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  • Your dating rules
  • oldnick
    Full Member

    If they look nothing like their profile pic make your excuses and leave.

    If they won’t buy their round – see above.

    Be honest with yourself about what you want, and communicate this clearly.

    Work out what your red flags are, and don’t let lust make you overlook them.

    Say at the end of the first date if you do/don’t want a second date (everybody works out sooner or later that it’s a numbers game, being upfront saves everyone time).

    Good luck 🙂

    CountZero
    Full Member

    6. Don’t sleep with people who have more problems than you do.

    I did. And now she isn’t here anymore, I miss her more than it’s possible to express. Her problems weren’t insurmountable, and a treatment has recently become available on a trial run by the NHS, so everything looked positive. Not sure if I could find anyone who was such a sweet and unassuming person, and not sure if I really want to.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    On the back of a few comments from those of later years, I’d add:

    Consider what you’re looking for. Do you want a new lifetime partner; do you want to just make sure everything downstairs still works; do you want someone for the occasional coffee over a round of Mario Kart?

    All of these are valid options. You’re not going to be starting a new family at 60, I’d recommend a hamster.

    alpin
    Free Member

    Rule #1…. Don’t get caught.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    “be honest” negates that.

    Edukator
    Free Member

    Dating, I vaguely remember that, it was before the world wide web and the Minitel rose was the nearest thing to a dating app. Rules: an explicit “yes” if an offer/request hadn’t already been made by them, a question about contraception and above all, liking them as people.

    desperatebicycle
    Full Member

    So did you see Mrs Browns Boys last week…

    The Christmas Special was very disappointing.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    ..or so I read 😀
    I’m amazed there’s an audience for it tbh

    scruffythefirst
    Free Member

    , a question about contraception

    This is not enough, if you don’t want any more kids have the snip.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    All of these are valid options. You’re not going to be starting a new family at 60, I’d recommend a hamster.

    I know a couple of guys who thought that…..

    tjagain
    Full Member

    from those of later years, I’d add:

    Thanks.  “later years” indeed!

    I want someone to share adventures with!  A shag would not go amiss either 😉   I ain’t ready yet tho and I’m scared of meeting Louise

    tjagain
    Full Member

    This is not enough, if you don’t want any more kids have the snip.

    Or be old enough your dates are post menaupausal

    chakaping
    Full Member

    emsz
    Free Member

    I love it when STW goes dating. My rules

    I suspect you’re not fully serious (?), but that was a pretty sound list anyway IMO.

    My view is rules are made to be broken, so think of them more as guidelines and just follow your instincts.

    Be prepared to learn from mistakes, and steel yourself because it’s gonna be emotionally brutal – however stable and well balanced you feel now.

    If you’re using dating apps, also be prepared to have to put in the hours of chatting and expect a high attrition rate.

    Five matches might = one date.
    Five first dates might = one second date.
    etc. etc.

    Don’t always judge people on textual chemistry either, if it’s great then it’s unlikely to be replicated IRL. If it’s crap, there can still be a spark when you meet.

    Good luck.

    mert
    Free Member

    -No living under the same roof as their ex.

    I had to give her an ultimatum to state where I stood for my own sanity… Fortunately I am glad to say, she kicked him out for good within the week, and 5 and a bit years later I am sat next to her on the sofa typing this right now… But had I not made that ultimatum for my own sanity (and about the only time I would ever do so), I worry that things might have been quite different!

    TBH, i don’t know if you’ve realised, but in the last 5 and a half years the cost of living has risen, significantly.
    Lot’s more people on zero hours contracts. House prices (and rentals) have gone insane in some parts of the country.

    There are a good chunk of perfectly dateable and honest women (and, obviously, men) still living with partners that they simply cannot afford to move away from. Us 40-50-60 year old individuals with professional careers and LTV of less than 50% with a mortgage that we took out 15 years ago are lucky, even though it might not seem like it.
    Cost me a lot of cash (nearly 6 figures) to buy my ex out of the house. The financial hit hurt me, but i still have a good enough LTV to get a good mortgage rate and an affordable mortgage. And a house big enough to have space for me and the kids.
    I’ve been out with several women who still share a roof with an ex since then, it’s *never* been that has been the deal breaker.

    MSP
    Full Member

    Never date a cat owner, they are all batshit mental.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    This is not enough, if you don’t want any more kids have the snip.

    That won’t stop you catching Galloping Knobrot.

    If you’re going to be paddling in strange water, wear your wellies.

    esselgruntfuttock
    Free Member

    Never date a cat owner, they are all batshit mental.

