Am I the only person in this bloody house who can…

Close doors rather than slam them.

ARGGGHHH!!!!!

I swear my kids must weigh the same as small elephants the way they thump around the house.

Add changing the toilet roll to that list. Emptying the bins, stick that on the ARGGGGGHHHH list too.

Stack the dishwasher efficiently?

Turn lights off?

Clear the residue out of breakfast bowls before abandoning them for 7 hours?

Plug the iPad in to charge?

Make a single portion of porridge without using two bowls, a cup and about five spoons?

I empathise deeply. See also: car doors, tailgate – how anyone who is the daughter of a mechanic can elicit so little mechanical sympathy is beyond me…

..load the dishwasher.

Take empty loo rolls, empty shower gel/shampoo bottles, etc downstairs for recycling when the matter-transporting windowsill is offline
Take things upstairs rather than leave them on the third stair
Crush high-volume containers so that the recycling bin isn’t full within two days and pull the net cover out before dumping recycling in…aaaargh!

The sink diswasher interface has never worked.

The self cleaning shower drain is also broken.

The hoover is invisible.

Hang clothes up/put clothes away?

Daughter borrowed my coat, I couldn’t find the coat when I needed it a couple of days later…Found it thrown on the floor of her bedroom with the random selection of clean and dirty clothes that is her Floordrobe!

… storm off to the shed after an argument.

Oh. Erm…

I mean, use a sauce bottle or toothpaste without leaving half of it around the lid?

…put the loo roll on the holder the correct way around.

In our house, it’s ‘Open doors quietly’ rather than ‘Close them without slamming’ that seems to be the challenge. Usually with regard to the bathroom door, and almost invariably at about 00:15 when I’m fast asleep.
Oh, and also on the subject of mechanical sympathy – if you want to move the coffee table a foot or two further away from you, just push hard on the legs nearest you. That way the strain of the resistance from the carpet goes up the legs, into the nearest joints, across the upper and also into the furthest joints. It’s soooooo much easier than just lifting the ruddy thing.
Understand the concept of ‘In the way’ when it comes to chairs, laundry basket, shopping bags etc.
Loading dishwasher – don’t get me started on that one.

I gave up worrying that other folks were going to have the same expectations that I had about this sort of shit, and made peace with the fact that if I wanted the dishwasher emptied (for example) I pretty much had to do it myself. Life’s much much more pleasant that way.

I hate cleaning though, which is why when I moved out, the very first thing i did in my crappy apartment was to get a cleaner.

Open the curtains and turn off the lights.

Flush the loo after number two pays a visit.

Shut the front door behind them.

Floordrobe

Don’t go there. I live in a floordrobe. The entire bloody house. Drives me insane. Causes injuries.

Also combined with leaving important items (keys, phone, wallet) in said clothes.

Cue every-other-day searches of around 1000 different items of clothing randomly distributed around the house sized floordrobe.

Some of us humans apparently don’t get the massive time saver that is “leaving things in the designated place for the things to order to avoid losing the things”.

….walk the dog

…squeeze the correct end of the toothpaste tube?

For clarity, this is the end furthest from the hole. Why anyone squeezes the top end is beyond me, it just makes everything more difficult. Grrr.

Plug the iPad in to charge?

Don’t all devices charge themselves by some kind of osmosis? It seems I’m the only person in the house who doesn’t think so

Add to that the multitude of power banks, all flat

I have nothing fresh to add to this thread, however i will be using it as evidence that it isn’t “Just me”.

Pick dog poo off of bike tyres. My 11 year old came back in the house this morning to tell me he’d ridden through poo. Fortunately we both had enough time that I could deliver a lesson in how to pick poo off your bike tyre.

Pick up dog poo in the garden. Helps avoid the need for point 1!

Close doors rather than slam them.

That’s a luxury, i just want them to learn to close doors, and i include the fridge/freezer in that 😂

Screw the lids back on jars properly so the next poor sucker who picks them up out of a crowded shelf by the lid doesn’t drop a full jar of marmite all over the frikkin floor and have to spend the next half hour wiping it up and getting stabbed by marmitey shards of glass?! 🙄

Fact- Marmite hurts when it enters the bloodstream.

All of the above, but we use a Pos/Neg jobs list to promote some of these, which amounts to pocket money e.g.

-Loading the dishwasher = 20p
-Polishing school shoes = 10p
-leaving a light on = -10p
-answering back inappropriately = -10p
-bedroom tidy with bed made by 5pm Saturday = 50p

…and so one. Our eldest is learning and currently earning about £25 a month.

Doesn’t stop my wife turning the understairs cupboard light off though.

I live alone so don’t have to deal with this kind of thing. However I do see to be in the minority at work when it comes to turning taps off in the men’s toilet.

Get Marmite out of the jar without dribbling it all round the thread and the rest of the jar

Understand that a door needs a space to open into. The females in this household have yet to grasp this concept after years of being reminded!😀

Some of us humans apparently don’t get the massive time saver that is “leaving things in the designated place for the things to order to avoid losing the things”.

This is my partner. She hates mess. Fair enough, I can get behind this. But her solution is to randomly stuff things in the nearest available drawer or cupboard “for now” and then deny all knowledge that she’s done so. I’ve worn the same three tee-shirts on rotation for the last month because I’m ****ed if I know where the rest of them are.

