How long till a friend/family member has used up all 'favours'?

*If all goes well in negotiations with the farmer next door, that will be a big fence to erect, several trees to dig out and a lawn to lay

And I would put money on him being 'busy' again. I've been on the receiving end of people like that and witnessed it happen to others so often that I can say with 90% certainty that the flow will be all one way.

There is a very real danger of you doing yourself an injury which may not surface until years later. Leave it to the pro's who (importantly) are insured. As has been said – if he can afford the new house, the cost of removal men is a tiny % of the moving expenses.

As has been said – if he can afford the new house, the cost of removal men is a tiny % of the moving expenses.

Wheres this years holiday for your inlaws?

Wheres this years holiday for your inlaws?

I *think* they are giving it a miss, but mainly because we are all planning to go over to LA to see their other brother next year for his 40th and that will be silly money – we will be struggling to even afford it 🙁

And I would put money on him being 'busy' again

Well if he is, then I really will say no next time and expect my wife to back me up.

as he is not very good with drills and Rawlplugs and the like

Never will be if you always do it for him! It's not exactly rocket science, is it?

Never will be if you always do it for him! It's not exactly rocket science, is it?

Well no – I had help from others when I was younger and can now do it. Still, he is only 29 so perhaps still learning. I dunno.

mogrim has a point.

Change of mind- Personally I'd research a few reasonable moving companies.

If he lacks the empathy to understand the one-way favour-street its because he knows hes taking the piss to save him money.

I honestly don't think he is taking the piss, I just think he is so wrapped up in his own life he hasn't stopped to consider others have one too.

I haven't even got to the absurd requests he has made to his mum and dad regarding several full weekends babysitting their three very young children… (for example, one where he asked whether they could have the children for three nights, his mum said she wasn't sure she could cope, he booked flights to Paris anyway, she had to have his kids).

The more I discuss this, the more I am beginning to realise there will have to be a time very soon when this is discussed openly with them.

If you want to go down the removal men route, we have moved 3 times in last 5 years, great quick service and cheap enough 4 bed house with 4 kids £350 and we were in for 12

1st Choice VG Removals 31, St. Anns Road, Rotherham, South Yorkshire S65 1PF

Tel: 01709 914096

Italian lads who were friendly and put all the stuff in the rooms we wanted eg 3 storey house and moved a wardrobe somehow up there, would have broken me and my army of helpers!!

Yeah but only part of it is the moving (from what I understand – I am trying not to think too much about it), most of it is actually sorting the stuff out for him, putting curtains up, rebuilding furniture, all that crap.

The more I discuss this, the more I am beginning to realise there will have to be a time very soon when this is discussed openly with them.

Just do the English-way* – be busy.

*No I don't mean taking your shirt off and chanting football songs that he isnt singing and your not helping anymore whilst throwing stella cans at him

If I get a few Stellas out of him at the end of the day I will be happy 🙂

If I get a few Stellas out of him at the end of the day I will be happy

In that case, can I book you for february next year when I expect to be moving…….and I'll throw in a curry as well 😉

The more I discuss this, the more I am beginning to realise there will have to be a time very soon when this is discussed openly with them.

Good luck. IME (and you realise this already) he will have no idea that he has 'imposed' and you will come across as Mr Meany and the whole family will hate you for being so petty and unhelpful. My (ex) mother-in-law had a saying that "when you do someone a favour once, they are grateful, twice and they expect it every time". How true, I wish her bloody daughter would have taken heed. Bitter…..moi ? 🙄

If I get a few Stellas out of him at the end of the day I will be happy

you subservience is quite easily bought then? if that's the case, why moan about him in the first place?

you subservience is quite easily bought then? if that's the case, why moan about him in the first place?

Cos I was being lighthearted I think (in saying some beer would make it all alright)….

As I mentioned earlier, sometimes we need to look after ourselves and ourn own priorities instead of other people and their's.

It's also important you qualify this with your missus. Ask the right questions and you'll get the right answers (on behalf of both of you).

Totally agree spacemonkey – knowing the long list of tasks to be done at our own home I really can't get my head around spending the day helping someone else but I have found myself being offered up to help and can't really do much to get out of this now. My wife does know (in no uncertain terms) that I am not at all happy about it though so I would be surprised if she would consider offering again unless it is being reciprocated.

knowing the long list of tasks to be done at our own home

There's an easy solution right there surely, know anyone who owes you any favours?