    You got that dead right. My BIL is with one, she’s Harpic. (Clean round the bend)
    Nuts. Weird. & turns out she’s not nice either.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    “later years” indeed!

    I want someone to share adventures with! A shag would not go amiss either 😉

    At your age I thought you’d want to have a lie down whilst someone else had one.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    At your age I thought you’d want to have a lie down whilst someone else had one.

    Bring a younger man and a set of jump leads….

    scruffythefirst
    Free Member

    That won’t stop you catching Galloping Knobrot

    At least you have the choice to get rid of that with a quick visit to the doctor. You may not get much of a choice about the other “condition”.

    footflaps
    Full Member

    At least you have the choice to get rid of that with a quick visit to the doctor.

    They’re not all curable!

    Mister-P
    Free Member

    I’ve been out with several women who still share a roof with an ex since then, it’s *never* been that has been the deal breaker.

    My last girlfriend still shared a house with her husband and all I seemed to hear about was how he didn’t pull his weight around the house. It felt like I was dating him as well as her and it dragged me down to a point I had to walk away. There were options, they could have lived more separate lives, but looking back I don’t think either of them were really over their relationship. I won’t do that again.

    mrdestructo
    Full Member

    1) must not smell (is it asking too much?)
    2) must not talk with a funny voice (unless Jo Guest)
    3) must be mentally sane. (bipolar okay, but trying to run me over, not!)

    mert
    Free Member

    , but looking back I don’t think either of them were really over their relationship.

    Yes, that’s the problem in that scenario, not the sharing a roof.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    ) must be mentally sane. (bipolar okay, but trying to run me over, not!)

    There’s detail I want to hear behind this!

    dudeofdoom
    Full Member

    I’m not ashamed to say her grasp of the English language was a massive turn on.

    Ah yep nothing beats conjugating verbs for foreplay 🙂

    dudeofdoom
    Full Member

    At your age I thought you’d want to have a lie down whilst someone else had one.

    TBH with the ambulance situation may be worth having a nice hot cup of tea instead, unless your dating a medical person.

    lamp
    Free Member

    Piece of cake. Dating can be brutal for the weak and emotionally fragile, but with the right attitude it can also be a right laugh!

    Keep it fun – it’s dating
    Meet loads of different people – you’ll be surprised as to where things can go
    Keep your mind open
    Don’t spend any money on them – you’re dating – not in a relationship
    Make them pay their own way
    Play the field even after a few dates with the same person
    If it goes t1ts up, forget about it, there will always be others
    Never be too keen, assertive and confident – yes – but never chase!

    Enjoy the ride!

    poah
    Free Member

    Don’t have any. The idea of dating someone doesn’t sound fun at all. I’m also married so of no help at all.

    properbikeco
    Free Member

    This is definitely worth keeping going.

    my rules….

    no tattoos
    no weird piercings
    no day of the week hair colour changes
    no “bunny ears” snapchat photos
    no-one of the aforementioned L name
    no-one still married or living with their ex
    no-one with sole hobbies of pubs/festvals/going out

    still single mind so it’s served me well!!!!

    desperatebicycle
    Full Member

    no tattoos

    Rather limits your options these days!

    Try rejecting all those who list “Travel” as one of their interests.. you’d be left with … 0 ! 😀

    Cougar
    Full Member

    If you find someone who breaks all three of your first criteria, chuck ’em this way would you?

    chakaping
    Full Member

    If I followed the “no tattoos” rule I’d have missed out on some exceptional sexytime.

    Do you screen them at the chat stage? I didn’t even find out about most women’s tatts until things had become heated TBH.

    properbikeco
    Free Member

    I should maybe expand on “no tattoos” in that I don’t find a full sleeve particularly attractive…

    chakaping
    Full Member

    Fair enough, I’m ambivalent about tattoos as a hobby/identity, but I’m also intrigued by the association with sexual adventurousness, so…

    jamiemcf
    Full Member

    My criteria

    1. A pulse
    2. Understands and obeys rule no 1.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    My criteria

    1. A pulse
    2. Understands and obeys rule no 1.

    Well, hello handsome!

    BillMC
    Full Member

    And if a bird shits on your car…..

    IGMC

    Oh and a friend of my mrs (honest guv) who does this sort of thing meets them for the first time for a lunchtime coffee, it gives you a reasonable excuse to leg it.

    chakaping
    Full Member

    And if a bird shits on your car…..

    I had a woman make a disparaging comment about my van, does that count?

    jamiemcf
    Full Member

    Well, hello handsome!

    Get your coat, you’ve pulled.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    😎😘

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