Internerd Dating help

Isn't internet dating a bit like salsa classes? In as much as you sign up hoping to meet all sorts of sprightly, eager women and end up rubbing up against a load of sweaty middle aged men with exactly the same idea. 🙂

I dread to imagine what the ratio is. Although it's possible that most sweaty middle aged men in my position are watching dwarf porn and tugging themselves raw into vaseline-filled socks rather than joining dating sites, so you never know. 🙂

my mate reckons they are about 10:1 male to female. Not sure what sites he is referring to as I declined to ask.

I'd cut out the middleman and get on Gaydar if I were you. 😉

10:1 Probably right judging by what female friends who've been on them say.

Which begs the question… where do single women actually look for love?

Pubs and clubs are sausage fests, the net is full of filthy old men, where are the women??

Which begs the question… where do single women actually look for love?

Pubs and clubs are sausage fests, the net is full of filthy old men, where are the women??

Well, I fall into the category with the current highest divorce rate (over 50). All I can say is that judging by the quality of responses that are soiling my inbox, it's probably easier not to bother!

Seriously, I can get to spend more time with my beloved bikes rather than some bloke saying "you love your bikes more than me". Been there, done that. 🙄

soiling my inbox

snigger 😯

>watching dwarf porn and tugging themselves raw into vaseline-filled socks

You mean you're not ? 😯

FREAK!

I dunno about proportions, but a female "friend of a friend" who has registered with an encounter site (i.e. sex rather than relationships) says she gets about a dozen propositions a day. Which I guess keeps her busy.

M

CG I totally appreciate your last sentance (if you swap bloke for bird) but I still have a nagging need to err.. ensure my lineage, preferably with a half decent looking, sane woman, who can at least tolerate a cycling obsession.

Who says romance is dead!?

Fit, Sane, Single.
I am so utterly utterly badgered if me and OH ever split up. So badgered.

OP, I'd suggest saying something like you ride clipped in but I'm not sure most women would get the joke. Which is the thing, really, do you want a biking/outdoors type? If so, a pic of you on a mountain or riding your bike will attract those sorts of people.

I think there are lots of divorced blokes about, who have naff all but a Ford Mondeo, a rented flat and a few bad habits to their name. The divorced women tend to have a house and sorted themselves out through necessity.

When it comes to finding a bloke, I suspect a lot of women realise it's going to be near impossible to find someone one something like an equal footing in life.

BigDummy – Member

I dread to imagine what the ratio is. Although it's possible that most sweaty middle aged men in my position are watching dwarf porn and tugging themselves raw into vaseline-filled socks rather than joining dating sites, so you never know.

TBH BigDummy, from your previous posts i'd have had you down as one of those you describe. although, possibly dolphin porn. not sure. don't want to delve too deep.

I cant offer any advice on the dating scene. I asked a girl if i could carry her books home when i was 15 and havent been without her since (18yrs)

I do however take great interest in my wifes friends at work 😉 There are a few that fit the 30+ catagory and single. One is particularly interesting. Attractive, fit (Played football quite seriously), funny, well paid etc etc. All the things i would look for myself. But she has been single for about 3yrs.

Before that it was a few blokes from time to time but always someone with a flash car etc etc. Nothing run of the mill.

Anyhow the reason i bring this up is because she has suddenly admitted to being in a relationship with a guy from their work. This guy is mr plain. He is 35 and has a bloody hair implant ffs. Totally bornign and even if i do say so myself, not exactly good looking.

My wife asked how she ended up going out with him and she admitted that although he doesnt 'float her boat' he is really nice, cooks for her, is always nice to her and……yep is really nice. She knows he isnt mega wealthy or gonna be playing football with her but he asked and has been nice to her so far.

My advice is, have the balls to ask and be nice. Your personality will take over from there and if it was meant to be it will work

TheSouthernYeti – I would keep quiet about your obsession!! Definitely the sort of thing to get the ladies worried.

tron – I accept that can happen when young children are involved. But I just wonder whether people can't be ar$ed with the whole process.

thomthumb – yes, that is how it feels! I look at their profile and think "why would I want to meet you?". But then again I kid myself I'm a classy lady as well as top totty. 😉

hate to break this to you BD, but as of today i am now officially not married, things will get more difficult for you i guess 😉

Well I have not read everything, but from all your posting it seems to me that you have genuine human qualities, some humour and are a rather educated and intelligent bloke. So it shouldn't be too hard for you to find someone.
As for dating web site. The So and I met on a website to meet people that label itself as a non dating website (hum). We both had some fairly empty profile. Just with plenty of pictures. Then you use the website messenger, you use your private messenger and then you meet up.
It's a bit like chatting to a girl in a pub, you first chat with her because you like what you see, then make a few comment, get a drink to chat a little more then get a phone number and a date.
Don't get too stressed about the profile. To be blunt with you, it's mostly on look. Just make sure you have several nice and quite recent pictures of you.
You can mail me if you want.
HTH

Internet dating is like selling a car. Your profile is the advert to get someone interested in getting in touch. Email/text/phone is convincing them to come along on a date (view the car) to ask details about it's owners, service history and performance. If you're lucky they may take the car for a test drive and decide to keep it for a while before trading it in for a different model when it starts to show it's age and/or is replaced by a shinier model.

