Let’s be honest; as a grown up riding any sort of bikes whether it be around the block, around the woods, over jumps, down hills – it’s all daft. In fact all sport’s daft. I’d ban it all, apart from the fact that it’s bloody brilliant and is a major contributor to the fact that we don’t all get morbidly depressed and kill ourselves.
Pretty much everything in life needs to have some sort of fun extracted from it.
Thinking back to my day – the race would start not with the ‘Watch the Gate’ call, rather my mum screeching ‘JONNY! TEATIME!’ from 3 miles away; and as well as the usual berms and jumps, would include some dogshit to weave around and also being shouted at by the farmer for taking a short cut through his yard rather than around the footpath.
I’d also like to see ‘negotiating the rhythm section’ to be replaced by ‘negotiating with the rhythm section’ in which racers have to broker a settlement in Morrissey and Marr vs Joyce and Rourke before moving on to the final big set of doubles.