Best Headline ever?

Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaults ex-girlfriend after waving at man dressed as Snickers bar

man-embarassed-by-small-penis-secretly-gets-brother-to-sleep-with -girlfriend [/url]

😆

The Times, 1957.

"Heavy Fog In Channel – Continent Cut Off"

SuperCaleyGoBallisticCelticAreAtrocious

Back page sports headline from a number of years ago when a top-flight Scottish team were knocked out of a cup competition (again) by a lower league outfit, in this case Inverness Caledonian Thistle.
For what it's worth, I am a Celtic fan, and I did laugh at that headline. It was genius, of sorts.

There was a wee local paper in Glasgow which during the Monica Lewinski debacle ran the headline "Clinton Accused of Shirtlifting" a story of a guy called Bill Clinton from Pollokshields who was standing trial for stealing two shirts and a jacket from a charity shop.

German throws puppy at Hells Angels bikers then flees on bulldozer

from my local rag

they ran a story the next week about her neighbour confessing to feeding the beast corn beef sandwiches 😆

"Freddie Starr ate my hampster"

Naomi Campbell to appear in war crimes trial[/url]

Both Woody2000s and Yoss's just caused a keyboard/coffee incident…!

Queen at Knebworth, 1986.

Oh……

TWO SEPERATE HEADLINES ON SAME FRONT PAGE-

ARMS FLOWN TO NIGERIA

TRAVEL TO FRANCE ON LAST LEGS

Young Boys Wankdorf Erection Woe

link to nsfw headline

'Sniper kills another cat'

'Man found dead'

both Falmouth Packet 2007

Yesterday's "front page" post was teh funneh.

'Gone Denver'

The Sun when John Denver's plane went down.

Who is John Denver?

Who is John Denver?

A dead singer. Drug overdose I think.

Sunday Sport reporting the death of fashion designer Gianni Versace who was shot dead…

"Shoots you Sir"

Redskins Squeeze Out Browns – NFL

When Michael Foot became chairperson or something of CND:

Foot heads arms body

And another one last year, when Ryanair mooted the idea of customers being charged to use the bogs during flights:

Ryanair: Slashes Priced

BBC this week: No rain puts Eigg on toast watch

"Crematorium on fire"

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8252181.Crematorium_on_fire/%5B/url%5D

let's hope no one gets badly burnt…

Truly some brilliant ones here. The only one I can add is:

"Dyke to head BBC"

At the time I didn't think that sexual orientation was particularly relevant in terms of being qualified for the role of Director General of the BBC. Now I am not so sure….

I think beanum wins.

"Crematorium on fire"

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8252181.Crematorium_on_fire/

let's hope no one gets badly burnt…

Aye I've been to similar at our the local crem. the "Stop" went back as controlled burning.

From a few years ago, when Michael Jackson edged out Boyzone for some sort of music award:

"Boyzone Beaten Off by Jacko" 😯

IIRC, it was a headline on the Evening Standard website & was posted here on STW – before being rapidly removed from the E.S. site 😆

The day after the Twin Towers attacks, 9/11 …. Pretty sure the Daily Sport ran the headline 'Lorraine kelly Naked' …. Brill 😀

Who is John Denver?

A dead singer. Drug overdose I think.

No. He lost control of a light aircraft.

Queen in Scrap at Palace

A footballer called Queen had a fight during a match at Crystal Palace.

The best ever :

From the Wanstead Guardian

"WANSTEAD: Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle's cat takes up residence with pensioner"

Details here[/url]

Dastardly.

Love some of those.

Although it's not in the same class – the one I'm most proud of writing was on a story about a biography claiming that Jimi Hendrix had pretended to be sexually attracted to his male bunkmate in order to get out of the army.

"Excuse me while I kiss this guy"

The best I managed in my brief career as a sports sub-editor was when Rangers' owner David Murray was moved to warn the Dutch FA against an approach for the club's then manager Dick Advocaat.:

HANDS OFF DICK, MURRAY TELLS DUTCH

Probably subliminally inspired by the Sun's memorable take on Graeme Souness signing West Ham full-back Julian Dicks for Liverpool:

SOUNESS GRABS DICKS

very funny!

Winchester and Mid Hants Observer (I think.. sometime back in 2005):

In response to a planning enquiry over a new mobile phone mast…

"New Erection Sparks Mast-Debate"

Seagull flies off with cat in beak
As mentioned on the Radio 4 Now Show last year.