Depressing post – need help, alcohol content.

OP – this is a guess but in a way are you abit depressed that you aren’t somewhere higher/better in life?

Part of me relaxing was learning to accept and enjoy my life. I could have been a millionaire by now. I’m not. I’ve accepted this and how successful I am at work.

I drank until drunk every day for quite a few years.. very often commencing on waking..

I can’t offer any tricks or trade secrets to stopping.. I just cut down, embraced the illness.. cut down some more.. felt ill again and cut down some more.. eventually stopping completely shortly after my first son was born..

for me children and alcohol could not possibly mix, and my partner needed my support..

just think of it as a challenge.. something to battle in order to prove your masculinity to yourself.. because while the booze is calling the shots you are it’s bitch..

I’ve beaten a protracted series of most of the more infamous addictions since my teens.. but I’ve never really been comfortable with authority of any kind.. so whether it be teacher, politician, crack pipe, syringe or bottle dictating how I run my life, I’ve never let it have the upper hand for long..

it’s not easy.. and you will fail again and again and again but what doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger..

what doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger..

Unless it’s an angry sadistic tiger that bites off your arms and legs.

OT: sorry i couldnt resist

My mother died of drink and drugs – but it was other issues that caused her to drink and use drugs.

You need to deal with the cause, otherwise you may stop the drink and replace it with something else.

You will die if you dont.

On a positive note, its good you can admit it.

You will die if you dont.

That is a bit, well, rubbish.

Indeed…he’ll die regardless!

😉

Does sound more like habit/mild dependence than addiction (I am not an expert!)

Wow! Bit overwhelming but all very much appreciated, thanks!

So the general consensus seems to be; go to the doctor and get a liver function test / get referred to specialist group, get up early in the morning and go for a ride, speak to the wife / mates.

All very good advice. the early morning ride thing is the most achievable – my wife has already encouraged me to get up at the same time as her (6am) to do exactly this, so will definitely give it a shot.

Just as a bit of background, the drinking has been on the same level for a few years, so not triggered by imminent fatherhood or any new stressful things. Also, I’m no stranger to addiction – was a (‘high functioning’) smack addict for four years and eventually pulled myself out of the mire, mostly just through pure embarassment and seeing what it did to my family. I know that’ll put a good few off posting any further, but it needs to be said.

Generally, I enjoy my life very much. My job is mostly a lot of fun but also very stressful. I don’t reckon I’m unsatisfied with my lot but yes, there is a constant striving to better it, so maybe I am!

Will certainly have a read of the Allan Carr book (tried his smoking one which did nothing for me though).

NZCol – trying to cut down drinking whilst part-owning a brewery must be hard work!

Thanks for all the advice – I’m just sick and tired of being a piss head and being unable to sort myself out. Hopefully some of the advice on here will help.

I was in a similar position last year. Went to the GP, had a liver function test (all OK thankfully) and was given a referral letter to an alcohol charity. I gave up completely for 9 months drinking pints of sparkling water insetad of beer or wine in the evening. The letter was my back stop – every time I thought about drinking I thought about the letter and didn’t. The key for me was realising that I didn’t want to be drunk – it’s boring.

Best of luck and if you want to tlak just email me.

I could have been a millionaire by now. I’m not.

We all have that same feeling when checking our lottery numbers Hora 😉

Blimey! damnyoureyes! I know whats coming now: The various “If you’ve managed to get off the brown, then the booze should be easy” comments

It doesn’t work like that though, does it. I drink a lot. Too much. And have done for years. A lot of people I know are the same. The one thing we all have in common is that we had years of hitting the recreational pharmaceuticals pretty damn hard when younger. When you stop, which everyone eventually does, the booze is a legal, socially acceptable substitute. And it’s just too easy to slip drinking to excess. That’s my theory anyway.

Good luck with it!

I find that I have to do one of the following three things:

1. Drink
2. Smoke
3. Take other drugs

I have managed to stop 2 and 3 plus cut 1 down a lot (from 5 nights a week to 2), but it is difficult unlearning old habits and finding new healthy ways to stimulate myself.

Keep us posted with how you are getting on and use this thread as a kind of blog.

I didn’t want it anyway. Lisa did though 😆

DYE – where are you, why not see if there are other STW’s who’d be happy to meet up for day-time rides?

