A nice Friday thread – your tenuous claims to fame…

Cubist wins it.

My dad did some security installation work on Roy Chubby Brown’s house.

Regularly servered Eric Bristow when I used to work behind the bar in a pub. His ‘driver’ used to bring him in his old roller. Waving £50 notes did not get him served any quicker, and I always used to make a show of checking them.

Once shared the same plane back from Dubai with Ronnie Corbett and his missus. They where in the posh bit up front where you get free drinks and stuff.

Jonny Dawes ‘stole’ my seat at a climbing comp in Leeds back in ’89. Being a star struck 15 yr I didn’t say anything.

Met Ari Vatanen when spannering on a Rally Raid event in Dubai (possobly the same year as the Ronnie incident above). Ari was driving for a pro team who had same sponsor, said sponsor arranged for Ari to come over for a chat. Primarily to the driver/co-driver, but us lowly spanner monkeys still got say hi.

The back of my head and left ear appeared on the local tv programme ‘Counterpoint’

Pierced Sean Goff’s nipple with a safety pin

Once held the record for the highest score for Asteroids on the Atari console

Appeared in the David Holmes vid for ‘Slash the Seats’

Held the UK record for the longest field goal and most interceptions in one season (American football)

Played football for six years with Mickey O’Neill (N.I manager and former Newcastle player)

My dad was on the news – he was the last person to leave the Michelin factory in Mallusk when it closed

Unofficially* held the world record for most front hops on a bmx (* at the time the official record was 52 and i did 116 at a demo)

Got a ‘Castella wink’ from Russ Abbot outside Harrods when i called him Russ **** Abbot.

Met Bill Hicks in a shop – we were wearing the same jacket. He was buying smokes and i was buying cheese.

Snogged Jade Jagger at a party

More than snogged Miki from Lush

Ex girlfriends dad co wrote wrote Brazil, Jaberwocky, Time Bandits and loads of Monty Python sketches. She was one of the children in the ‘Every Sperm is Sacred’ song in Meaning of Life

One of my mates is married to Max Sebalds daughter

Damn, forgot – slid my car in the snow into a hedge of nice picture postcard cottage. Out comes Gary Numan with a 4×4 to tow me out

The other month I bought the wife of one of the guys from Mogwai a beer (actually, not that tenuous, she’s my mates daughter).

I was phoned up at work by Johnny mad as a frog Dawes. He was only really trying to flog me a personal training day, but it still counts!

I actually got paid(!) to sell t-shirts for three nights on the Sonic Youth Daydream Nation tour, sharing the merch desk with Susanne Sesnic (of Two Cool Rock Chicks Listening to Neu fame) and Dan Peters (drummer of Mudhoney). Completely blew any cred I might’ve had with Susanne when I completely failed to recognise Eugene and Frances of the Vaselines when they wandered past in Glasgow. However, on the plus side, she told me how Kim Gordon and her made their glitter ‘pants’. Thurston Moore is a **** giant. I *might* actually have mentioned this to him when I met him. I’m sure I was the first to do that… 😳

Oh, and I also told Steven Pastel to get his nose out of the Dinosaur Jr t-shirts box (I didn’t know who he was or that he was there to interview Dinosaur….).

Oh, how could I have forgotten, my dad claims he intercepted the radio message where the Russians talked about sending off the Sputnik rocket for the first time (ultra high frequency apparently) when he was stationed in Berlin in the 50’s

I used to deliver Tina (I love to love) Charles’ newspaper.
Gail from Corrie comes in my shop.

I had completly forgotten about this one , as an apprentice i helped install all the windows in Jim Bowens house .
Just inside the front door he had his copy of “This Is Your Life”on a pedestal , i had a sneaky peak and it only had some recent holiday snaps in it and not a single written word.His bathroom was full of freebies from hotels and my impression of him was that he was as tight as a ducks arse in water.

Nearly shoulder barged Theresa May when she came to visit work. My need for employment stopped me.

Spent a weekend skiing with the OC of the SAS squadron that attacked the Tora Bora caves. He was wearing a pink TNF onsie from the 80’s. He thought it was still fashionable. Lets face it, I was not going to tell him otherwise.

