The line has the same job in our house!
So hope the children don't take it out of context when they are older!
Chat Forum
[closed]
Favourite Father Ted lines...
-
Posted 2 years ago #
-
Dougal opening his advent calender
Dougal: "I'll bet it's a donkey, or something
Ted: "So, you'll have changed your mind then, what was it yesterday? Oh yes, Ruud Van Nistelrooy on a shed...Posted 2 years ago # -
'oh no Ted, I forgot to have my breakfast...' (cue dramatic music)
Posted 2 years ago # -
Oh yes, Ruud Van Nistelrooy on a shed...
Ruud Gullit! Sorry, my inner nerd got the better of me...
(Wrong decade of football for a start, and it wouldn't scan as well either)
Posted 2 years ago # -
Posted 2 years ago #
-
Posted 2 years ago #
-
RichPenny - MemberThat would be an ecumenical matter
Absolutely ! I try to use it at least once a day
Posted 2 years ago # -
+1 all the above.
What a brilliant show.Posted 2 years ago # -
Father Jack... "Arse Biscuits !!"...
Posted 2 years ago # -
Father................I killed a man
Posted 2 years ago # -
I do use arse biscuits a lot. So much so and for so long I'd forgotten it came from Father Ted.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Posted 2 years ago #
-
Those **** Chinese!
COLM: Hello there Father.
TED: Ah, hello Colm. Out and about?
COLM: Ah, same as yourself.
TED: Good good.
COLM: I hear you're a racist now Father.
TED: Wha...What?
COLM: How did you get interested in that type of thing?
TED: Who said I'm a racist?
COLM: Everyone's sayin' it Father. Should we all be racist now? What's the official line the church is takin' on this.
TED: No, no.
COLM: Only the farm takes up most of the day and at night I just like a cup of tea. I mightn't be able to devote meself to the oul' racism.
MRS. CARBERRY: Good for you Father.
TED: What? Oh, Mrs. Carberry!
MRS. CARBERRY: Good for you Father. Well someone had the guts to stand up to them at last. Comin' over here, takin' our jobs and our women and actin' like they own the ****' place. Well done Father. Good for you. Good for you. I'd like to ****....
MRS. CARBERRY: ****' Greeks.
COLM: It isn't the Greeks, it's the Chinese he's after.
TED: I'm not after the Chinese.
MRS. CARBERRY: I don't care who he gets so long as I can have a go at the Greeks. They invented gayness!Posted 2 years ago # -
Oh genius, I love Father Ted!
Mine is, I think the first ever scene - Dougal walks into the living room with shaving foam all over his face:
Ted: Dougal, you've got some shaving foam on your face still
Dougal: oh? where's that then Ted
Ted: well, you've got some here...and a bit there...well, Dougal - it's all over your face!
Dougal: (looking in mirror and wiping off with towel)how did that get there, I didn't even shave this morning"Now if that isn't the best scene-setting start to a comedy coupling I don't know what is!
(also - the same episode, Ted's diagram for Dougal about dreams vs reality and the subsequent animation when he get's interviewed!)
Posted 2 years ago # -
another vote for That would be an ecumenical matter. Gets used all the time. Particularly in dull work meetings.
I love my brick
Oh it's a filthy, dirty business, sex. Can you imagine, Father. Your husband standing over you with his lad in his hand, wanting you to degrade yourself. I want you to get a good clear picture.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Oh it's a filthy, dirty business, sex. Can you imagine, Father. Your husband standing over you with his lad in his hand, wanting you to degrade yourself. I want you to get a good clear picture.
(whilst Ted is trying to eat a sausage) Posted 2 years ago # -
The Anti-Santa?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Dougal: Can I stay up tonight to watch the scary film?
Ted: Ah, no no no. The last time you stayed up to watch a scary film you ended up having to sleep in my bed. I wouldn't mind, but it wasn't even a scary film.
Dougal: Come on, Ted. A Volkswagen with a mind of its own. If that isn't scary, I don't know what is.
Posted 2 years ago # -
"I'm a happy camper"
Father Jack said in the context of:
(The roof is leaking and water is dripping onto Father Jack's head down his arm and into his glass. Ted and Dougal begin to move Jack's chair away from the leak)
Father Jack:(Waking up) I'm a happy camper!
(Father Jack reaches for his glass and begins to drink)Father Ted:(Panicked) No Father don't drink that it's...
Father Jack: ****' WATER!I absolutely love it!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Father Hank Tree
Father Hiroshima Twinkie
Father Stig Bubblecard
Father Johnny Helzapoppin
Father Luke Duke
Father Billy Furley
Father Chewy Louie
Father John Hoop
Father Harry Cakelinem
Father Rabulah Conundrum
Father Pee-wee Stairmaster
Father Tri-Peglips
Father Jemimah Ractoole
Father Jerry Twig
Father Spodo Komodo
Father CanabramalamerPosted 2 years ago # -
ted trying to explain an art-house fillum to dougal -" no that wasn't a banana "
Posted 2 years ago # -
jack; that gobshite on television again
Posted 2 years ago # -
All of the above!!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Eoin McLove -"I've got a terrible secret, i've got no willy"
Posted 2 years ago # -
I think I'll watch a couple of episodes tonight
Posted 2 years ago # -
in an unusual twist, mrs doyle appears to have baked a jumper into your cake.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Apparently its Ireland's biggest lingerie department.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Posted 2 years ago #
-
Dougal:
"Ted, you big b@ll@cks"Ted:
"Dougal, you've been reading those Roddy Doyle books again"Posted 2 years ago # -
Not a line, but the set up at the start of the racist episode with the little bit of black tape on the window for the Hitler gag later on, just genious!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Dougal and the Christmas lights..
Father Dougal: They're gone again. Right, one minute Ted, keep it like that! No, gone! Oh God, Ted! That's it Ted! You're a genius! There again! Wait.. Gone. Back. Gone. Back. Gone. Back.
Father Ted: Just sit down Dougal
Posted 2 years ago # -
ddmonkey Right you are there father?
Posted 2 years ago # -
'Those are fake hands!'
Posted 2 years ago # -
TED! - You forgot your brick!
Posted 2 years ago # -
A department store salesman is trying to sell Mrs Doyle an automatic tea maker.
Salesman - "But madam, just think there will be no more suffering making the tea"
Mrs D - "But I LIKE the suffering"
Posted 2 years ago #
Topic Closed
This topic has been closed to new replies.
