1. Wearing Crocs in public is a crime against fashion and thats just for starters. Other people who wear Crocs are the perennial low-hanging piñatas upon which self-styled style gurus may whack themselves into a scoffing, self-righteous snorting lather.
2. Crocs are like kryptonite to those whose self-regard hinges upon style and status.
3. Crocs offer an occult level of comfort to the feet whilst simultaneously marking the wearer as ‘deficient’ in some way.
4. Crocs are for nurses no-one else has either need of such comfort or occupational disregard for such style suicide.
5. Crocs are for children and/or clown-persons
6. Nothing says ‘I’m alone’ like a man in Crocs
7. Nothing says ‘Married with kids’ like a man in Crocs
8. Nothing says ‘generic, passive and gender-neutral’ like a family in Crocs*
Who knew that mass-produced foamy super-slippers would become a double-reflective phenomena. A perfectly calibrated two-way psychological mirror?
*Except for that family wearing knock-off pseudo-Crocs.