Definately get professional help, as it sounds like you have an addictive personality, you don’t want to get off the booze and end up with some other form of addiction.

….mind you once baby comes along you will be too tired and not have any spare time for anything else 😆

On a serious note though, babies are very hard work, speak to Mrs Damn now about booking time to go out on your bike. It might not happen for the first few months, but try and build it in soon enough as you will need some release/change of scenery. Oh and offer the same to Mrs Damn

Drink is adictive and I think more people have a problem than like to admit it.

I would suggest just stopping completely. Hard at first, but the longer it goes on the less you want it. After quite some time, you rarely actually want to drink rather than actively having to resist an urge.

The problem with cutting down is it seems like a good idea until you’ve had a few plus the urge will still be there.

I never got to the stage you describe, but get drunk easily and have terrible hangovers. Plus used to go (for me) too far quite often. Believe me when I say life is less complicated without booze, you don’t feel the need, have more cash, feel better generally and no hangovers.

OP, admitting there is a problem is a good sign.

4 years dry now and no AA, kids was the turning point & motavator for me too.

It is very easy to drink at home every night, I have to make a real conscious effort to force myself to take a night or two off each week. Perhaps that could be a good initial aim, be alcohol free for one night a week and work up from there? Get some interesting soft drinks in so you have something different to drink and just have one night a week off. It would be a start. Good luck, don’t be too hard on yourself drinking every night is an easy habit to get into and difficult to stop.

If you dont want to go to the docs , and want to try to help yourself first try a few simple things .
Never have any alcohol in the house / garage etc .
Always have a huge supply of alternatives , juices, teas , coffee, smoothies etc . Anything that you can drink in a reasonable volume .
Never drink on a work night .
Never drink before a bike ride .
Drink some High 5 zero after a reasonable ride so you dont feel dehydrated and want a ‘drink’
As your misses isnt drinking then joining her should be easier .

mind you once baby comes along you will be too tired and not have any spare time for anything else

Unless he becomes addicted to fatherhood.

Interesting all these posts about stopping drinking when becoming a father – I have started to drink more regularly since becoming a dad. Although I was a classic ‘binge’ drinker before – 6-8 pints every Friday and Saturday, a bottle of wine (or more) on a Sunday. Now I just have a couple of beers (small bottles) every night so equivalent to about 1.5 pints a night. Still have the occasional night out when I drink more, but I don’t go out all the time like I used to.

Just wanted to say thanks for all the suport and advice and give a quick update.

Happy to report that I’ve had a booze-free couple of weeks, and have also managed to kick the tabs. hopefully, I caught it at the right time and it was just a (very) bad habit, rather than a full blown reliance. There’s always the possibility that I’ll relapse and I’ll do my utmost to stop that happening.

I don’t doubt that there are those who identified with the OP and also had to have a word with themselves – best of luck to the silent readers.

If you are one of them, I can highly recommend ridiculously early alarm calls followed shortly thereafter by a large bowl of porridge and a quick blast through the local woods with the dog / on your bike.

I’ve only just seen this, but really pleased to hear that you’re taking the first few steps. As a complete non-expert, I would say it is a case of taking it a few steps at a time; there’s no ‘cure’, but more just a couple of days, then a couple more days and so on.

The other thing that jumped out at me was the OP saying that he rides ‘to punish himself’, and it sounded kinda wrong. For me, again as a non-expert, riding’s about the enjoyment – it’s the highpoint of a p*ss poor week, or a really boring month. That feeling of nailing a tricky berm at speed, or the swoosh as your back wheel just kicks out perfectly round a tight bend – that’s better than any alcohol, and while it may not help me sleep, it gives me enough of a rush to endure another tedious week, raring to get out again asap. If you’re doing it just as a functional ‘I need to wear myself out’ thing, and missing the endorphin rush, I’m not sure it helps as much!

No proper advice to you OP but I hope you get yourself sorted out before things get worse. Good luck man.

OP, from your forum name I guess you’re a Cash fan?

8)

Sorry to say this but my best mate, a very popular bloke, drank himself to death at 45. He wasn’t a regular drinker but he used to binge and get slaughtered at weekends. His death has left a huge hole in my life, all his friends’ and family’s lives and of course his wife and son who was about 2 years old when his Dad died. Ask yourself if you want to head in the same direction.