James Blunt sat next to me at an Indian restaurant in Gex, France. He got served before me, even though I was there first.

Nigel Mansell had a good stare at my wifes chest when we were in Gatwick North terminal. I was chuffed, the wife not so.

A girl I worked with was told that she could not go topless in the daily star as it would bring the army into disrepute. She did. She got kicked out. The daily star sold out within a 5 mile radius.

Oh, I was on singled out back in 1998. It’s fixed.

Not really claims to fame but I’m bored.

At a conference for young (18-28yo) folk with diabetes in Stoke many years ago I got off with a young lady who later appeared on Pop Idol X-Factor doing a very memorable version of a very popular discotheque hit.

Some of these are so bad/good, I shall include my other one:

Me & my brother went backstage at a Kelly Osbourne gig and I gave her a t-shirt.
Could of snogged her, but she was too ugly.
I have got the photos 😀

Oh yeah I used to live on the street where all the characters in last of the summer wine lived! (Next door to cleggy, as you are asking)

My grandad invented the jaffa orangey bit in the jaffa cake, and also helped make the queen’s wedding cake

(we think this is him on the left, but we’re not sure)

Mmm. Not tenuous enough? Ian Richardson, the actor best known for the original House of Cards, stole the credit for inventing the jaffa orangey bit, on the Jonathon Ross show! His dad, Johnny Richardson, was my grandad’s assistant.

I’ve mentioned this one before.

Julie Goodyear (Bet Lynch off corrie) has known my mum and dad for 50 years or so. She used to drink in our pub and would often pull pints behind the bar.

Sometimes if she passed me walking home from school she’d stop and give me a lift in her MG.

Oh and now and again some bloke off the telly comes out with us on a Monday night.

My dad once held a door open for the snooker player Cliff Thorburn

Tenuous – I walked into a small cafe in Torquay, aged 13, with my parents and noticed a certain Linda Lusardi was sat there.

I don’t remember much after that.

My boss’s dad is royal correspondent Tim Ewart

Been in 2 Tv programs

Starred in the first series of Thunder Races. We turned a red Manta Gte into a Pikes peak look-a-like rally car in 48hrs and competed against 888 racing and a team of motor vehicle lecturers. We lost.

Infamously involved in ‘Gerrys Big Decision’ where Sir G met businesses run by nincompoops and invested in them . Amazingly still gainfully employed , chhrist knows how.

Served Nick Haywood a pint whilst working in the Bell at Godstone.
Worked out in a small gym in Aldershot with no other than Jet of Gladiators, but never knew it was her till she’d gone.

Stepping backwards to have my photo taken at the great north run I knocked the bloke who plays Eric Pollard in Emmerdale on the floor.

Having a pee in the urinals during the Euro 2012 tournament. Dickie bird stands at the side of me and starts talking football.

I had an altercation with that ***t Clarkson earlier this year, that got on a lot of websites and in a couple of newspapers (and it was on here but I used a different username) 😀

Your weren’t in his way, perchance?

I post on the same Internet forum as one of guy martins mates.

He seemed to think so.

Tim Vine lives about 6 doors along from me in Banstead, he drives a proper banger and parked across my gate so I couldn’t get my motorbike out. Tweeted him and his 125,000 followers asking him to move it.

Spent a lot of the weekend in my teenage years drinking with Ben and James Johnson, aka 2/3rds of biffy clyro and went to quite a few of there first gigs.

Old flatmate became a dancer and ended up on one of kylie’s world tours

School friend was on take me out for a while (didnt get picked)

Was on a really dodgy dating show when at uni called dial a date (Was stopped in the street and asked to go in) Wasnt picked, the ladys comments after seeing my video was “quite good looking but seems miserable”

Ex girlfriend was Dan Browns publisher and spent about a years working on the da vinci code. Was given pre publication copy to read and pointed out several this about the section set in london that didnt work.
Dan sent me a very nice message in one of his earlier books that I couldnt get ahold of.

Work at GOSH so see numerous famous people around including, Nick Clegg, Alistair Campbell, John Terry, David Cameron, John Snow cycles past all the time.

Commuting through south london alongside a geezer on a scooter and realised it was Phil Spencer (Location, Location, Location)

Had breakfast next to eddie cahill (actor from friends and CSI) in LA and a young guy he was with had on a west ham top so made small talk.

