How do I ask my mate to cycle slower .. politely.

At the moment he’s a good friend (but this could change) when we go out cycling he’s too fast. He’s like a coiled spring usaully and likes to go off like a shot as soon as we start, I like to break in gently and settle to a rythym, this matches our different lovemaking styles tbh. He has to push all the time, balls out dancing on the pedals for the whole ride watching him down a slight decline is frustrating coz I like freewheeling. All too often I find him waiting/track standing/cycling in circles/practising bunny hops like an attention deficit eight year old. It’s only from flat/cycling.

I’m capable of more but choose to pootle. Sometimes he screams inane sounbites like ‘Turn those pedals’ ‘ok let’s pick it up a bit’ ‘faster FASTER!’ ‘Go go GO’

Other times when we’re stopped He’ll ask ‘you go as fast as you can all the time and I’ll match you’ but tbh, life’s too short and I’m enjoying watching him slowly break down.

Don’t say go and ride with a group coz I’ve done that a fair few times and the lack of faff is unbelievable.

😉 It’s Friday afternoon…

you need to ride with jekkyl’s mate – he sounds slow! your mate can then ride with jekkyl 😆

I’d just remove my crank and batter him with it.

Rule number 5.

The Rules

u need to ride with jekkyl’s mate – he sounds slow! your mate can then ride with jekkyl

*WOOOSH*…

Secretly train hard and then one day destroy him.

Secretly train hard and then one day destroy him.

I did this once but not in secrecy, I just didn’t seem him for a while and got a road bike. My mate just got even faster after that.

our different lovemaking styles ….. balls out

😯 Not sure which one’s which but if one’s balls out the other’s sounds painful!

Get a 29er (assuming he is riding a 26er) then it will transform your riding up to his extreme levels of speed 😉

balls missed this.

oi, you skinny racing b’stard, slow down – you is sh!t on the downs anyway and will hold me up.. Or get in his way so he hits you from behind..

Oi nobhead I come out riding with you so shouldn’t you make some effort to ride with me?

Or something like that

You sound like Jekkyls riding buddy!

sorry OP, i’ll make allowances 8) 😉

Dam, these slow riders are everywhere!

Have you tried just asking him ?

You either need to be at the same pace or be both wanting to push it hard to enjoy your ride
It sounds like neither of you enjoy your trips out so why are you doing this?

No seriously, if he’s on a 26″ buy a 29″. I bet you that it’ll make a fair difference.

Other than that, ride with someone else?

‘ok let’s pick it up a bit’ – off you go then, see you in the pub/cafe/never again you mental bastard..

He’s your mate not your wife, just have a mtfu biscuit and tell him…

Start by letting air out of his tyres when he is not looking, he probably running them at 40 psi.

If that doesn’t work start putting heavy objects down his seat tube

Failing that tell him to get a single speed

Stop and have lunch when he has ridden off or change your route half way round.

But before that have the honest conversation that you need to warm up slowly and get into your zone.

Also MTFU and ride a bit harder

this matches our different lovemaking styles tbh.

Quality!

Did your missus tell you that?

Sounds like you guys are on totally different pages ! Start riding on your own or find some new riding buddies 😀

Had a similar problem with a friend I used to ride with not slow or fast but wanted to stop for a chin wag at every trail junction and not just a two minute quick chat more like 10/15min of him moaning about his o/h(she was/still is as mad as a box of frogs)used to drive me crazy so just started upping the tempo between stops and he just naturally feel by the wayside as a riding buddy and as a friend(for different reasons),now ride with a small group and one of us likes to go off like a bullet and me and the other go at our own speed, meet up again at gates etc everyone’s happy 😀

I have a similar issue… my mate rides the keilder 100 and other races and then just expects a slightly overweight, mostly sleep deprived skateboarder who started riding bikes in 2011 to be able to keep up with him… I haven’t got it in me. Its also putting me off meeting up with other people who i suspect are better than me and would end up waiting.

I only ride with my whippet mate, after 11 years of being drilled into the ground by him I’m kinda used to his style now, saying that I have benefitted from his speed I for sure have gotten way faster as a result. This leads me to head off the front of new groups which is a bit embarrassing TBH.
Main problem is..

I don’t like riding slowly 😐

I had same problem with my mate, he’s an ex-marine and just blasts off as soon as we get on the bikes. I just pootle along at my own pace, I’m out for my enjoyment and not his! He used to stop every five mile or so and wait for me, but eventually got bored, so I suggested I set the pace and he holds my back wheel. Works well, he has to be a bit more patient with me and I have to up my pace ever so slightly.

If anyone needs to practice riding with a slow mincer………….. 8)

As stated above: ‘whoosh!’

Fill his inner tubes with sand 😀

How about you suggest meeting him half way into his ride? So he gets an hour or so to thrash himself and should be starting to slow a little or fancy a break, then you join him fresh.
If you keep on as is likely outcome is he will become an internet bike buddy who just sends you emails about bike stuf and youll not actually ride together (ive 3 ex buddies like this now…)

Good friends (especially blokes) would be able to have a straightforward conversation about this, without needing to be “polite” or to ask advice on a forum.

Just tell him to slow down.

Otherwise, find somebody else to ride with, or ride on your own.

I put rocks in my mates back pack , doesn’t slow him down at all 😀

Any fast riders in staffs get in touch!
Great responses for a piss take thread, lol.

This thread really entertains me. Especially those posters who actually refer to the post it is parodying.
this!

This got out of hand. Quickly.

😳

Indeed it did…!

Fancy taking the road bikes for a spin tomorrow?

DrP

What nonk said but but just the ” oi nobhead ” bit. He is your mate afterall.

Does he just ride wiyh you so he can show off?

I ride with a mate who waits at the top of every climb in return i wait for him a the bottom of the descents.

I don’t think you are going to get an answer on here… try writing to Dear Deidre at The Sun newspaper.

…..If you get a response can you post it up here for our amusement please?

I’ve not ridden with two mates since the last time they raced off in their own “I’m faster than you battle” “no you’re not” etc, effectively leaving me trailing behind on the uphill sections but only to find them in my way on the downhill sections, but not moving over.