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  • Favourite quotes…
  • noteeth
    Free Member

    Chief Inspector Morse: Isn’t it your round?

    Detective Sergeant Lewis: Do you think another one’s a good idea?

    Chief Inspector Morse: Think? That’s why I want it – to think. I don’t drink for pleasure!

    I often use this as justification.

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    Do you think I’d have pissed my pants if I was sober ?

    I’ve only used it twice

    gordimhor
    Full Member

    Dennis Skinner
    Half the Tory members opposite are crooks.

    He was then told to withdraw the remark.

    OK, half the Tory members aren’t crooks.

    samuri
    Free Member

    Probably just action film ones, shallow that I am.

    I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain… Time to die.

    Listen. Understand. That Terminator is out there. It can’t be reasoned with, it can’t be bargained with. It doesn’t feel pity of remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you are dead.

    And some bicycling ones

    When my legs hurt, I say: “Shut up legs! Do what I tell you to do!”

    And Mark Twain’s
    Get a bicycle. You will certainly not regret it, if you live.

    noteeth
    Free Member

    Half the Tory members opposite are crooks

    Ozzie take:

    When Sir Winton Turnbull [who represented a large rural seat] was raving and ranting on the adjournment and shouted: “I am a Country member”. Gough Whitlam interjected “I remember”. He could not understand why, for the first time in all the years he had been speaking in the House, there was instant and loud applause from both sides.

    tiggs121
    Free Member

    Housework can’t kill you – but why take the chance?

    iwluap
    Free Member

    General Melchett: If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through.

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams sea breams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain… Time to die.

    I always thought it was a slightly odd fishing tale

    A rugby coach being interviwed and sounding qute upbeat when the interviewer pointed out some stats that didn’t really back up what he was saying
    “Well I use statistics like a drunk uses a lampost – for support, not for illumination”

    “Fascinating” – Spock

    gears_suck
    Free Member

    You don’t have to be scared to get your ass kicked.

    passtherizla
    Free Member

    A: “I thought you couldn’t be trapped in boxes?”
    B: “that was a metaphor! this is an actual box”

    zippykona
    Full Member

    To me trying to report someone fraudulently using a disabled driving badge:-
    Them”He may have a disability that is not immediately obvious”
    Me “such as?’
    Them “he might be blind”

    flap_jack
    Free Member

    Which film is that from ? I’ve only heard it as part of the Oakenfold Goa essential mix from 1994, which is my favourite 2 hour turbo music…

    dogtiredandwired
    Free Member

    To try. To fail. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

    Samuel Beckett.

    PS Sorry to raise the tone. 😀

    ElShalimo
    Full Member

    “Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.”
    Churchill

    toys19
    Free Member

    flapjack its blade runner, most of the samples in that mix are from bladerunner- both are excellent

    noteeth
    Free Member

    “It is not down on any map; true places never are” ? Herman Melville, Moby-Dick.

    So screw you, GPS.

    Oakenfold Goa essential mix from 1994

    Fugging great mix! – Dead Can Dance’s Sanvean deployed to maximum effect.

    Onzadog
    Free Member

    My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.

    grahamt1980
    Full Member

    “Religion – Shit it” Stephen Fry

    “Life may suck, but the alternative is unacceptable” No idea who said this one

    crikey
    Free Member

    “We are not here in this world to find elegant solutions, pregnant with initiative, or to serve the ways and modes of profitable progress. No, we are here to provide for all those who are weaker and hungrier, more battered and crippled than ourselves. That is our only certain good and great purpose on earth, and if you ask me about those insoluble economic problems that may arise if the top is deprived of their initiative, I would answer ‘To hell with them.’ The top is greedy and mean and will always find a way to take care of themselves. They always do.”

    Michael Foot.

    Strangely relevant…

    Onzadog
    Free Member

    Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools.

    I like that one, not so sure my boss does.

    garage-dweller
    Full Member

    Probably has more teeth than brain cells

    noteeth
    Free Member

    Strangely relevant…

    Indeed, ICU grand-wallah. Immediately relevant.

    Probably has more teeth than brain cells

    What you sayin’? 😈

    eddiebaby
    Free Member

    Passion turns to poison quick as larger turns to pi!ss

    John Cooper Clarke

    fadda
    Full Member

    “Spent half my money on fast cars and loose women. The other half, I just wasted…”. The incomparable George Best

    yossarian
    Free Member

    ‘All generalisations are dangerous, especially this one.’ Mark Twain

    FeeFoo
    Free Member

    “Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body? I dunno.”
    – Descartes and Mozza.

    houndlegs
    Free Member

    Watch him over there, he’ll have some ****ers eye out.
    King Harold 1066.

    bigblackshed
    Full Member

    “It’s not the winning or even taking part, it’s the arsing about that counts”

    Not sure who, but it’s bloody good advice.

    edlong
    Free Member

    Every rose has its thorn

    – Poison

    deadlydarcy
    Free Member

    The OP will probably know, and if he doesn’t , he won’t be at all surprised:

    Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.

    Torminalis
    Free Member

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx

    scotroutes
    Full Member

    George Robertson (now Baron Robertson of Port Ellen) “Devolution will kill Nationalism stone dead”

    dti
    Full Member

    Those are my principles, if you don’t like them – i have others. GM again

    dannyh
    Free Member

    One that always makes me chuckle is from the unlikely source that is Henry Blofeld. Years ago when commentating on a game in which New Zealand were playing he had cause to mention their player Stephen Cunis. He then said:

    “It’s an odd name, Cunis, neither one thing nor the other”.

    FeeFoo
    Free Member

    “War, war is stupid and people are stupid” – Boy George

    shermer75
    Free Member

    Eskimo

    noteeth
    Free Member

    Amen, DD.

    Economics, said Mr Stanley, is 50% psychology … What we need, apparently, is not statesman but hypnotists, not scientists, but witchdoctors, not confidence born of scientific prediction of the future, but confidence created by a political Confidence Trick.

    Aneurin Bevan, possibly contributing to a STW thread via ouija board. 😉

    dti
    Full Member

    Australian Cricketer ” Gatting – why are you so fat?”

    Gatting ” Because every time I screw your wife I eat a biscuit”

    edlong
    Free Member

    In all seriousness, my absolute favourite quote of recent years is from Ozzy Osbourne:

    I met Tony Blair a couple of years ago, and he said to me, ‘I was in a band once, and I could never get the riff to ‘Iron Man’ right,’I thought, ‘Why are you telling me about ‘Iron Man’ when there’s a war going on?’

    nostoc
    Free Member

    “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too”

    Mitch Hedburg

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