Bad name-dropping

What can I say, the lady’s got a good grip….. My mum has the picture at home on her fridge. I got in some trouble for that shot when her people worked out why I was looking so smug.

If we’re going for bad ones, my mum used to go out with some singer/songwriter called Steve Harley, but she left him for my dad.

I have treated several Z list celebrities. Including one with a strained testicle who was loudly demanding special attention!

My primary school best mates dad wrote Quadraphenia

but most exciting of all, I met Brant Richards once and he said my bike was heavy.

Dated the niece of Richard Wilson

My Ex Bro in Law was mates with the boyfriend of the keyboard player in Pulp so we got VIP passes for a after gig party in Sheff and I let Jarvis through our crowd and he said thanks

Used to work in cycle shop and Hugh Porter was a rep and would come in and talk about how great he was, Barry Hoban would come in to take orders for his bikes and just chatted summed up their personalities even to a young 16 year old lad

Jimmy Saville patted my eldest lads head in a furniture shop in Scarborough

Current Bro in law is a chef and mates with Michael Vaughan and Lee Westwood who come into the restaurant on a frequent basis

Well – I often pass Tom Kitchin in my stairway, I met Thin Lizzy in 1976,
I have met Magnuss Magnusson, Sean Lineen used to buy his sandwiches in my local Deli, I didn’t recognised Sammy McIlroy when he came to visit his mum ( 80s footballer), Joel Garner stayed overnight in the hospital I worked in – we had to extend the bed.

Edwina has a consumate grip on the downtube of that Handjob! 😆

Has to be worth a fortune does that pic!

I spilled Martin Offia’s* Pint in Ikon….

* (sic? Wigan rugby ace)

I have insulted most of the Bolton Wonderers squad in the same place.
Most memorable, many years back, Fabian Defreatas..
Me “You’re Sh*t.”
FD “Cheers mate”

I sold Barry Macguigan a coffee
I made Vic Reeves laugh
I got Noel Edmods autograph because I was stoned and thought it was funny.

Edwina has a consumate grip on the downtube of that Handjob!

Has to be worth a fortune does that pic!

I bet John Major has a picture to top mine

i tried to shake jeremy beadles bad hand at a charity craft sale… i genuinely didnt realise he had a bad hand and was quite offended he didnt take part in my politely offered handshake!

he hid it so well on YBF!

Talking of Ken Morley..
My mates dog bit his arse when Ken Morley tried to break in to his scrapyard… It made the papers and everything! 😯

Sarah Ferguson came to see my etchings.

I did an album cover for Holly Johnson.

Peter Gabriel bought a picture.

David Bowie spewed in a cupboard in my flat.

Paul Rutherford is on me FB list, but hes not a mate, he’s a mate of a mate…

yamyamblade – Member

Jimmy Saville patted my eldest lads head in a furniture shop in Scarborough

There’s got to be a euphemism in there somewhere… 😉

I once asked Paula Yates out for lunch

You really dont wanna know what a school friend of mine did to Sahra Cox, when her dad owned a pub on Blackburn Rd.. Over the pool table too….

Phil Phil Phil… Small world my sister lives a few houses down from Martin Clunes, we were walking her dogs and bumped into him, my sisters black lab sniffed his White fluffy dogs bum, Martin was very polite about it. Same sister delivered the baby to the sister of Tris Payne who used to co present house doctor.

My girlfriends mum used to own a holiday villa next door to Sir Cliff Richard’s villa and vineyard in Portugal, he still keeps in touch and sends a Christmas card, and apparently isn’t gay. She now owns a Villa in a secret location 4 villas away from Valentino Rossi.

I’ve served Cherys from Catatonia, most of holyoakes circa 2003 cast and met many music folk inc Dani Minogue.

Chris Evans and Jeremy Clarkson bought me a pint a few years back.

Sir Bobby Robson once asked me where the nearest loo was. No, I wasn’t working as a cloakroom attendant.

I was in the next seat to Gary Barlow a month back on a trip to Miami.

(Getting deperate now)
Jake Burns told me he liked my T-shirt

Sharon Davis asked for my autograph and phone number, I duly obliged.

I played golf with Kris Akibussi and Steve Redgrave, I played pool against Boris Becker.

I filmed an TV advert with Elle MacPherson for Little Red Rooster

My lbs ex-employer used to hire bikes to Ronnie Corbett!

I’d thought they’d have been more likely to lower them.

I met and had a coffee with Robert Millar, and he said he liked my shoes.

