Worst Christmas presents?

So we’ve had the best presents, now for the worst.

Not me, but a good friend bought his wife a sat nav. She wasn’t very happy about this and was a bit upset. Still, he thought, I’ve got a banker with the second present…

He also bought her a LadyShave.

She cried. Lots. And they were at her mum & dad’s house at the time too LOL!

Mrs Wombat’s colleague was bought a ride on lawnmower for Christmas a couple of years ago by her husband.

She bought him a pair of Tiffany earrings for his next birthday,

Mrs S once bought me a lampshade.
S’a very nice lampshade, but it came as a bit of a shock at the time.

Was really, really hoping that my wife would take the huge hints I had sprinkled liberally throughout the six months preceding Christmas and buy me the newly released Playstation 2.

Xmas morning………Corby trouser press. Gutted.

Still use it most days though.

A few years ago I got a cheese board, all packaged up in a pretty box. No cheese with it, it was just a 6 inch square bit of wood.

Mrs Wombat’s colleague was bought a ride on lawnmower for Christmas a couple of years ago by her husband.

She bought him a pair of Tiffany earrings for his next birthday,
Wins!

I’m not complaining, but last year I had a spice rack for Christmas, very handy it was too, I use it pretty much everyday – but only because I do all the cooking in my house – it was like “here’s something to help make your work at home better”.

In fairness, it was my own fault, I’m “impossible to buy for” and we were all but broke because my wife was still on maternity leave – but it’s the cooking version of an ironing board isn’t it?

Anyway, sticking to the basics this year, expensive sparkly stuff for her, expensive consumer electronic gadget for me.

My wife thought I’d really, really like a maroon onesie for Christmas last year..no, I really wouldn’t! 👿

Those insincere ones from ppl who never knock on yr door or even pick up the phone all year to ask how yr doing, yet dutifully buy a bargain a few days before Xmas. Receipt of which makes me do a fake smile, so I blame them for that as well.

A onesie from someone you love (reciprocally) is a joyous thing.

Similarly: ‘It’s real soapstone!’ Whatever – if it comes with a real smile it melts my heart.

Once got the missus a onesie as a joke present, you know bit of cheery bantz on christmas morn, all good fun innit?

Except it wasn’t.

A friend of mine bought his wife a new iron and ironing board* and it was made very clear that he was to have christmas dinner at his parents.

*Both of which he takes great pains to point out were needed and are still in use ten years later.

My mum bought me a wooden flapping mobile – I think it was a bird or maybe a pegasus.

a) I can’t stand ornaments
b) You had to hang it from the ceiling, I lived in a rented flat.

He doesn’t really get it, does he?

Rechargeable screwdriver

I lived in a Yurt with no power at the time so neither had screws nor pwoer

Sealed jam jar with my brothers bum wind held within.

From the look on his face I knew it was vintage and shouldn’t be opened. Still have it somewhere.

a black and decker electric tape measure from my mum

I lived in a Yurt

To be fair. I’d struggle to think of something to buy for someone who lived in a yurt.

My sister once bought me a ball of string and a bar of chocolate.
To be fair she was quite young at the time.
Oh and when I first started on my journey in the world of work, my parents bought me an umbrella as they thought that was the sort of thing I would like. It wasn’t.

I have some strange relatives in Norfolk.

One year they gave me a gold coloured knitted woollen tie.

Then next year I got a rusty broken pen knife from them…

23 years ago, my mum bought me this as my only Christmas present:

Once got the missus a onesie as a joke present, you know bit of cheery bantz on christmas morn, all good fun innit?

I always get MrsT something stupid for Christmas. Grow your own Jesus and a walking wind-up nun that spits flames were particular highlights. I’m not telling what this years is, it’s a surprise.

. wrong thread.

One year when I was 17/18 I received a pair of workboots from the Shipyard stores where my stepdad worked 🙁

I can still remember when I was about 10 years of age my dad gave my mum an I.O.U for some new lights in the lounge my dad had just decorated.
Priceless 😯

I once received a trouser press from my mum and dad.

My mum said that everyone should have one. I pointed out that they didn’t.

Gave it away to a colleague.

once received a trouser press from my mum and dad.

My mum said that everyone should have one.

…on the upside, you can make giant toasties.

On the downside, japesters can make dirty waffles.

Bag of nuts last year

Properly annoyed 😀

Maybe this year I’ll get an orange

Also a few years ago, a coffee machine, I haven’t drank coffee for around 10 years

I once got a block of soap with these words stamped in it..

“This soap smells of shit”

I
Kid
U
Not

Father in law is getting on a bit, physically and mentally but always manages to help,out at the local xmas fair on the second hand book stall.

He always waits till clearing up,starts and then grabs the free books that are left at the end.

Last year I the readers digest ( or something similar) guide to DIY. FROM 1974.

Last year I the readers digest ( or something similar) guide to DIY. FROM 1974

That is a good present! I still refer to my Dad’s one 🙂

My Mum gave me this kind of thing for keeping keys in, possibly, nobody could tell exactly what it was, some kind of useless wallet in cheap imitation beige leather. She hadn’t wrapped it either, and it came with a free passport photo of a complete stranger.

Another time she gave me one of those caps with a built in solar fan, which didn’t work at all and one of the blades had snapped off.

I win this one. I have never EVER gotten a present from my parents that didn’t come with a hint of disappointment. Not because I am ungrateful but because I just could never fathom their thinking.

The year I was desperate for a ghetto blaster with tape to tape. I wished and wished for one. Imagine my face as my older brother who didn’t give a hoot about a ghetto blaster opened his brand new ghetto blaster. I don’t remember what I got, I just sat and watched him with his new ghetto blaster.

My 18th Christmas was a rather impressive 20 pack of boxer shorts.

My 21st Christmas was one of them porcelain shell sets for your soap to sit in for the bathroom. I later found out my mum won the set at bingo in Blackpool.

We do lists with my kids and it seems to work very nicely thank you

I bought my missus a fridge for Christmas last year.

You should’ve seen her little face light up when she opened it.

I was once bought a universal remote control.
All of my remotes were fully functional.Pah.

I was once bought a universal remote control.

I thought, this changes everything!

I got an A4 document shredder one year off my parents. I think I was at uni. The sad thing was I already had one. I couldn’t hide my disappointment. I left it when I went away after Christmas and they still use it to this day.

The first Christmas present I opened last year was a penknife- which I then used to cut open all my other presents.

Shame about the puppy…

A friend of mine was asked by his parents what he wanted and being a kind and generous sort of guy who didn’t need anything he asked them for a charity goat. You know the thing where you donate to charity and they buy a goat for an African family.

I’m not sure if they misunderstood, or just didn’t listen properly, but you know what’s coming…

My mate lived in a third floor flat.

Thinking about it I never did find out what happened to the goat. I must ask him next time I see him

Properly LOL!!!!!!