That is pretty cynical DaveGr 😯

I suspect a lot of women realise it's going to be near impossible to find someone one something like an equal footing in life.

was it not nancy astor who said i married beneath me , all women do?
more famous for the churchill exchange
Astor "if you were my husband I would poison your coffee"
Churchill" if you were my wife I would drink it"

Internet dating is like selling a car

<swiss tony>selling a car is a bit like making love to a beautiful woman!</swiss tony>

Do you need to post pics? If I were to use a dating service again I'd go with an ad in the Guardian SoulMates section. Does that need a picture these days? When I used it it was just a recorded message.

Personally I'd prefer not to have pics prior to meeting, but then I didn't want to know the gender of our babies either, so maybe it's just in my nature to like surprises. I'm pretty sure that asking to meet women who are fit and outdoorsy is probably sufficient to turn up a few nice looking ones.

Of course you have to post pics! I need to get across my 'foxy lady' image. 😉 Would not consider meeting anyone unless I had seen a pic.

I need to see that they have brushed their hair, shaved, made a bit of an effort. 🙄

Edit: some of these older blokes have no bl**dy idea. Their name is down for the old folks home or with the cardiac surgeon cos all they want to do is cook/eat in restaurants!

shaved

Back, sack and crack? 😯

Auntie C-G, you have too high an opinion of men.

Restaurants = get you drunk without you noticing
Cooking for you = you won't taste the Rohypnol

Wanted

Good women to cook, wash lycra and make cakes. Must be good in bed and have a niche bike. (Singlespeed a bonus)

Own teeth not important, please send photo of bike

zokes – slow down. 🙄

Moses – are you insinuating that I'm being cynical about men? You're right!

Tiger – this is the 21st century, catch up mate. 🙄

And why is a singlespeed a bonus?

l do not regularly wax my scrotum or own an Audi TT

If you put that on your dating profile – it'll certainly show you which of the ladies have a sense of humour.

I would also add the caveat "Sorry I am currently unable to send money to Eastern Europe and now have a tremendous fear of the Minsk accent."

That probably lowers your odds, but will save you time…

Wanted

Good women to cook, wash lycra and make cakes. Must be good in bed and have a niche bike. (Singlespeed a bonus)

Own teeth not important, please send photo of bike

The whole premise is that the gentleman is more interested in his hobby than the women in question. It's a very poor attempt at humour and in no way should be taken seriously.

The singlespeed is a reference to the fact that niche bike snobbery is alive and well on STW.

21st century darling but we still have to explain the jokes 😉

Silly me! Women aren't supposed to have hobbies but, seeing as you've asked, my singlespeed is an Inbred 853 steel. 🙄

Actually I can accept that I'm weird … and that's why I can't be ar$ed any more!

Silly me! Women aren't supposed to have hobbies

Why not? it's good everybody should have hobbies

but, seeing as you've asked,

Nope, didn't ask

my singlespeed is an Inbred 853 steel.

As opposed to those dried custard 853s?

Actually I can accept that I'm weird … and that's why I can't be ar$ed any more!

08457 90 90 90

I merely made a bad joke (and a tongue in cheeky one) and totally unprovoked was told to get with the program with rolly eyes, now I can accept being told to get with it but rolly eyes well that just taking the biscuit..

Women … don't you just love us? 😉

Women – can't live with them, can't bury them under the patio

So – are Cinnamon girl and Big Dummy going to get together? We could have our very own soap opera going on.

echo bunnyhop

that's a band, isn't it?

TJ – I can't believe what you wrote!

The last place I would look for a real man would be a hobby forum populated by middle-aged, middle-class IT slackers who drive Audi's very badly and spout bollox all day. 😯

But CG – bigdummy is one of the better one on here surely? 🙂

Go on – we need a bit of romance on the forum.

I was going to offer the key to my brand new combine harvester, but I'm not so sure now.

Thanks for that TJ. I particularly love it when people arrange unsolicited knock-backs for me. 😀

Sorry BD 😳