found motorbikes more interesting than a girl with tattoos….we know nothing else!
What do you lot think?

Mum found this girls FB page from Gemma’s login

Maybe he was just trying really hard for a bit of privacy?

next time he’s out find his computer and check for anything unusual.

Yes, it sounds odd but we (and by the sounds of it possibly you) don’t have the full story.

I’d suggest just asking why he didn’t mention it rather than being confrontational about it.

Or possibly his mum/someone is intrusive in his life without realising it and he didn’t want to be subjected to scrutiny.

What do you lot think?

Honestly? I am wondering why you would post this on a public forum, before talking to him.

Maybe she’d given him a hard time about previous choices of girlfriend and he just wanted to avoid a repetition?

Bit odd the way he dumped the GF though.

you never know…

A bit socially inept, yes, but speaking as someone who is essentially quite socially inept, I don’t see a huge amount of odd here.

Maybe he’s also a bit more private than you or his mum are and wants own space, maybe mum is (or has been) a bit invasive/judgmental and doesn’t realise, or he thinks she is, or he’s just being a bit ‘teenage’ still, and all that. etc etc.

TBH he just sounds a bit immature to me.

25? no rent? lucky so and so.

he seems weird
She seems weird
you seem weird
😉
You need to ask him why he did it

Is this them?

The guy’s 25 and therefore (shock horror) an adult. What he does is none of your business, as long as it doen’t have a direct and/or detrimental effect on you and your partner. And by that I don’t mean his mum being worried about him – that’s what mums do, I’m 41 and my mum still worries about me if I don’t ring her at regular intervals. It’s part of their job description.

What I would say is that you need to knock the board-free bit on the head, ricky-tick. Tell him now he’s gainfully employed he contributes to the household upkeep or he finds his own place.

I never shared much with my parents either, don’t see the problem.

It could just be he is ashamed of you 😉

Is this them?

Brilliant!! 😀

So what if he IS odd? What are you going to do? Send him to normality classes? I think that question, and this:

His mum however was upset & angry that he’s said nothing

.. are significant. Maybe he doesn’t want you making a fuss over the details of his private life. I feel this way about my Mum sometimes – she used to make such a fuss that in the end I just didn’t involve her.

I don’t find it odd that he might want some privacy, especially if he’s still living at home at 25. If him and his mum don’t have the kind of relationship where he’s comfortable sharing that kind of stuff then you both have to either accept it or try to talk to him and deal with it.

Why is it any business of yours/your wife what he does? he’s 25 and can make his own choices. If he were my son I’d be telling him to get some self respect and move out. Who wants a manchild hanging about the place.

I don’t think any of that is weird.

full house of weirdness

Sounds like he’s a bit of a knob. Tell him to grow some hairy swingers, MTFU and go and break up with the girl if he doesn’t want to go out with her any more.
Then charge him room and board or kick him out, he’s 25 not a child.

I don’t tell my parents everything that goes on on my life but keeping a girlfriend secret for a year is a bit odd

I think you should instigate naked tuesdays at the house, thatd soon clear him out!

Perhaps it’s time he found his space elsewhere. At 25 years old you shouldn’t really be worrying what he is doing … if he is gay and sleeping with all the boys in town, or straight and sleeping will all the girls, that is up to him.

You can’t make any judgements re the ex GF – may be lovely / may be a bunny boiler. But whatever, she did have enough to hold his attention.

And he certainly shouldn’t be sponging off you

Does he have any “World of WarCraft” stuff?
Or a full sized Star Wars outfit?

As for not telling you about the GF , why should he? I didn’t tell my parents about every girl who showed me a good time !

Tell him to grow some hairy swingers

*two* Bill Oddies doing the Funky Gibbon?

esselgruntfuttock – Member

So apart from the fact he’s found motorbikes more interesting than a girl with tattoos….we know nothing else!

Well, now you know he’s gay, you should be supportive.

He’s tall & good looking

was the girlfriend possibly a bit short? – was he brought up to be a shortist and a bit ashamed?

Sounds like a right enough lad, if I was tapping Paloma faith I wouldn’t brag about it, there is a good chance he hasn’t had a lot of practice dumping birds but that’s not a crime.

Mum found this girls FB page from Gemma’s login & she’s nothing to be ashamed about by the look of it

I love that comment!

Does he like stealing old mans pate too?

Was PF on Room 101 a little while ago? If so, I’d buy a motorbike and just ride away into the sunset too, or maybe catch a bus, or just walk actually…

There’s context we can’t know or judge. Might have been accidental secret, never mentioned to avoid to the hassle of Mum questions, we all know them, and then suddenly its been 6 months, and its been too long to say anything. from there the awkward can only grow…

The not contacting his GF is a bit off, but other than that no it doesn’t strike me as odd. I’m in my 30s and I’ve not told my parents about any partners that I’ve had over the last few years. Mostly because I can’t bear the thought of the inevitable 3rd degree questioning that I’d get. Perhaps he just like the idea of some privacy and something that is solely his.

His mum however was upset & angry that he’s said nothing

I realise this is going to sound quite blunt but it’s not about her. If he doesn’t want to talk about his private life then that is up to him.

Leather him………buckle end is best !!!!

I don’t think it is odd some people are more private than others. Yes this maybe a more extreme case but I wouldn’t be worried. I don’t get why his mum was upset he is completely entitled to his private life remaining private.

I’m pretty close to my mum, out of the three brothers its me she always turns to for help. However I don’t tell her about my girlfriends- she is meddlesome and doesn’t approve of anyone I ever go out with. I don’t feel the need to seek her approval. The two girls I’ve ever been really serious with I’ve taken to meet her and tbh she wasn’t that pleasant to them. If its not serious why get your family involved?

Leather him………buckle end is best !!!!

Never did me any harm!

“always fart before putting the gimp suit on”

Does he like stealing old mans pate too?

No but he thought it was funny as well.

I said to his mum more or less what most people have said, It’s up to him what he tells anyone. Still can’t understand why he has no thoughts about anyone else’s feelings though, felt sorry for the lass as they were together for a while.
When I said his mum was angry & don’t know if thats the right word, she was like, ‘what have I done wrong that he doesn’t want to speak about anything’ He’s what you call ‘deep’ & gives little away that’s for sure!

Anyway, how much board to charge for a 25 yr old on 17K? 😈

My wifes sister lives at home and gets charged £50 a week for board and food. I think she is getting a damn good deal. Food alone will be over half that.

But if you charge him more than a fair amount perhaps he’ll finally move out and get on with his life!!

Show him this thread*. He’ll see your concern and welcome the fact you sought advice**.
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*Don’t show him this thread.
**He most certainly will not welcome it.

*Don’t show him this thread.

Too late, I have already told him via Facebook, as found his FB page from Gemma’s login!