Double decker bus etiquette: get your fat arse upstairs

WTF is wrong with people? If you’re on a double decker bus and you’re able-bodied, you should be upstairs. You should not be plonking your fat arse on the closest seat to the door that you barely managed to waddle through and manspreading your legs into the aisle. Neither should you be standing in the wheelchair bay or in the ****ing aisle in front of the exit doors which is the BUSIEST SQUARE METre on the whole bus!!! And if you are standing there don’t actually surprised when someone wants to get past — foresight is a wonderful power USE IT

Downstairs is basically the zone for old people, sick people, buggies and wheelchairs. There’s not enough space for stupid and lazy people. You should be automatically going upstairs unless you have a good reason not to you stupid ****int lazy cretin morons. Dhdurjdjdjejaksoskeixbdb

😆

Perhaps their glands were dodgy?

A bus – how common.

Why don’t these people just get white audis like everyone else?

You are a bus driver and I claim my £5

Likes…

And you get a 😀

Too..

Enjoy your evening..

I suffer from vertigo….so can’t go upstairs.Unless they install escalators.

The OP seen recently;

7.5/10

Not enough speeling mistaks and ran,Dom punct,uatio.n &

Good use of the swear filter, maybe a FeW more rAndoM CapitAlS.

Not a bad effort all told.

What are you doing on the bus when you could be riding your bike instead?

I thought the top deck of the bus was reserved for rowdy school kids or gangs looking to mug someone…? They were when I was younger…

really – i’ve not been on a double decker for years (low bridges round here so all single deckers) – but it used to be the place for smokers so you stayed downstairs if you didn’t want to breath other people’s smoke and stink. I realise this is probably 20+ years out of date, but I’ve never been aware that I had to go upstairs. I’ll probably stay downstairs though – it sounds like the angry people go upstairs.

Neither should you be standing in the wheelchair bay or in the ****ing aisle in front of the exit doors which is the BUSIEST SQUARE METre on the whole bus!!!

Best not to use one when the schools are loosing because that’s exactly where the kids stand!

But if by chance there happened to be no old people, sick people, buggies and wheelchairs around and everyone else went on the top deck the bus would fall over at the first corner.

Do I get a discount for the cheap seats then?
Not that I go near buses. They stink.

You should be automatically going upstairs unless you have a good reason not to you stupid ****int lazy cretin morons

It’s called freedom of choice thank you very much bus hitler. But thanks for telling us how to live etc.

The only time I’ve ever on buses is when I’m too drunk to really know where I am. So it’s probably me you’re ranting at.
Sorry.

I sit where I choose on a bus. If someone needs a seat more than I, I move. Simple really.

Seriously OP, try mentioning your issue at the time rather than ranting online. Guaranteed to be 100%* more effective.

*According to repeated, robust research. 😉

Perhaps those fat people are also disabled people?

Perhaps they’re just ballast to stop the bus toppling over on the first bend?

Traditionally the top deck is the first to hit a low bridge when the driver gets it wrong. Lower deck for me

Ronnie Pickering lost his licence?

Who?

I sat on the lower deck. Soz-oh.

To be fair the buses round here are usually empty, except for Saturday nights.

It’s called freedom of choice thank you very much

You are literally worse than ISIS.

Is this really a thing? I’ve never heard of that in my life.

It’s just a bus and I’ll sit wherever is most convenient for me, I’m oaying for it after all. I’ll sit in a front seat, but will give it up if someone who needs it comes on.

Find a better rant. Buses are so passe!

You should be automatically going upstairs unless you have a good reason not to you stupid ****int lazy cretin morons

I’ll sit where I like, do one.

When did you start making up bus sitting rules?

I think I have been on a bus about 5 times in the last 4 years, sat downstairs every time. Sticking it to the man! Didn’t realise I was such a rebel.

I agree with the OP, people should sit upstairs. Because it’s more fun! It’s like being a passenger in a house, or depending on the roads it can create a pretty good simulation of Howl’s Moving Castle.

Depends where you are really. My bus goes through longsight and sometimes I’d just rather not get stabbed, it’s really inconvenient.

Yebbbut, what about the fat knife-wielding maniacs who can’t get upstairs either?

Is this really a thing? I’ve never heard of that in my life.

No, really – some buses have an upper level. Or were you referring to fat folk riding on buses…

You don’t really want some fat person blocking the stair way if there was an emergency and everyone was trying to get out quickly – better that they were near the door so everyone could lend a hand pushing their fat arse out of the bus quickly…

Bendy buses ftw. no upstairs. more space for wheelchairs, bikes and those only going 1 stop. and more doors too.

trains are better though.

I presume you’ll sign up for my campaign for wider staircases on buses, kb, so I can fit my fat arse up the stairs?

I’m usually able bodied but just had surgery. Where can I sit next week?

I’ll sit where I like, do one.

It’s that kind of selfish Thatcherite sense of entitlement that’s ruining this country.

Strange, the black buses I use don’t seem to have a top deck old chap…..

I’ll sit where I like, do one.

You are Rosa Parks and I claim my £5