"sure, I'll help you move. I've got jobs x, y and z to do next month, when shall I expect you?"

Kill him. With death.

Is your missus helping too or is she expecting you to do everything ?

Is your missus helping too or is she expecting you to do everything ?

Ohh she will quite happily help where she can – she hasn't just put me up for this to walk away.

What I assume will happen is that her mum will end up with our two 1yr olds, her brother's 7 month old, 3 yr old and 5 yr old and we will all be doing the move, directed by my brother-in-law's wife (from previous experience of 'helping' them).

Hora, can I kill her with death and extra added pain please?

Well, I did my bit yesterday…

Before we set off I called and asked whether I should take any tools over with me 'no, we have absolutely everything we need here' they said.

So we dutifully went across and my first task was to put their daughter's cot together.

No problem.

Until I asked them if they had a screwdriver as I needed one to offer up a series of hidden bolts and turn them into position.

The sister-in-law said 'well we have never needed one'.

'But it does really need one to do it properly' I said.

Eventually using a mix of fingers and a children's plastic knife (I kid you not) I managed to get it put together.

She then comes back in and announces 'well (husband) always did end up swearing lots when he tried to put it together'.

Well yes, that's because he has always tried to do it without the ufcking screwdriver that is an essential tool!!!

Jeez – no wonder they needed help.

Ahh well, all done now and I shall be sure to stuff myself silly on free burgers and beer at their housewarming BBQ in a fe weeks time.

🙂

Ahh well, all done now and I shall be sure to stuff myself silly on free burgers and beer at their housewarming BBQ in a fe weeks time.

…assuming you get an invite!

Well he did tell me yesterday they were having one so I assume that was an invite of sorts.

I had better bloody well be 👿

…assuming you get an invite!

Oh, he'll get an invite alright – after-all, someone will have to assemble the BBQ before it can be used….. 😉

LOL I never thought of that 😆

😆

This thread reminds me of an old parable…

If you squeeze a sponge and water comes out, what do you do? You squeeze it again.
If water still comes out – you squeeze it again.

If no water comes out – you stop squeezing.

Oh, he'll get an invite alright – after-all, someone will have to assemble the BBQ before it can be used…..

And cook, and clean up afterward, and redecorate..

Really enjoyed reading this m_f, thanks.

Really enjoyed reading this m_f, thanks.

My pleasure – and it certainly helped me get things off my chest too.

Made me laugh yesterday when the sister-in-law showed me her great idea for extending 'we are going to build an extension to the main bedroom on top of the integral garage'.

Err no you are not – you are going to knock the integral garage (that has a single skin outer wall) down, dig down about 6ft to create proper foundations, put in RSJs and no end of other stuff before Building Control will sign off an extension like that.

Clueless. A generally nice family to be fair, but clueless. 🙂

Glad it made you smile – enjoy the BBQ!

Ahh well, all done now and I shall be sure to stuff myself silly on free burgers and beer at their housewarming BBQ in a fe weeks time.

Well he did tell me yesterday they were having one so I assume that was an invite of sorts.

A girl in our office was telling me all about her wedding next week, do I take that as an invite?

Err no you are not – you are going to knock the integral garage

Err no you are not – I am going to knock the integral garage

How can anyone not own a screwdriver??? Its pretty much the most basic tool there is. When they said they had all the tools they need, I wonder what was on that list 🙂

How can anyone not own a screwdriver???

they come in various sizes 🙂

[edit] and double up as chisel, prybar, drift etc…

How can anyone not own a screwdriver??? Its pretty much the most basic tool there is. When they said they had all the tools they need, I wonder what was on that list

Well they did have a Tommy Tippee plastic spoon 🙂

To be fair the toolbox was at the old house. He brought it back with him to the new house (unbeknown to me) after I had finished putting the cot together. We then went back to the old house and guess what – we needed some tools. 👿

Err no you are not – I am going to knock the integral garage

Shit – good point. I am busy that day/week/month.

SimonBarnes – exactly my point – they get used for everything, perhaps they are the most fundamental tool – so how can someone not have any and yet say they have a toolkit. 🙂

Midnight… ^^^^

To be fair the toolbox was at the old house. He brought it back with him to the new house (unbeknown to me) after I had finished putting the cot together. We then went back to the old house and guess what – we needed some tools.

so how can someone not have any and yet say they have a toolkit.

well, I have lots of bent, rounded and broken ones :o)