Think that’s it!

Just realised that the building across the Thames from Lucy’s flat in Not Going Out is my old office in St Katherine’s Dock 🙂

My wife’s Aunty is Jenny Agutter
Ive never met her

My wife is also teaching the baby of one of the ITV Midlands weather women to swim
I don’t know which one but she keeps pointing her out to me every time the weather is on

As a kid I had a painting featured in Tony Harts gallery
My wife has never seen it

My great great grandad, Willie Blair, used to play the fiddle for Queen Victoria when she stayed at Balmoral.
I was taught structural engineering at Nescot by Dr Vine, Tim & Jeremy’s dad.
Just remembered. I went to a BBQ hosted by Roger Daltrey at his trout farm. He is very short.

Some more: I went out with Mike Oldfields niece for a couple of years. Also went out with one of the actors from ‘Teachers’ who is now married to Keith Allen!

the crapper family name is where the word crap comes from.

No it isn’t. It’s derived from something Germanic IIRC, and Crapper is a corruption of Cropper. Wholly unrelated words, anyway.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Crapper

One for the engineers and bluegrass fans.

A friend of mine and handy bicyclerists’ great grandfather invented the 3 point linkage. His boss stole the idea and made a mint.

Here he is singing all about it 😀

At school I went out with a girl who used to live next door to Gerry Rafferty.

I got to speak on the Adventure Show one year at the Puffer.

I once worked with a chap who is Bill Bailey’s cousin. Same chap used to know Frankie Howard’s nephew.

I worked briefly as a joke writer for a Radio Scotland programme.

I used to live quite close to Andy Gray, panto regular and City Lights star.

Some French folk asked me for my autograph because I was wearing a kilt, totally ignoring the two Scottish rugby internationalists in our group who weren’t. Early hours of the morning and much drink had been taken. By all involved.

MrsKenny’s sister’s boyfriend is the cousin of Radio 4’s Eddie Mair.

RaveyDavey – Member
I’ve been physically ejected from a night club by Warrior from Gladiators he’s not a fan of ‘banter’

Your name made this claim to fame work so well!

When I was about 6 years of age I sat on Gary Glitters chopper. My brothers mate had bought it mid 70’s – late 70’s, drove it round and I got to sit on it.

Lived next door to Kenny Everett at college.
Supervisor denied last year’s Nobel Prize.
Friends with someone on Eastenders – i had known them a year before i found out, never watch it.
Teen2’s classmate reads Sky News and lives across the road.
I had Pam Ayres on my sofa and was interviewed for Radio 2.

Sport, archaeology and music related:

My mother’s parents knew Cliff Morgan (he was v good friends with their neighbours)
I was fly half to 2003 England World Cup player Andy Gomarsall’s scrum half at prep school
A friend’s parents were friends with Bob Marley (she was cradled by him as a baby)
At the same prep school, Jago Cooper and I were in the same class and were good friends. I have a neatly embarrassing story about him….
A few weeks ago I went on the lash with Alan Brazil and Ray Parlour
Last prep school one – my sister was in the same class as Daniel de la Bedoyere (son of DJ and scenster Count Simon de la Bedoyere and Judy Dyble, singer with Fairport Convention – they were very nice people)

EDIT…

I used to work for Stuart Hall’s son

My mate TonyPlym’s parents were the Queens florist’s in Windsor Castle.

My mum was an extra in Dr No whilst pregnant with me- I’m in a James Bond film!

Later on when once I was able to breathe air she took me to see Rev Martin Luther King Jnr make a superb speech.

I have no recollection of it whatsoever, I was only 16 months old. It is however one of the best things that I’ve experienced. Cheers Mum, I thank you 🙂

martinxyz – Member
When I was about 6 years of age I sat on Gary Glitters chopper….

It’s as well you didn’t stop the story there… 🙂

I was just disappointed it was the wheel rather than the rotor kind.

My dad went to school with John Lennon (several years apart) and John (who was a prefect) once told him off for talking on the stairs
My mum was friends with Paul McCartneys cousin

Epicyclo,I told that story at work and Andy nearly spat his lunch over me!