Home Forums Bike Forum How do I ask my mate to cycle faster…politely.

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  • How do I ask my mate to cycle faster…politely.
  • jekkyl
    Full Member

    Tongue in cheek really as he’s a good friend and I’m not really arsed but when we go out cycling he’s too slow. I’m like a coiled spring usaully and like to go off like a shot as soon as we start, he likes to break in gently and falls into pootling speed all too easily. For me I have to push all the time, not like balls out dancing on the pedals for the whole ride but pootling down a slight decline is frustrating coz I could be spanking it down. All to often I find myself waiting/track standing/cycling in circles/practising bunny hops from flat/cycling back for him.
    I know he’s capable of more as he has demonstrated many times but chooses to pootle. Sometimes I say/shout at him ‘Turn those pedals’ ‘ok let’s pick it up a bit’ ‘faster FASTER!’ ‘Go go GO’ and other times when we’re stopped I’ll ask ‘you go as fast as you can all the time and I’ll match you’ but he’ll drop back into pootling speed again.
    So what can I do?

    Don’t say go and ride with a group coz I’ve done that a fair few times and the amount of faff is unbelievable.

    Sui
    Free Member

    oi you fat toss pot, move your ar$e.. generally works, or sitting behind buzzing the tyres making stupid noises…

    toby1
    Full Member

    Cattle prod!

    eyerideit
    Free Member

    Stop mid ride to check his brakes to see if they’re dragging?

    Rip the p1ss out of him if he’s a good mate.

    Ride off and leave him.

    chambord
    Full Member

    Tell him you had sexual intercourse with his other half and cycle off quickly?

    bikerbaboon
    Free Member

    cattle prod

    xterramac
    Free Member

    Shout “strava segment” then hammer off. It seems to be what most people are doing round our way atm

    Piss taking is the way it usually goes in our group.

    mogrim
    Full Member

    Get a bell, and sit on his back wheel ringing it and shouting “come on, grandad!”

    It’s what I do to my mate, anyway 🙂

    hexhamstu
    Free Member

    relentless piss taking.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    employ randoms in VW Golfs to slap him at random points on the ride if he’d going too slow/stopped?

    Northwind
    Full Member

    I’m an orrible **** so I just tell people “****’s sake, hurry up or we’ll never get round”. Or on more than one occasion “Yeah, I’m going to do ride X, you’re welcome to come as long as you don’t ride round it at 2mph, you slow bastard”

    You nice people really undervalue the usefulness of an orrible ****.

    Pyro
    Full Member

    Ride behind him panting and barking at him.

    Worked for me, until someone who knew me crashed because he was laughing too hard at the panting, barking bearded loon on his back wheel.

    soobalias
    Free Member

    ride on your own?

    maxtorque
    Full Member

    1) Get long length of bungy cord
    2) tie between your seat post and his stem
    3) cycle off like loon
    4) he’ll catch up in a bit………

    😉

    (or maybe safer, get a tandem??)

    nwgiles
    Full Member

    soobalias – Member
    ride on your own?

    I say dear fellow steady on…

    ahwiles
    Free Member

    ride a rigid 26er with crap brakes when you’re riding with him.

    it’ll slow you down a bit, AND make it more interesting.

    shortcut
    Full Member

    Dump him.

    Go ride with someone else who maybe thinks you are a bit slow and lazy.

    I can’t believe no one on the forum has had a go at you for being a little bit of a prima ballerina who can’t show some consideration for a ‘friend’ that is up for a social ride. Had it occurred to you he is riding gently because he knows it irritates you.

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    lol@wwaswas, good spot mate. To be fair my mate brad is a well built fella and the punch did nothing to his speed.

    @shortcut, did you miss this bit of my op?

    Tongue in cheek really as he’s a good friend and I’m not really arsed

    singlespeedstu
    Full Member

    I know he’s capable of more as he has demonstrated many times but chooses to pootle

    Maybe he doesn’t really want to ride with you or enjoys seeing you all wound up?
    If he’s a real mate you wouldn’t be bothered.

    5thElefant
    Free Member

    In the group I occasionally ride with the resident axe-murder rides a single-speed to slow himself down. Works a treat.

    matther01
    Free Member

    Make it a competition…last one round buys the pints.

    flippinheckler
    Free Member

    I’m with your mate nowt wrong with pootling and taking in the scenery, he probably sees you getting all twitchy so pootles all the more. Just ride off if your bored with hanging about if he wants to ride with you its up to him to speed up. If I get bored I ride off and then wait if I fancy a snack.

    cbmotorsport
    Free Member

    He is obviously not as awesumz as you is.

    maxtorque
    Full Member

    Perhaps he likes looking at your bottom…………….

    bren2709
    Full Member

    Asking if his brakes are stuck on might be an idea? 😉

    therealhoops
    Free Member

    I’m normally the one at the back by a country mile and it’s not much fun by yourself. I’m trying to get fitter but I lost a lot of time and all my confidence when I smashed my wrist.

    I’ll get there one day.

    Have you tried going for a ride beforehand?

    chakaping
    Full Member

    “It’s not you, it’s me.”

    Doug
    Free Member

    2nd set of wheels with Wet Screams fitted?

    scotroutes
    Full Member

    Are you racing?
    Are you in training for a race?
    Is he?
    If not – what’s the hurry?

    pitduck
    Free Member

    ^^this^^

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    we hava to get back before the sun comes up!

Viewing 33 posts - 1 through 33 (of 33 total)

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