How to convince someone who hates mountain biking to, er, not hate it?

Despite my best efforts my Mrs. absolutely hates the idea of mountain biking. I’m not one for forcing my hobby on others, but she has recently said she would be interested in getting involved to a) get fit and b) share a hobby / spend time together etc.

I’ve taken her twice in the past 4 years and to be fair they were disastrous. The first time was a disgusting day in Gisburn, she couldn’t get going on the wet bottom section and worst of all her chain kept slipping and jamming (from a hire bike). The second time was a quick jaunt round Phillips Park. I made the mistake of taking her down the red – she screamed down the hill and was pretty annoyed at me. My bad.

So basically I need tips, or a programme of progression for someone at the very beginning of riding a mountain bike. I just don’t trust my judgement.

She doesn’t want to join a group ride or go on her own – so it’s down to me.

Really? She’s a beginner. Take her on easy trails. Not trails you think are easy. Easy trails. The clue is there with the red trails – compared to other trails it’s deemed relatively hard.

Be patient. If she says she’s had enough after 10 minutes then be prepared to turn around and go home.

Ride somewhere nice. Pleasant trails with good views, not too techy (if at all). Good weather. Crank up the difficulty gradually.

Tandem? I jest, whereabouts are you based? Trail centres are maybe a good place to start as you can guarantee a hot chocolate and a slice of cake at the end, plus there’s generally plenty of options for cutting it short if needs be, and maybe stick to greens/blues to start. Whereabouts are you based? Some very easy natural rides could also be a good option, disused railway lines and the odd bridleway, etc. Depends whether you want to risk spending the money on something you might not stick to , but some warm/comfy clothing might help a lot too.

Does she ride a bike any other time?

You might want to start off with towpath or green lane rides.

Ride somewhere nice. Pleasant trails with good views, not too techy (if at all).

I’m all ears!

Got to nice places, places where she might actually be able to ride, and enjoy herself (not where you want to go). Go to places where she can look at nice things, horses, or other stuff, maybe with a nice café for coffee and cake and where she’ll tell you that she quite enjoyed herself.
But then you called her “my Mrs”, and wrote “my bad”, so forget all that stuff above.

As above, plus, from experience with my Mrs, watch what you say. If you try to be helpful and say “there’s a bit down here where you need to watch out for the overhanging branch/little step/sharp bend/whatever” they may then start crapping themselves from the off, wondering what the thing is they’re looking out for, as it must be pretty bad otherwise you wouldn’t have mentioned it…

It’s not going to happen. MTBing is one of those things that either grabs you or it doesn’t. It clearly doesn’t grab her, otherwise she’d have wanted to do it from the off.

She probably won’t enjoy it that much; she probably won’t do it enough to get good enough to do anything interesting; she will probably feel inferior or that she’s ruining your ride etc etc.

Find something else active to do together, I reckon.

Sunny, flat, easy, wide trails with very nice views and a pub lunch at the end.

Something that allows them to enjoy the countryside, not the bike. They are not interested in the bike, what size wheels it has, the rebound settings, the roots you can get air off etc.

They want to see nice views with flowers and squirrels and a river and a reward at the end.

Family trail round FoD perhaps ?

slowoldman – Member

Ride somewhere nice. Pleasant trails with good views, not too techy (if at all). Good weather. Crank up the difficulty gradually.

This really, remember to ride at her pace the whole time (yes, up and down). Starting in winter can be very ropey, for obvious reasons.
Plus, if buying a bike get her to involved to make sure she gets one she actually likes the look of – it does make a difference.

Ride somewhere nice. Pleasant trails with good views, not too techy (if at all). Good weather. Crank up the difficulty gradually.

+1

Go somewhere natural with easy bridleways, in summer.

Everyone loves a hack arround the fields on a summers evening, then she might get into more technical tracks, or suffering round the same fields in mid winter mud.

Most resevoirs have a flat-ish cycle path arround the shore, that’s the kind of thing.

The approach you take totally depends on who she is doesn’t it?

My missis hates cycling – really hates it! She loves hard exercise and adrenaline, though 🙂 I sorted her with a decent bike (actually, mine :/) got her riding fun stuff, taught her to corner and booked her in with Jedi straight away.

