I think I have bedbugs :(

this morning I noticed red blotches all down both sides of my torso, from 3mm to 20mm across. They must be quite livid as my colour vision isn’t good. They don’t hurt or itch at all, and I wouldn’t haver known if I hadn’t seen them. Should I burn the house down now ?

No, but burning the mattress might be a good idea! Stayed in any hotels recently? Or student digs?

Alternatively, might it be an allergy of some kind?

bed bug bites usually go in lines of 3 as they get disturbed when you move about and go snack elsewhere. you can get rid of them simply by putting tupper wear tubs full of water under each bed leg. failing that you could just wash and clean stuff you dirty tramp

Changed washing powder recently ? I once started using Tescos own brand stuff and a week later started coming out in blotches.

Night night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.

If they do, get a shoe, and crack their little heads in two.

There you go – sorted.

we bought a house from a couple who`d been to south africa on hoilday and sent some wooden furniture home just before we moved in ..
we had a very bad couple of months trying to find out what was biting us , had the house fumigated twice , new carpets and new bed . get the pro`s in as soon as possible . 🙁

failing that you could just wash and clean stuff you dirty tramp

that sounds too hard 🙁

Changed washing powder recently ?

yes I have! I thought I’d found the answer until I realised I haven’t actually opened the pack yet…

not nice..

put a pig in your bed, then wait with the lights off, when they come out to feed on teh pig you can tell them off/ ask to leave, or smash their brains in.

Is that actual size cheezy??????

just a youg one 😯

some of your adoring internet fans have crept in to your bedroom aand given you gentle love bites whilst you slept The risk of getting caught probably exites us them more

as already said an allergy or dehydration. Mr MC gets marks like that when he gets dehydrated!

Could equally be fleas – have you a cat or a dog in the house?

Could equally be fleas – have you a cat or a dog in the house?

not over my dead body – which may be sooner than I’d like…

I’m off home to look for the telltale signs now I know what they are. Anyone got a flamethrower ?

Here’s my 2 penneth on bed bugs ! You need to be clear that they definitley are bedbugs, as if they are proper eradication will be expensive. Did you find any blood spots on the bedding near your head? They are drawn to the Co2 as we exhale and after gorging on blood often fall off leaving tell tale bloodspots. Most local councils use a generic bug spray to which bed bugs are highly resistant. At best generic chemicals might drown them. The stuff about 3 bites is crap, they just feed, and breed lots… You don’t need to throw bedding, just launder it as normal (soap powder has detergent in it) and get the right chemicals sprayed by a spcific company that work with this growing problem.

We had these. Bit me senseless.

It was our dog though. You could actually SEE them on his body 😮

I liberally sprinkled salt on the mattress and put something bought around the bed on the floor (they travel across carpet)

Good news, Craghoppers makes insect repellent ‘lounge wear’ which you can wear in bed and should protect you from the little horrors. It might just be rats of course. Have you been roughing it in dubious foreign bunkhouses?

Be sure of what you are dealing with is my advice, lots of stuff on bedbugs online . I am not sure if wearing protective clothing would be my choice, these are likely to be inneffective, meanwhile the house is infested by bugs, wait till it gets a bit warmer and they really get breeding and feeding, I advocate full chemical treatment , providing of course that they are real bed bugs and not a bit of an ouchy from friction or other harmless skin rash from washing powder/ allergy/ old injury etc

What’s the deal with putting water-filled tupperware under each legs of the bed?

bed bug bites are most normally on shoulders arms bits uncovered and stick out of the bed, strip the bed and check mattress and bed frame for staining (black looking spots normally piping of mattress, joint of bed frame especially head end ) if you find them get the pestcontrol in. hotwash laundry if you can`t wash it freeze it for a day. hope it s not, but count on a couple of treatments as you have to get them all!

Apparently they hide just about anywhere eg in light fittings, bed frame and require multiple fumigations to eradicate properly – utter nightmare.

Night night Simon 😀

I shall be feeling for any scurryings under the sheets as I sleep tonight!

What’s the deal with putting water-filled tupperware under each legs of the bed?

Yeah, I’m intrigued! 🙂

They can’t fly, so can’t crawl up the legs off the carpet

My bed doesn’t have legs, it’s just wooden slats on a frame on the floor…

Why did i read this just as i head to bed……FFs!
<scratch scratch>

But don’t they live in the mattress, not the carpet? I’ve seen a couple of dead carpet bugs in my place, but they don’t bite, I don’t think. They bloody best not, I’ll chin the buggers! 😡

Well, I get to see the hot lady doctor tomorrow 🙂

Chinning bugs, lol !

Well, I get to see the hot lady doctor tomorrow

To be honest turning up for treatment for bed bugs us probably only slightly less of a turn on that scabies or the clap. So i doubt your hot doctor will be all over you a la pr0n videos. Sorry if you didn’t want to hear that.

“Hey why don’t you come back to my place baby?”
“Erm because you have bed bugs you manky bstrd”

Had these,bought them home from Canada after a holiday there.
Ring your local council environmental health dept, they will come out, check if it is beds bugs and then organise the treatments. Ask for name of chemical they will use to re-assure yourself it’s the right one for the job. (should leave you a COSHH leaflet)
They will end up living / spreading all over the house.
You will need to get them professionally sorted though, homebrew fixes won’t work.
Bites often have a red appearence with raised harder white area in middle and generally itch badly for a few days.
Hth

get outta there quick…..set blow torch to 6000 degrees and burn em’..
then get in an acid bath and you,ll be reight….failing that..ALLERGY ! 😉

I am not sure if wearing protective clothing would be my choice

I was joking 😉

Exit the house and use one of these to sort it out

Simon? Simon?……….Are you there??…………………………..

Did the bed bugs…?

Simon!

Oh no we’ve lost him 😥

Doesn’t sound like bed bugs to me. A gf years ago had them and when I stayed over I got attacked – they ignored her for some reason, was it because she was black?! My arms got bitten so many times that they looked really swollen. You’ll see dried blood spots on the sheets and the odd squashed one you’ve rolled onto.

Racist bed bugs?

So i doubt your hot doctor will be all over you a la pr0n videos

well, as far as I know she’s happily married to another doctor in the same practice but that doesn’t stop her entertainingly leaning forwards a lot 🙂

Did the bed bugs…?

I couldn’t find any evidence of them and I don’t think I have any more marks either…