*wipes tears away*
*stitches up split sides*

Keep it coming chaps! Thread of the year so far!

deadlydarcy
Thread title typo of the week!

We should actually have this as a weekly award 😉

Have you turned her off and then turned her on again?

Have you tried plugging the wife into the master? You’ll have to locate the box and pull the bottom half off to gain access.

sorry to say, it’s probably needing a bigger aerial

Have you checked what the wife designed to receive? Not all wifes are B|G N compatible. Frequency can also be a problem, if wife is only designed for a rate of 2.4 G cycles a second then 5 G cycles a second will be problematic.

So your wife keeps going down on you and you’re on here complaining about it?

Sheesh!

The secret lies in power lines, however we all know who has the real power in any STW marriage.

Have you read the manual ? That might help you locate the on/off switch.

Have you got a physical connection?

Perhaps yours is a public hotspot?

Maybe you could implement some kind of pay per use system, and use the income to support a second better wife just for you?

OK, back to basics here.

Insert Tab A in to Slot B. You don’t need to worry about Spot G yet, not until you’ve got the basics sorted out.

Try turning the TV off, I often find I have a better wife signal without other background electrical interference.
Once you have uploaded any info required its best to turn it back on or you can get loads of unnecessary traffic/spam

If all else fails I could pop by and give it the once over. I charge by the hour but these things only usually take a few minutes

Your Wife has probably caught a virus. You need to be careful of interfacing with public Wifes, never know what you might pick up…

I charge by the hour but these things only usually take a few minutes

Never skimp on servicing 😉

I charge by the hour but these things only usually take a few minutes

Never skimp on servicing

We can attempt to make it last longer but sometimes it just starts working all too quickly and can’t be made to stop again. Probably just lack of practice with the tools.

Tbh, the problem usually seems to be user error rather than a problem with the wife.

😆 😆
This thread made my wife make an unusual noise, it normally whines, and when it doesnt whine it moans but it actually seemed happy for a brief moment.
Wipes away a tear STW has some great comedians

Classic STW thread, nearly lost a contact lens wiping the tears away! Genius! 😆

Have you got kids? I’m fairly sure it’s the kids causing my wife to disconnect, as it was much better before they came along.

Every time I’ve had that problem this has sorted it, look round the back you will find a small hole where you have to poke something small into it ,you might find some resistance,just keep pushing,you will probably hear a small noise at first then it should work just fine, should achieve similar results in all rooms in the house!!!!

Have you just tried kicking it?
Or placing it next to a radiator??

I´ve had to skip most of this since I´m trying not to spray beer across the keyboard and screen. I will be back later. Carry on.

BT sent a man round to fix mine.

Don’t ask the TV man to service it! It may not turn out as expected 😯

“It’s the t.v. repair man. And the t.v. isn’t even broken”

Moans. Etc.

has her socket got a deep groove? If so, you have found the right wife.

Forgot to mention that mine responds well to a good spank if its been inactive for a while 🙂

Throwing a load of cash at it will have suprisingly good results, but only for a short while!!!!

Throwing a load of cash at it will have suprisingly good results, but only for a short while!!!!

Yes, but be careful here. You need to be quite subtle and can get away with it only once or twice, regular cash outlay can have very poor results leading to serious failure and regular outages.

There are two possible three times a year where targeted spending will have desirable results, anything outside of this is a tad risky…

*Decides contribution to thread over-steps boundaries of decency and leaves others to it*

Carry on everyone. This is great stuff 😆

If your Wife isn’t turned on, my model has a hole at the back you need to push something in while locating the button at the front at the end of the groove. Usually lights up like a Christmas tree. NB. Might need a friend to help if you have small hands!

There’s a very good app on android called wife analyser. You can use it to check wife strengths, plot wife performance over time and even compare your wife to other wife’s in the neighbourhood. If that’s too complicated then there’s a simple colour coded dial, when it’s green your wife is good to go.

If its instant access u require fill it full of alcohol,should then do everything you want!!! Beware though this is temporary as it won’t work at all tomorrow!!!! 😀

If you want to eliminate user error, try and borrow a friend’s wife and see if that works any better in your house?

Good idea FF, in fact you could extend the idea. Speak to the other guys on the street and organise a really good test by putting all [your] various wifes in one house and test each in turn, in several rooms (need to be quite scientific about it). For best results make sure the others are turned off otherwise the interference becomes unmanageable.

The one that performs best in a variety of positions is the model you want.

You could always just get rid and replace it with a newer model. The more up to date ones tend to be better looking, slimmer design and less hassle to operate.