Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 46 total)
  • Real time bulls–t bingo
  • ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    On a call with a business in the USA.

    They’ve already used some gems, including:

    “Some information we’d like to double click on”

    Give me some to use in return..!

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Verbalise your ideations.

    Overheard in the US this week. I’m on day four of it. My head hurts.

    Coyote
    Free Member

    “Socialise our thoughts” was one thrown into a meeting by a sales person, sorry Business Development Manager, last week.

    Oh and a lot of people seem to be “reaching out” rather than trying to get in touch these days.

    willard
    Full Member

    Throw a bit of ‘ideation’ in there. It’s a combination of ideas and creation.

    Have you used ‘synergies’ yet?

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Bonus points if you can suggest you reach around a colleague.

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    A rep once unwittingly got ‘tromboning’ into a pitch once. Go for that.

    That and ‘ringfence the unicorn’ obviously

    senorj
    Full Member

    We had “overflow of Capacity” the other day….
    ……we’re a little busy… 🙄

    thisisnotaspoon
    Free Member

    I had an interview a few weeks ago for a sales role. I suspect being an engineer my answers along the lines of “don’t you just phone them?” didn’t quite have the same gravitas as “I’d reach out to the consumers”.

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Oh and a lot of people seem to be “reaching out” rather than trying to get in touch these days.

    Do we still say that?

    I must be well out of touch. I’m still “brofisting my dawgs” 😉

    thisisnotaspoon
    Free Member

    perchypanther – Member

    I must be well out of touch. I’m still “brofisting my dawgs”

    Cat’s surely?

    jimdubleyou
    Full Member

    Ideation

    I saw this on our intranet the other day, couldn’t believe it was a real word.

    Apparently it means the formation of ideas or concepts and has been around for ages…

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    Just used odds and sods.

    Silence from the other end. Except for the British ex pat who sniggered….

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    have just socialised and verbalised.

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Cat’s surely?

    Cats, Dawgs, whatever.

    I’m an Equal Opportunities fister.

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    We had one last and emphasised “double click”..!

    Thanks all. Back to boring telecoms jargon now….

    keithb
    Full Member

    Suggestions for any other quinissentially british phrases to silence the yanks anyone? Lets see how many Ourmanintehnorth can get in!

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Contrafibularities.

    GO!

    lunge
    Full Member

    Our office has a list of the that get ticked off over the course of the day. Use and abuse at your leisure:

    ??? piece (context, “we’re doing a lot of work on the data migration piece”)
    Bayonet the dead
    Best in breed
    Break through the clutter
    Calibrate expectations
    Class leading
    Close the loop
    Customer centric
    Disruptive innovation
    Elevator pitch
    Fulfilment issues
    Have a V2V
    Herding cats
    High order thinking
    It is what it is
    Just doing my job
    Let’s not try and boil the ocean
    Leverage
    Low hanging fruit
    Mission critical
    Money maker
    Par for the course
    Paradigm shift
    Quick and dirty
    Sometimes you have to shoot the puppy
    Synergy
    Thought leadership
    Value add

    You can also generate your own completely fake phrases here:
    http://www.acronymfinder.com/buzzgen.asp

    rwamartin
    Free Member

    up the odds a bit. See how many song titles you can get in.

    A few you might try:

    “Let’s go round again”
    “Don’t leave me this way”
    “yellow submarine”
    “Raspberry beret”

    Rich.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    Sometimes you have to shoot the puppy

    😆

    How about going with something only a (few) brits would get?

    “It is all heading up Garburn Pass”
    or
    “It’s a bit like swimming with Nessie”

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    See how many song titles you can get in.

    Did that in a speaking slot at a conference in Vegas a couple of years ago. Told colleagues I’d be doing so beforehand. Poor things were at the back of the hall in tears by the end!

    Northwind
    Full Member

    Elevator pitch

    I quite like elevator pitch tbh, it’s nice and descriptive, and a real thing not just some newspeak bollocks.

    We use “helicopter parenting” a lot at work. It’s a really useful term but a part of me dies every time.

    rickmeister
    Full Member

    Bonus and double word score if you manage to slip then a quick and dirty

    Cockwomble

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    Alas call reached its natural conclusion (I wasn’t listening) before I had a chance to fully British it up.

    I did have a thought at what the chaps on the other side might have thought when trying to decipher our accents: west indian, yorkshire, laaandaan and me (moderately RP).

    doris5000
    Full Member

    hilarious how comically macho some of these terms are!

    bayonetting the dead, mission critical, shooting puppies – it’s all very Mike from Spaced…

    lunge
    Full Member

    “We are a class leading, customer centric provider who offer best in breed solutions. We don’t go after the low hanging fruit or offer quick and dirty solutions, the way we work is a paradigm shift from the usual migration piece. We can break through the clutter and leverage your fulfillment issues, offering thought leadership on your mission critical systems. But, before I give you my elevator pitch, lets have a further V2V and I can explain our value add.”

    Coyote
    Free Member

    ^Genius^

    Northwind
    Full Member

    lunge – Member

    lets have a further V2V

    “What a coincidence! That’s my favourite sort of porn too! We should definitely do business together”

    lunge
    Full Member

    Northwind, would you like me to show you my money maker? If so, you realise it will be a quick dirty solution?

    slowoldman
    Full Member

    Just used odds and sods.

    Excellent. I used “dropped a bollock” with a bunch of Americans once. They were bemused.

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    Oh and a lot of people seem to be “reaching out” rather than trying to get in touch these days.

    You could try a reach around instead?

    It’s very disruptive.

    Lifer
    Free Member

    Are you using a cascadation matrix?

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    let’s stop and count our bullets (surely a winner in the states)

    shrink the denominator

    pebbledashing the bowl

    RobHilton
    Free Member

    Most businesses are on the road to BI nirvana…

    scuttler
    Full Member

    nickc
    Full Member

    lunge,

    are you my bid writer..? 😆

    eightyeight
    Free Member

    I heard ‘It’s like trying to heard geckos’ the other day.

    A nice variation if nothing else.

    ‘Re-inventing’ seems to be à la mode right now. Is it just me or is it a self-contained paradox? You either invent something (i.e. create something new) or adapt something. How can you re-invent something?

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    How can you re-invent something?

    You need to orbificate the delta.

    cb
    Full Member

    My OH just told me that she’s off on business in July but I should know that already as she had put a ‘placemat’ in the diary. I had no words…

    eightyeight
    Free Member

    Ah, the ‘ol ‘coaster in the calendar’

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