How to introduce onesself to…

Just to add to the general pool of knowledge on this delicate matter following Kit's legendary thread t'other week.

This morning, on the London underground, I actually witnessed a young man perform the following. Standing in the middle of the carriage, he removed a battered Moleskine notebook from his bag, selected a blank page, and wrote (in a flowing, confident hand):

Don't you hate the way people don't talk to one another on the tube?

Simon

[cell phone number]

He then tore out the page, carefully folded into quarters and placed it in his pocket.

Sadly, I left the train before I was able to witness the handing-over of the note, and I am not therefore able to pronounce on the degree of success that accompanied the move.

Has anybody (other than Houns) actually got the balls to do this in real life? I was slightly in awe. 🙂

Sadly, I left the train before I was able to witness the handing-over of the note,

it was you he wanted to give the note to.

The possibility did cross my mind. 🙂

was it Kit in his new job?

he bottled it!

I met one of my best girlfriends ever on the Bus. I told her that she was so good looking I'd kick myself if I didn't take the chance and she went for it..

I have 'introduced myself' to women in a public place if that's what you're asking?

I used to walk up to ladies in pubs/clubs and announce I was leaving shortly and they looked a little bored so they were welcome to join me for something better than wherever we were.

It worked all the time.

would you seriously consider someone who owns a molesskin notebook though?

Now, that is elegant stalking.

I hope he didn't use a fountain pen, however. Nothing wrong with fountain pens at all (I use nothing else), but Moleskine paper is such poor quality… 😉

Freaky bloody stalking!

Tube rules…

Stand on the right
Never look at people
Never talk to people
If you want to get off and somebody is in the way look at the flooe and muble "'suuse mee"

Being northern I talk to people on the tube when I'm druunk and it scares the life out of people unless they are northern too.

I saw a lady sitting on her own in a restaurant once, she was so utterly beautiful I almost walked in there and said something along the lines of the above. I was with my parents tho 🙁

I often thought of buying a PAYG mobile phone with just my number in the contacts, and just handing it to someone I fancied. Never did it tho 🙂

I witnessed this 'chat up' between a young man and a girl a while back.

HIM (after calling her name for some time) I been thinking…You should see my cock
HER. What?
HIM Seriously, we should, y'know, go to it…
HER: Go to it? You've got as much chance of f**king me as becoming the next prime minister
HIM. Excellent, I like a challenge…

Ultimately I've no idea whether he was successful, but you've got to admire the style…

Ultimately I've no idea whether he was successful

I seriously doubt it 🙂

She was smiling, as were her mates. I got the impression this was merely a skirmish in a larger 'war'…

I been thinking…You should see my cock

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I might try this on my way home. 🙂

I'll look out for you on the news…

cock

I asked a shop assistant in Habitat in Kingston out once. She was beautiful (I'm not). So I bought a sieve. Quite why I chose a sieve I don't know, but she was clearly impressed with my potential culinary prowess when I blurted out "well, thanks for your help, and if you fancy a drink sometime then here's my number" before writing it down on one of the big sheets they wrap vases in.

She called me two days later. We ended up going out for about 3 months, until she went travelling for a year.

Damn, she was fit and a cracking shag.

She was beautiful … So I bought a sieve

This, Sir, is a splendid response to a difficult situation. 🙂

Heard a story from a friend a while back of his mate doing the newspaper crossword on the train, he was sat opposite some gorgeous girl and he filled the crossword in perfectly with something along the lines of "You're gorgeous, here's my number".

As he got off the train, he handed the paper over and told her she could finish it off. His mobile rang as he was walking out the station, she said something about him being really cocky but agreed to meet him!

I don't think such tactics work unless you've already have 'that' look from the other person.

No, not that look, the one where they're probably thinking 'haven't I seen that face somewhere before? OMG it was on Crimewatch wasn't it???!'; I meant 'that' look. The one where, for some bizarre and incredibly (and possibly quite perverse) reason, they might actually want to sleep with you. I find it a little unsettling personally.

+1 The sieve story!

She was beautiful … So I bought a sieve

I'm not great in these situations, nerves get the better of me. For that reason i'm glad I'm happily married and no longer on the market. Because knowing about this technique would surely have led me to……. still not having the bottle to ask pretty girls out, and having a cupboard full of sieves to prove it.

After a while, you'd get to the point where you could open with the line "I've been thinking. You should see my sieves".

🙂

Elf, I know exactly what you mean, it's that cheeky little half smile/grin…

Got one of a seriously good looking blonde the other week, when I lent against her car at some lights. If I wasn't in a relationship….

The question is, had I bought something better, would she have allowed her very fit friend to join in?

So, on a scale of implements I'd say:

Sieve = vanilla
Pasta machine = threesome with maybe a bit of les thrown in
Coffee machine = orgy
Jelly molds = sex in a paddling pool filled with jelly

She was beautiful … So I bought a sieve

This, Sir, is a splendid response to a difficult situation.

+1 😀

pk there are web sites for that sort of thing mate…

Sieve love…I'm off to John Lewis

A girl in another dept at work keeps asking me to take her riding, she is the ex of someone in my dept though, should I buy a collander*

Actually this is true, only her txt usually say "when are you going to take me?"

Mr Toast had a bit of a difficult time chasing me. We met at work, and he would email me, we'd chat, he gave me his mobile number and said we should go out some time, he took me to dinner. I thought he was just being friendly – it did vaguely cross my mind that he might fancy me, but I'd dismiss that thought as being a bit vain.

Eventually he sent me a text message saying "I LIKE YOU!!". I twigged then…

I am so glad that my wife's cousin kicked me in the shins until I asked her out, when I was 13.

You went out with your wife's cousin? Is that legal?

You went out with your wife's cousin? Is that legal?

I'm assuming he wasn't married to his wife when he was 13, so her cousin was fair game.

I once walked up to a stunning girl in a club and asked if she had a light she replyed "no i dont smoke" so i said "thats good because neither to do I"

she looked a bit bewildered as i explained that i just wanted to meet / chat to her but couldnt figure out how to start a conversation and i had been asked for a light several times so thought it was a good start…..she thought it was a really smart idea and we dated for 2 years!!

Pasta machine = threesome with maybe a bit of les thrown in

Les?

Whatever floats your boat.

I'm assuming he wasn't married to his wife when he was 13

ooh i don't know it is funny up darlington 😉

used to carry a lighter even though i dont smoke for that very reason!

This whole issue was nailed beautifully by Flight of the Conchords, when Bret felt unable to ask out the pet shop assistant – and so repeatedly bought goldfish from her.

She was beautiful … So I bought a sieve

+1, quality…. 😆