Random example, we had a baby shower a few weeks ago for her heavily pregnant daughter. Part of the afternoon’s entertainment was a quiz which necessitated someone bringing a 50-pack of pens. The next day I found the remaining pens in the cutlery drawer with the teaspoons. Why? Why would you do this to me?! We have an actual dedicated stationery drawer (which contains pens, notepaper, sticky tape, drawing pins… and the bottom of her handbag, loose tissues, one disposable glove, junk mail, dog treats* and whatever else happened to be in the vicinity and wasn’t nailed down) not three metres away.

I get it, I do, she’s been ‘mum’ for most of her adult life, tidying up after a pair of scruffbags. I’m not always the neatest of people but generally if I leave something out it’s for a reason, usually to remind me that I need to do something with it. Before now I’ve got a glass out to get a drink, gone to get the pop out of the fridge and then got back to the counter to find the glass has disappeared. It drives me insane.

(* – we don’t have a dog)

Fact- Marmite hurts when it enters the bloodstream.

Treat the cut with an anti-fungal. You wouldn’t want a yeast infection.

But her solution is to randomly stuff things in the nearest available drawer or cupboard “for now”

We always had the one ‘messy’ drawer for the random crap which worked very well.  If something small didn’t have a place then that’s where it would go.

We now have four or five random messy drawers around the house.  The point has been somewhat lost.

All of the above, but we use a Pos/Neg jobs list to promote some of these, which amounts to pocket money e.g.

-Loading the dishwasher = 20p
-Polishing school shoes = 10p
-leaving a light on = -10p
-answering back inappropriately = -10p
-bedroom tidy with bed made by 5pm Saturday = 50p

…and so one. Our eldest is learning and currently earning about £25 a month.

Doesn’t stop my wife turning the understairs cupboard light off though.

borderline genius

loses points for being potentially expensive!

But her solution is to randomly stuff things in the nearest available drawer or cupboard “for now” and then deny all knowledge that she’s done so

this also is not “leaving things in the designated place for the things to order to avoid losing the things”

But her solution is to randomly stuff things in the nearest available drawer or cupboard “for now” and then deny all knowledge that she’s done so.

Oh, this is my mother.
I was actually expecting this cos it’s what my grandparents used to class as “tidying” which involved moving one pile of clutter to a new location or sometimes splitting said pile of clutter into several smaller piles.

My Mum now does exactly this, she’s on a sort of never-ending mission around the house moving shite from one place to another “for now”.
Oh just put it there for now, I’ll deal with it in a minute.
Oh just leave that there for now, the neighbour can take it to the tip when he next goes.

My wife is 52 and still hasn’t realised that doors can be closed as well as opened and that lights can be turned off as well as on. It drives me mad.

loses points for being potentially expensive!

He’s 13, so “answering back inappropriately” features quite highly…

I jest, he’s pretty good and I don’t mind rewarding good jobs / communicating money is earned rather than given. The scale is within your control of course!

Take clothes off inside-in, how difficult is it? I don’t mind putting on a load of washing but trying to unfurl a tight ball of my son’s smelly socks or a pair of trousers with one leg the right way and the other inside-out is not part of the job description. See also my wife who manages to take off leggings, underwear and socks in one go leaving an inside-in/inside-out tangle that would give Houdini nightmares!

Ah door slammer syndrome.

Almost as bad as opening windows when it’s warm instead of turning the heating off.

Had a car that needed the trim repairing after plastic fittings broke due to someone repeatedly slamming it everyday. All other doors were fine. Politely asked them to ge easy on the door and made up a story about it being loose. He kept slamming it so I stopped offering them a lift to work after that.

Ooh, I just thought of another one…
Keep the door in the utility room closed when the heating is on. Cos that’s where the thermostat is, and it spends its time telling the boiler to heat the flippin garden.

But her solution is to randomly stuff things in the nearest available drawer or cupboard “for now” and then deny all knowledge that she’s done so.

I’ve got one of those. See also putting things away with the ones you use all the time buried under a load of stuff we haven’t used in 20 years.

Pee standing up in to a toilet.

+1 for many of the above, including lights left on.

Conversely…

Our kitchen has a light switch by the door to the dining room, but not by the outside door, meaning that if you come in at night you have to grope across the room to switch the light on. Solution: a kitchen light with a PIR sensor. Job jobbed.

Or so you would think. Now I walk into the dark kitchen from the dining room and get three paces in before having to turn around and grope for the switch which has mysteriously been turned off! >:-(

My kids used to play this clipto their friends and ask them to guess who it was.The answer was “It’s our Dad looking in the dishwasher” . 🙂

Pee standing up in to a toilet

Drac,don’t be too hard on Oscar 🤣🤣

I don’t mind putting on a load of washing but trying to unfurl a tight ball of my son’s smelly socks or a pair of trousers with one leg the right way and the other inside-out is not part of the job description.

My approach here is, it it’s in the laundry basket then it’s ready to be laundered. If your socks are a ball or you’ve left a tenner in your back pocket then too bad, you should’ve checked.