She still hates cycling, but loves uplifts

I actively avoid involving the other half.

My hobby, my mates, my time out… the last thing I want is my bike time (limited) ruined.

Walking/hiking with the other half is great…. just not biking.

But if you want it to happen then nice rides with tearoom stops etc.

Get your mrs a really nice bike, and start with toe paths or quiet lanes. No more than 10 miles, and go to the pub, or a picnic in the summer. maybe a bit of off road if it’s dry. make it enjoyable in other words No more reds!

Was in the lakes over Christmas with the family and took my sis around the Whintlatter Blue. She’s fairly sporty but not really done any mountain biking. It was really tough for her, made me appreciate that trails I think are p1ss easy are not easy if you don’t mountain bike. She enjoyed it but we stopped after 1 1/2 hrs as she was starting to wane a bit as the effort and concentration is quite high.

So, take a big step back. Think fire roads, land rover tracks and trail centre greens and easy blues. Think cafe stops. Think that <2hrs and 12km is a the best you’ll manage. Choose good weather.

Had similar issues, on our first ride together I took her to Coed Y Brenin, bad idea, ended in tears. I’ve also found that I’m actually a pretty crap teacher and when we both went out just us it tended to end badly.

Getting her together with some female friends who also rode and getting them to take her out was far better, that or going out in a mixed group so the focus isn’t all on her.

She’s been totally focused on mummying these past 3 years, our youngest will be old enough to get in the Chariot this Summer and I’m really looking forward to getting her Orange Diva out and seeing her riding again.

You really need to build up to mountain biking if they’re not confident on a bike. Start out with flat easy routes through picturesque countryside. Do rides that she will enjoy.

Bridgewater canal down to Dunham Massey is quite pleasant.

I go mountain biking once a year with my brother, we’ll do a blue trail or similiar local XC, he’ll have a comedy crash for no reason, I’ll show off on some harder stuff, it’s all very pleasant. He’s pretty fit which helps a lot

Something that allows them to enjoy the countryside, not the bike. They are not interested in the bike, what size wheels it has, the rebound settings, the roots you can get air off etc.

They want to see nice views with flowers and squirrels and a river and a reward at the end.

Sounds like me.

Look at it from her perspective: if she was in to horse riding and you weren’t, would you expect to go round the Grand National course as your first ride out?

Pick an easy route with good views, one or more cafes/pubs along the way and short cut/cop out options (but don’t mention those at the start).

It’s not about the bike!

Nice summer long weekend away to CYB. Loads of trails of varying difficulty and mid/north wales is a nice area, plenty to mix up the MTB with so she doesn’t get bored of it.

I made the mistake of taking her down the red – she screamed down the hill and was pretty annoyed at me. My bad.

Ha!

Try taking her to some natural trails. My girlfriend didn’t enjoy CyB at all, but we’ve had good days out along bridleways in the Peak and Dartmoor when we lived in Plymouth.

She isn’t at all confident on the bike, so I have to find routes which don’t involve anything very technical, but I’m afraid you just have to sacrifice a bit of the gnarr to gain the pleasure of having a day out with the missus 🙂

Stick at it and the results can be impressive:

531072_360238770722418_1848675071_n by mark_p2511[/url], on Flickr

^^ That her in the background legend?

if you’re serious…

1) get her a bike that a) fits, and b) works. her bike is now more important than yours.

2) get used to carrying the jackets she’s discarded after 5mins. It’s not her fault, she’s not being soft by starting off in a warm jacket. she can wear whatever she needs to feel comfy/confident. Suck it up.

3) don’t force her out in crappy weather – she will let you know what her definition of crappy is. She’s allowed to change her mind at any point.

4) reds are WAAAY too hard.

5) 10k is a long way.

6) take snacks, stop for a snack every 20 mins.

7) start her off with something really mellow.

chambord – Member

^^ That her in the background legend?

She’s killed for comments less cheeky than that 😉

Tell her you’ll go to bingo with her and start knitting (or whatever else she does) as a compromise.

Cheers everyone, recognise the red was a mistake. Tow paths sound the way to go (that one to Dunham Massey sounds like one to take a look at)

But then you called her “my Mrs”, and wrote “my bad”, so forget all that stuff above.

