Singletrack Forum Tool & Beaverage Ratios.

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Introducing the Singletrack Forum Bottle Opener. The Singletrack forum really is one of the most amazing corners of the interweb. It is the virtual lounge bar that makes Singletrack so much more than a magazine… we are a community.

One very real danger with the forum is the risk of tumbling down a rabbit hole of wisdom/wisdumb without being properly prepared. And I know, as it has happened to me. I once wondered what gear ratio was best for the race at the weekend… and down, down, deeper and down, opinions, numbers, tooth counts, wheel roll out equations, gear ratio calculators, and being told to simply get off and push if it gets too hard. I was glad to have a beer with me.

With your forum wellbeing in mind we have developed this near essential forum tool.

forum tool
And don’t we just have the best bollocks going?

The Singletrack Forum Bottle Opener is a quality stainless steel tool that subtly reminds you why you are using the forum. Yes, it’s OK to use that word. Richard Branson of Virgin Records settled that argument in court in 1977. His evidence showed that “bollocks” was an Old English term for “priest” and in the context of the Sex Pistols “Never Mind The Bollocks” album it meant “nonsense”.

Moving beyond the learnings of punk legal history… at a generous 180mm length it boasts one of the best beverage to leverage ratios in the kitchen. Hold on, that doesn’t rhyme! You need to either read it in an American accent and say “beverage to leather-age”, or an English accent and “beaver-age to leverage”.

The specs:

  • Opens bottles of beer and other drinks.
  • Oversized hole to make hanging it up extra easy.
  • 180mm length delivers industry leading “beaverage to leverage” ratio.
  • 2mm stainless steel. It’s a steel without stains.
  • Subtle legally acceptable text reminding you why you are here.
  • Did we mention that it also opens beer bottles?
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Viewing 19 posts - 1 through 19 (of 19 total)
  • Singletrack Forum Tool & Beaverage Ratios.
  • Premier Icon ScotRoutes
    Full Member

    Are these good for a Saturday night beaver hunt then?

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Free Member

    We could all do with a higher tool and beaverage ratio, eh fellas?

    Premier Icon ScotRoutes
    Full Member

    We could have a debate on who is the Singletrack Forums biggest tool, but there are too many contenders

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Free Member

    Not sure if that would comply with the new kinder, gentler forum ethos.

    😀

    Premier Icon wheelsonfire1
    Full Member

    Is 180mm the new standard then? I believe 170 is the optimum length for a bottle opener.

    Premier Icon ossify
    Full Member

    Is 180mm the new standard then? I believe 170 is the optimum length for a bottle opener.

    This is optimumer. Optimer?

    Premier Icon Blackflag
    Free Member

    Clearly not as handy as the key ring outcast bottle opener its replacing.

    Premier Icon wheelsonfire1
    Full Member

    Ah ha, Optimal length!! Still think it’s 170 though..

    Premier Icon wheelsonfire1
    Full Member

    @ScotRoutes just realised what you did in the first post, I thought you were being crude but now I realise you’ve got the ability to read and connect with your brain. I’m still working on that!

    Premier Icon Rubber_Buccaneer
    Full Member

    The kind of tat that would be ideal as a free cover gift

    I thought you were being crude

    I think you will have to lay that one at the feet of the advert’s author. I suspect it’s not an accidental typo, more like a joke but not as funny.

    Premier Icon Mark Alker
    Full Member

    It’s too heavy for a cover mount and we haven’t really done cover mounts since the great Snickers incident of.. er.. When was that again?

    Anyway, glad to see you are in a jolly mood as usual Rubber 😉

    Premier Icon ScotRoutes
    Full Member

    @wheelsonfire1 – I was going to go with “what is your beaver age?” but thought that was a bit close to the mark, especially as an Oakleys Transitions wearer.

    Premier Icon thisisnotaspoon
    Full Member

    Is 180mm the new standard then? I believe 170 is the optimum length for a bottle opener.

    165 if you’ve bought a bike that’s too low.

    Will it come in 172.5 for roadies and gravel riders?

    Premier Icon wheelsonfire1
    Full Member

    What’s the Q factor?

    Premier Icon Kermit
    Full Member

    Will there be an eMTB specific version?

    Premier Icon belugabob
    Free Member

    If each one comes with a bottle of Delerium Tremens, I’m in!!

    Premier Icon harry_the_spider
    Full Member

    180mm brings the experience “alive”.

    Going to wait to see if they bring out a 205mm.

    Premier Icon tourismo
    Full Member

    Just needs a 15mm pedal spanner on the other end and it’s perfect.

    Premier Icon RedThunder
    Free Member

    I’m waiting for the Gravel specific version 😉

Viewing 19 posts - 1 through 19 (of 19 total)

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