Conservatives are door-knocking in my street: suggest me something great to say!

as above: already quite sure i am not voting for them despite here being a pretty safe tory seat. Shall I open the door and if so what should I say?

**** off Jehovahs witness?

You've got my vote, I'm a **** too

Why does your leader spend his time insulting Gordon Brown instead of being constructive?

hmmm… they seem to be heading away from my end of the street now. Did my hammer and sickle deter them from knocking?

Ask them who they're voting for, always confuses them for a second.

Poo in your hand, and throw it in their face.

"call me dave"

Answer the door with 2 huge kitchen knives in your hands. Offer one to the door knocker and shout in a loud manic voice 'Lets go and kill some lefty scum!!!!!!'

Ask what they have promised to Rupert..

or.. as per wot raveydavey said but tear off your shirt, put some minor scratches on your chest and demand that you can only be won over in single handed to the death combat.

ask them about their policies? it probably wouldn't hurt to make an informed choice as to who to vote for

ask them about their policies

Heh! That'll get rid of 'em quickly! 😆

I answered the door many years ago to some Labour canvassers, 8am on a friggin Sunday. Slightly the worse for wear I threw on a T-shirt and answered the door. Two people a youg guy and a young girl. The guy did the talking while the girl stood behind behind him apparently in shock, wide eyed and open mouth. We finished and I went back inside, that was when something caught my eye in a mirror.

T-shirt had F*** Dancing, Let's F*** in 4" letters across the chest!! Last canvassers that year.

not voting for them despite here being a pretty safe tory seat.

Does that mean you might vote Tory if it was a marginal??

They came to ours the other day and delivered blurb on the wrong candidate – there've been constituency boundary changes that they obviously haven't caught up with.
🙄

DUCK and HOUSE!

Answer the door stark bollock naked, save for a balaclava and a pair of wellington boots. Invite them in for a cup of tea..

Before going postal and killing the lefty scum cut your wrist and make him do the same so your wrists can be bound in a traditional apache blood brother ritual.

you should say "pi$$ off its my mrs birthday"

happy birthday mrs wilson!!! did you get the card?

invite them in then start undressing and watch them run!

Ask them if its true they're gonna start re-opening the coal mines

ask them what they are doing for cyclists.

You'll confuse them more than they've ever been confused before. Or you might get some useful information. win win either way.

not voting for them despite here being a pretty safe tory seat.

Does that mean you might vote Tory if it was a marginal??

oh goodness, that came out all wrong. What I meant to say was that it probably doesn't matter who I vote for as the rather popular conservative MP we have will most likely win his seat again. I have worked for the NHS for 11 years, and it would take some kind of 'speedboats for all nurses' manifesto to get me wanting the conservatives back in!

My wife was telling our kids never to talk to strangers, and to be especially wary of ones with blue ribbons. They spotted some in the street and yowled to/pointed at them from the upstairs window as I was starting this thread. I wondered what the noise was about!

" i always vote for you, who ever you are!"

Oh thank goodness, I realised you werent the Labour party as they are too busy raping our country to come down here.

ask them:

'why so much hate?'

If they say

"I'm more of a conservative with a small c"

Reply

"You're certainly something with a small c"

😆

Thank them for not being New Labour. Then ask them what the difference actually is.

Download The Red Flag and ask them to sing along with you.

Assuming you are not married ask them why you should be subsidising a tax break for people who are?
Ask them if they really think that this will make people who can't or don't want to marry suddenly get married?

I'd ask them whether they agreed with Devil worship & invite them in to look at your altar

Or, do what by mam did many years ago & to try & get rid of them – she told them she couldn't get out to the polling station as there was no one to look after the kids
On election day, they sent a car for her & a baby-sitter
She did however, vote Labour 😀

I liked to waste their time by pretending I was a floating voter and asking them to explain things to me. Europe and Immigration in particualr make them squirm ..be a bit racist watch them tentatively agree with you always amusing that one. Perhaps mention gypsies etc. I then act a bit dumb as if I dont understand their policies and get them to talk for as long as possible. I then subscibe to their mailing lists and ask for their manifesto. I then ring them up to ask more questions and to see if someone could pop round to explain things.
Costs them money and time … I view it as a civic duty to protect other citizens from them.

My wife's Nana always used to ask the Conservatives for a lift to the polling station. They always obliged, and she always voted Labour! Democracy in action…

my mate (greens – dont ask) recently did quite a lot of canvassing. including going round on polling day and knocking on the doors of people who said they would vote green, but had yet to show up at the polling station.

i thought it was well out of order personally, and would have told him to eff off had it been me getting knocked on.

is this normal practice?

If you want the junkyard approach try human rights act. callmedaves policy on this is impossible to implement. should be good for a debate.

Dont say anything to start off with, just;

Open the door with a frunt kick to the face!!!

Then say open footpaths to mountinbikers….

Then slam the door shut.

Probably a bit aggressive but it would be funny hehe.