Nice to see someone’s remembered their ‘Judge people based on an innocuous forum post’ pills. Tricky to remember them, especially if you’re trying to remain at peak ass*ole….

And you don’t have a sense of humour either do you?

@legend that’s the dream!

In addition to the above, (if it were my wife) I’d start with a conversation like “I realise I got it wrong before, really sorry but I’d still really love to go on bike rides with you, how about we pick a nice day in the spring, find some nice tracks, I’ll carry a picnic or we’ll find a pub to aim for and see how it goes? It’ll be like a nice walk in the countryside, but we’ll go a bit further and see a bit more.”

Or something. I reckon you do need to start by admitting you were wrong before, you’ve listened, reflected and learnt, and that it’ll be different this time.

I was in exactly the same boat, the gf had no interest in mtb whatsoever. But then she decided she wanted to get fitter/healthier and suggested we go mountain biking together. Her dad had an old Norco 6.3 bike lying about so i put new brakes on that (no chance of me getting Avids working after 2yrs of non use), got it all up and running and took her to Gisburn on a really nice fresh, clear day. We just did a loop of the blue and she loved it. Even got her confidence up enough to try ‘Swoopy’ at the end, which she did unfortunately end up walking most of. We’ve since been a few more times and had a great time.

She’s not ‘hooked’ as such but she does enjoy it and can at least understand why I love doing it. So cuts me a bit more slack than in the past.

Lots of good stuff up there, try your local national trust places, just go for a ride.

Plenty of great advice above. Mrs FBJ is plenty fit enough on her road bike but is terrified off road although she periodically goes through spells of doing a fair bit. We’re currently trying (at her request) to do a ride a week, only about an hour/hour and a half, with as many stops as she wants, plenty of chatting and nice views. I ride half a wheel behind her so she’s setting the pace, carry a backpack full of everything we could possibly need and we stop for coffee if she wants to.

Just take everything at her pace, remember it’s a trip out for her and enjoy watching her confidence and skills grow if she sticks with it.

Brechfa Green or Blue and Green. I’ve taken a few novices there and they’ve all loved it where they’ve been terified on Reds at Afan. It’s also one of my favourite trails which helps. No rental on site so you’ll need to sort that another way and surprise her with a really nice hotel or B&B so there is somewhere nice to come back to.

Or something. I reckon you do need to start by admitting you were wrong before, you’ve listened, reflected and learnt, and that it’ll be different this time.

Yep, that exactly what I’ve done.

Given all the above, maybe January is not the best time to do this. A sunny day round a national trust estate via a few tow paths in early spring seems the way to go!

Delamere in the dry.

I’m liking the fact that you took her round the red loop in Philips. You knob. 😀

My girlfriend has always ridden a bike everywhere around town and is quite happy for a bit of a pootle along a towpath or sustrans route but she was adamant about not riding off-road after a couple of bad experiences where friends had taken her out of her depth on local trails..

So… We went for a nice ride on Dartmoor, mostly road with a couple of flat level forest trails and we both got off and walked when she felt out of her depth.. we both pushed our bikes across the moor and saw some lovely scenery..
Then we did a few farm tracks and more easy stuff locally, always leading to a picnic or somewhere picturesque..

After a while she tried some of the woodland singletrack and loved it.. the trick is to get her out riding some stuff to very gently build her confidence, but to always make it feel like you’re just out and about on bikes having a lovely day out together

My Mrs is the exact same, she isnt interested, despite us having 2 little boys (7 &8) that are really good at MTB’ing and love riding reds with me at Llandegla, Coed y & Cannock.

I would love for her to come along and ride with us – on her terms, and on Blue’s – you know, as a family.

I’ve given her one of my Old bikes, and fitted it out with all new kit – so its as good as new now. She’s even had a bike fitting to make it “Lady Friendly” in the saddle area, as that was sited as the biggest reason NOT to join us. THE BIKE FIT (and new saddle) MADE A BIG DIFFERENCE TO HER “WANTING TO RIDE” – I’d recommend it.

My latest plan was to get her a comfy fat bike to ride… due to the weather she’s only ridden it around the park, but seems to like it – fingers crossed.

>>> I’m watching the thread for ideas <<<