Snip snip!

Just had my vasectomy, that was an interesting experience. 😐

I’ve got nothing better to do today, so I’m going to overshare. I walked in to the surgery at about 9.45, shook hands with Dr Khan, then met the two middle-aged female nurses – right, I’m sure they’ve seen it all before, better get on with it then. Lower half off, lie on table, chat about work whilst having your bits shaved and disinfected, that was very strange. After the anaesthetic kicked in it was mostly just mildly uncomfortable, a general rummaging sensation with a few twinges, accompanied by the unpleasant smell of your own insides being cauterised. Once it was done I had the opportunity to view the excised vases (vasae? vasii?), they were 4-5 cm long, about the width of a gear cable outer, white and lumpy. Cool.

The whole thing took about 20 minutes, and probably rates somewhere between a root canal filling and dinner with the in-laws in terms of unpleasantness, so far: the anaesthetic hasn’t worn off yet. But I’ve taken my co-codamol so hopefully it won’t be too horrible.

I’ve got the sofa booked for the next day or two, and am sat with a load of junk food ready for some serious Netflixing. Hit me up with some puns, jokes, horror stories about your own snip, or just take the piss, whatever.

Do not google scrotal abscess.

I repeat, do not google scrotal abscess.

A mate had one.

He wasn’t a happy chap (and neither was his chap).

boys and their bits 😕

I drove myself home and for the first time ever regretted the heated seats in the car.

I had it done 2 yrs ago, best bit was waiting room banter beforehand. I went alone but some blokes had wives there taking the piss.

Comedy gold

Do not google scrotal abscess.

*adds item to list of things I definitely didn’t need to know existed*

Bookmarked! Going to get it sorted after this year’s racing is done. Heard lots of stories about aches down below that go on for months, putting me off a bit 😕

The fun starts when you have to **** into them little bottles and send them off, they say they’ll keep in touch …they never write.. they never phone ….

Sounds terrible – you really should have much stronger painkillers and round the clock care for at least a week…

Rachel

ps – If mintimperial gets to overshare, does that mean I can???
pps – welcome back Emsz from wherever you went o/

They obviously gave you sufficient anaesthetic before they started cutting, for which you should be grateful. Sometimes they underestimate how much is required. Sometimes they repeat this mistake while still on the first plum. And then again on his neighbour. Bastards.

They obviously gave you sufficient anaesthetic before they started cutting, for which you should be grateful.

Actually they did have to top me up a little bit on the left hand side, it was a bit wince-inducing for a moment or two there. Sounds like you had it much worse though. 😯

If mintimperial gets to overshare, does that mean I can???

Go for it, I’m all for an equal-opportunities discussion of reproductive plumbing in general.

Try and stay off the pain killers as they could make you constipated and “straining at the stool” could blow your newly fitted cylinder head gasket.

Stay off the bike for a week or so. I rattled my knackers on the nose of the saddle about 10 days post snip and had to lay in the dirt and have a little cry for a while. Not my finest moment.

I am considering getting this done this year. Reading the above has not encouraged me to speed things along at all, or boosted my enthusiasm.
Proper wary of having my bits messed with.

Rach,

things to do, y’know…

ooh can we all overshare? although I suspect Rach is gonna win

although I suspect Rach is gonna win

We’ve reached the ‘overshare on stw’ quota for today, haven’t we? Please say we have 😉

First **** afterwards was a bit odd. It felt “gurgly” like what happens when you are finishing a milkshake.

I’m seriously considering this, I couldn’t possible cope with another baby like our second 😉

How long were you on the waiting list minty?

Ugh brant takes an early lead!

Stay off the bike for a week or so.

Yeah, I was planning on two weeks or so minimum to be on the safe side, don’t want an infection. Might play on the BMX first rather than anything with a high-saddle…

First **** afterwards was a bit odd. It felt “gurgly” like what happens when you are finishing a milkshake.

Hahahaha, christ… 😆

How long were you on the waiting list minty?

Couple of months but apparently they normally turn it round quicker than that, I think the surgeon went skiing or something.

I just blew a puff of dust

First **** afterwards was a bit odd. It felt “gurgly” like what happens when you are finishing a milkshake. 😆 😯

What????