I once bumped into Mike Dirnt from Green Day whilst shoe shopping in Bangkok.

i once met someone who claimed to know Sheldon Attwood……………
.
.
.
but i suspect they were telling porkies

Ive been in kate moss’s bedroom and sat on her bed 😀

I once gate crashed a jazz concert and sat behind Phil Collins. In New York!

My brother claimed to have offered to buy Phil Lynott a beer. But I think he was unsuccessful.

Ian Hislop used to get my train into work.

(These are really desperate, aren’t they?).

The Southern Yeti – Member
Surely none of those mentioned above are bad names…

Where are the stories about spending your childhood with Jonathon King?
Dining out with Jeffery Dahmer?
Helping Hitler with the housework?

OK then TSY how about this-
I was on an oil rig about 10 years ago with a bunch of lads and we were sat talking about serial killers (as you do). Turns out one of the lads in the room’s uncle was murdered by Dennis Nilsen in London.
Another one of the guys in the room’s uncle WAS Nilsen.
I know this sounds unbelieveable but apparantly it’s true- Nilsen was originally from Peterhead.
How’s that for a macabre coincidence

mum used to go out with some singer/songwriter called Steve Harley

Meehaja- is your Dad the Cockney Rebel?

I once went out with a girl who used to live next door to Gerry Rafferty.

My other half’s sister’s other half’s cousin is Eddie Mair.

I’ve got drunk with some Scottish rugby internationalists.

Jo Caulfield (comedienne) once laughed loudly on radio at a joke I’d written.

yamyamblade – Member
Dated the niece of Richard Wilson

I don’t believe it

IGMC

Nearly had a scrap with Goldie in Northumbria Uni.

Got MC Moose into such a state that he had to be carried into a taxi for a 7am flight back to back to London

I told Graham Obree he couldn’t ride pillion when I rode a motorbike into mountains in Columbia on an unofficial wee day trip – one of my few regrets in life.

Maggie Philbin (of swap shop fame) used to babysit me and my sister when we were really little.

RV – Member
I once got a Hand Job from Edwina Curry!

Is that Chelmer Cycles?

I’ve flown on the same plane as Steve Redgrave (at the same time)!

Pah! Raced against him in eights, and our crew didn’t beat his. Also beaten by the Olympic crew of the time… 😥 Met Matthew Pinsent.

Spoke to Tom Baker of Dr Who fame for about 20 mins after he wronlgy dialled our office instead of Chichester theatre, luvvy.

Dated and still friends with the daughter of a professional footballer.

Took the girlfriend from either theworld championor Argentinian champion of padel and taught Alberto Piñon world padel champion.

My rider nearly knocked Paco Mancebo off his bike in an individual time trial a couple of years ago. 😳 Not a problem, he was still speaking to me afterwards. 🙄

Met Prince Charles, and he is a pr1ck!

Etc, etc.

About 10 years prior to coming third in the second series of big brother, Dean off of big brother used to come round to my student house. Usually with a guitar, sometimes with a copy of his bands new album or single, or a flyer or to tell us about his latest review in NME (bad ones typically). After several months it dawned on us that non of us actually knew him, we all thought he must be a friend of one of the others, we’ve no idea why he used to come round or who he was coming to see.

I know how Rennie Zellwegger likes her eggs in the morning

Magnus Magnusson call my workplace, asking to speak to me personally, then after a chat about some preparatory sketches for a pre-raphaelite mural, included me in the credits of one his books

Bono re-pointed my chimney

The Edge put an RSJ in my basement

I’ve recieved an email from Annie Nightingale.. (it said ‘toot toot’)
Carl Cox accidentally knocked me to the floor when I stumbled into his large belly..
I startled Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall by offering him help when he looked lost and confused outside Exeter Central station.. causing him to bleat panic stricken into his moblie phone at his PA to ‘hurry up and get him out of here’..
I saw Banksy last month..
I saw a celeb who’s name and fame I cannot pinpoint.. (Elvis Costello possibly) at a party in the summer.. the guy was pretty out of it and had a small entourage who were all finding it hilarious to refer to him as ‘dave’ all night..

that is all

Pah! Raced against him in eights, and our crew didn’t beat his. Also beaten by the Olympic crew of the time… Met Matthew Pinsent.

Double pah! Raced them at GB trials ( though they won which no doubt was a relief to them 😉 ) and even clashed blades…

Have actually met him a few times too and had a decent chat. Pinsent was there too which was interesting since we’re all the same height and yet I felt very scrawny next to them.

Bike related, I had a discussion with the guy who plays the butler in Fresh Prince of Bel Air about road clipless pedals when I was working at on your bike in Harrods. Turns out he’s quite a keen roadie.

I served chips to “kim tate2 off emmerdale and mike from mike and the mechanics..