Your favourite film one liners

The Barnes Wallis Quote – amazingly epic!

Ministry Official: You say you need a Wellington Bomber for test drops. They’re worth their weight in gold. Do you really think the authorities will lend you one? What possible argument could I put forward to get you a Wellington?

Barnes Wallis: Well, if you told them I designed it, do you think that might help?

Good afternoon my arse, you boche bastard. Come on put your hands up.

farmer with pitch fork BoB

‘Nice norks’*

Swordfish

John Travolta to Halle Berry

*may not be an actual line.

Another from Full Metal Jacket

“How tall are you soldier?”

“Five foot nine sir”

“I didn’t know they could stack shit that high!”

Not a film, but still a classic line;
“Do you know what the chain of command is here? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who’s in command!”

I’m Brian and so’s my wife…

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly…

The first rule of fight club is…

Dodgeball:

“It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to **** a doorknob!”

on a similar theme

“Go get your shinebox”

that would be one of these

My mother slapped me once …..ONCE

“What the hell are we supposed to use man, harsh language?” (Frost in ‘Aliens’)

Drill Sergeant: And where do you little darlings think you’re off to?
Reggie Kray: Home, for a cup of tea with our mum.

“and you are?”
“Plenty”
*Bond looks her up and down*
“why of course you are.”
“Plenty O’Toole”
“Named for your father, perhaps?”

Spiderpig, Spiderpig…

Eli: You know what the best part about my gay dads is?
Adam: What?
Eli: They’re never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.

And, not a film, but hey:

“Get off me you bummer!”

“what’s that?”
“anti shark cage”
“anti shark cage?…cage goes in the water?…you go in the cage?….shark’s in the water?….’Farewell and Adieu to you fair Spanish Maidens……..”

“it’s good when a man knows his limitations…”

The whole Rory Breaker “I’ll kill ya” speech to Nick the Bubble..ending….”In fact Nicholarse….”

“Don’t let anyone outside the family know what you’re thinking”

“Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you’ve lost. They belong to me now.” – Kill Bill

“It’s mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.” Kill Bill

“Unicron: I have summoned you here for a purpose.
Megatron: Nobody summons Megatron.
Unicron: Then it pleases me to be the first.” – Transformers (screw Citizen Kane, it was Orson Welles’ best film!)

And of course…

“SILENCE!”

Masque of the Red Death:

Prospero: There is no other God! Satan killed him!

Francesca: Is there anything to fear in that room?
Prospero: For the uninvited, there is much to fear.

Man in red: Why should you be afraid to die? Your soul has been dead for a long long time.

“Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads.”

I should really get a sticker with that on it for my bike…

“You are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence”

Time Bandits

“Has it suddenly got dark in here or am I having a stroke”

Jack O Neill SG1

and of course

“Klytus I’m bored…….what plaything can you offer me today?”

that’s not my dog

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CDYQtwIwAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DSXn2QVipK2o&ei=63xRTsfjMcSwhAfe2OzEBg&usg=AFQjCNFbRmQYghbShxmNs1jn3w7IFVvU1g

“this town needs an enema!” Jack Nicholson as the joker in batman 😉

“it begins with A and rhymes smuchmorshion”

followed by

“Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck – it’s dangerous”

knocked up

“That’s not America, that ain’t even Mexico!” (Simpsons episode, not a film)

and

“Cornetto.” (Shaun of the Dead)

“I may be a ba****d, but I’m not a ****ing ba****d”
From Dusk Til Dawn

Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries.

Anything that Brian Blessed says in Flash Gordon.

samuri – Member
Also, “I haven’t been **** like that since my prom night” from Fight Club.

You must have been watching the sanitised for TV version samuri, she actually says:

”My God. I haven’t been f***ed like that since grade school.”

which is a much worse/better/more-disturbing line (given that grade school is roughly equivalent to primary school).

valet: you must have shot a lot of tigers
croker: yes – i used a machine gun…

“My God. I haven’t been f***ed like that since grade school.”

That line was supposed to be ‘Oh Tyler, I want to have your abortion’ but the studio objected. David Fincher agreed to change it provided they accepted whatever he replaced it with…

Not quite favorite, but still worth a watch!

I fart in your general direction!

Once again the wretched creature has ruined my day! It will die. It will DIE!

You have no frame of reference in this conversation Donny. You’re like a child…

more seriously,

and

‘Round up the usual suspects!’ – Casablanca.

Is it true that there’s a point on a man’s head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?

But this one goes to eleven. it’s one louder.

Boards don’t hit back.

You can’t steal a warehouse, it’s big and heavy and stuck to the ground.