I just can’t face it…

Gawd, it sounds just awful, I picked a mate up afterwards and he said the worst bit was the ‘tugging’ sensation.

😳

It’s not for me.

the worst bit was the ‘tugging’ sensation.

For me it was the sound the scissors made.

Sort of scissory but with distinct visceral overtones.

Rapidly going off the idea, maybe celibacy is a better option

The worst part for me was my 3 yo jumping on my lap the day after and kneeing me in the fork. Mum didn’t appreciate my entirely reflex action of throwing him across the room.

When the doc said “help me with this knot, press your finger here…”.

God, imagine if blokes had to have smear tests, you’d never hear the end of it. 😆

^ Imagine if we had to give birth!

I had mine done in my local surgery after seeing the doctor for a 5 min consultation!!!! .. After we had twins I thought it’s the best way forward? My partner took me to the surgery, parked outside was a tractor(I live in the FOD) so not a unusual sight. Was in and out in less the 25 mins and everything was fine until I was changing nappies on the bed and the babies kick out as they do….. Omg! But never less…I lived to tell this tale!!

emsz – Oh don’t – they’ve started hassling me for one again…

Glad to hear things haven’t moved along much in the 20 years since I had mine done! I drove home – 20+ miles on country roads “briskly” flat out on the Sofa before the anaesthetic wore off, G&T in hand, wife and kids detailed off on life support tasks for the w/e, back to work on the Monday! No shaving for me which made the cauterising something of a fire risk! Its a weird sensation squinting down the length of your body to see smoke rising from your crotch. I was rowing competitively at the time, missed one outing mid week, back in the boat the following w/e. Spectacular bruising when it came out….

imagine if blokes had to have smear tests, you’d never hear the end of it.

you don’t hear too many tales of prostate examination on here from the more mature posters.

I think there’s something inherently funny/squeam inducing for blokes around having their bits either interfered with by medical professionals or being smashed into stationary objects

Wasn’t Dr Genghis Khan was it?

Sounds like thegreatape had the same surgical team I had. Bastards!

I got the entire female staff population gathered round – and quite a few passersby who had been given spare uniforms – who all wanted to admire and comment on how well I had shaved beforehand. I mean, how hard is it?

Although someone I know managed to slice his sack open with a beard trimmer in preparation for his snip. Shocking hand-eye coordination for a BA pilot.

Another mate decided to get circumcised at the same time. Something or other got infected. Three months off work wearing nothing but extra big tee shirts.

Try not to enjoy your wife’s gratitude at this very physical manifestation of your commitment to your relationship* until you have healed properly.

See if you can find the vasectomy episode of Home Improvement. Comedy gold that all men will appreciate.

* I haven’t the heart to tell her I just didn’t want any more kids!

You want prostate tales? You can’t handle prostate tales.

Worst bit – the small of bacon as they cauterise the tubes…

All female team for me too. Too old to be embarrassed though. Pretty much pain free, and no infection. No regrets.

My mate had a severe temperature a few days after his. Thankfully he actually had flu rather than an infection down there.

prostate a piece of cake ( toast actually after the act) its the bowel cleansing that we dont want to talk about.. i ve had the probe and the doctors finger… best ever though were the ‘scrotal lumps’ went to docs.. got these lumps in my scrotum .. ok the docs on holiday the stand in will see you..middle aged grandma type asks me to go behind the screen and drop em lie on bed someone will be in to examine me.. in walks 25 ish blond, white blouse short black skirt extremly attractive young lady.. i was in heaven for 10 minutes.. i ve been back twice since..

Don’t forget the ice. Some for your G&T and some regular ice packs down there will help reduce the swelling and improve and speed up your recovery.

My procedure went really well, a friend on the other hand got an infection which led to an abscess, but you don’t want to know about that. 🙂

bloody hell… some horror stories there. Mine was smashed out in 15mins… tiny little injection, 1 little cut, a little tugging (not in a good way) and over & done. Drove myself home and carried on as normal. A little achey for 24hrs and then not even a thought since…. that was 18mths ago!

Best decision ever.

All female team for me too. Too old to be embarrassed though. Pretty much pain free, and no infection. No regrets.

Funny how you really don’t care when you get older. Had a bladder inspection that involved a camera being shoved down the eye. All female team. They even did a quick prostrate check while they were down there.