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  • Where are you from , no really from
  • cheekyget
    Free Member

    I used to get asked this alot when I was younger in the 70’s and 80’s….very rarely now.
    I think the last time was from a old lady…..guess why the old bird made such a fuss in the royal Household, mind you I was never badgered about it

    jon1973
    Free Member

    It was a very clumsy question at best.

    kimbers
    Full Member

    Age shouldn’t give you a pass for being a dick and/or racist (in this case both)

    I await the anti woke mob monstering Folani and the charity she works for (especially as it lends credence to Markle’s claims about the royals and she is despised by the racists)

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    Age shouldn’t give you a pass for being a dick and/or racist (in this case both)

    This. Particularly in public life and for an organisation with policies and training on these things.

    IHN
    Full Member

    It was a very clumsy question at best.

    Not really one question…

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-63810468

    Here is the full conversation, as recounted by Ms Fulani:

    Lady SH: Where are you from?

    Me: Sistah Space.

    SH: No, where do you come from?

    Me: We’re based in Hackney.

    SH: No, what part of Africa are you from?

    Me: I don’t know, they didn’t leave any records.

    SH: Well, you must know where you’re from, I spent time in France. Where are you from?

    Me: Here, the UK.

    SH: No, but what nationality are you?

    Me: I am born here and am British.

    SH: No, but where do you really come from, where do your people come from?

    Me: ‘My people’, lady, what is this?

    SH: Oh I can see I am going to have a challenge getting you to say where you’re from. When did you first come here?

    Me: Lady! I am a British national, my parents came here in the 50s when…

    SH: Oh, I knew we’d get there in the end, you’re Caribbean!

    Me: No lady, I am of African heritage, Caribbean descent and British nationality.

    SH: Oh so you’re from…

    binners
    Full Member

    She didn’t commit the cardinal sin though. Hearing someone with a ‘northern’ accent and asking them if they’re from Lancashire when they’re from Yorkshire, or vice versa 😉

    BenjiM
    Full Member

    She didn’t commit the cardinal sin though. Hearing someone with a ‘northern’ accent and asking them if they’re from Lancashire when they’re from Yorkshire, or vice versa

    Christ, that would have been horrific. Imagine the fallout!

    MSP
    Full Member

    I had only seen the headlines, that transcript is far far worse than i had imagined.

    Not just the racism borne from ignorance that I had imagined, but so much arrogance and self entitled snobbish superiority.

    thisisnotaspoon
    Full Member

    She didn’t commit the cardinal sin though. Hearing someone with a ‘northern’ accent and asking them if they’re from Lancashire when they’re from Yorkshire, or vice versa 😉

    The royals* literally had a war over this.

    *before someone else had a war with them over something else, the Scottish had a whipround with the French to do a takeover, marched as far as Derby, decided it wasn’t worth it as anyone who’s stopped at Donnington services can sympathize, we had a republic for a bit, and eventually decided it was all a bit of a face and we’d just be happier as Germans.

    I await the anti woke mob monstering Folani and the charity she works for (especially as it lends credence to Markle’s claims about the royals and she is despised by the racists)

    I imagine the royals themselves are fairly nice as individuals, you’d have to be if your day job is to smile and nod with the public on camera. Equally I imagine anyone who want’s to be hanger on in the “royal household” is entirely possible to be the worst examples of classist, snobbish, Conservatives with a capital C (because why else would you).

    wingnuts
    Full Member

    This really is context.
    My wife is black British born in Nottingham. The first time I introduced them, my Mum (75 at the time living in the most remote part of Devon) asked her the very same question 20 odd years ago. But it wasn’t about heritage, it was about were she lived, how did we meet etc. My wife to be, my 20 year old kids and I all burst out laughing at its inappropriateness and then pointed out how many people used this phrase in a racist way (intentionally or not). Mum was horrified and really got into being careful about phraseology from then on. An unintentional, non-malicious mistake by someone who had little or no experience of different ethnicities is forgivable.
    Someone who has had years of meeting foreign dignitaries, was married to the chairman of the BBC and Times newspaper should know better and not continue to push the point. That is very worrying behaviour at the heart of the most privileged group in the country. You’d think they would know better, have some training/awareness, but no…… sinks into an anti monarchist rant.
    My best friend is black (I’m married to her) so watch your language because even if you are a right on sandal wearing whatever you can get it wrong!
    Just stepped out to say goodbye to Mrs W as she goes off to a meeting and asked her if she would be upset if I said “Some of my best friends are black”? Yep she would so I responded that “my best friend is black” to which she responded “Your best wife is black!!!!!”. I’m just of to check the second best one…..

    mashr
    Full Member

    I had only seen the headlines, that transcript is far far worse than i had imagined.

    yeah, at first I was giving a little leeway thinking that maybe the question (was still assuming one comment at that point) had come from an accent or something, not a bloomin’ Hackney accent! The transcript is horrendous

    Edit: even the way it started was bad, Hussy moved a dreadlock out of the way to see her name badge. Just overstep that personal boundary straight out of the gate

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    She didn’t commit the cardinal sin though. Hearing someone with a ‘northern’ accent and asking them if they’re from Lancashire when they’re from Yorkshire, or vice versa 😉

    The sin being that thats not the North?

    tjagain
    Full Member

    I’ve done similar with colleagues with obviously foreign accents but read the reaction and apologise if they don’t like the question as well as only ask once.  I used it as a way to get to know them a bit and would follow it up with what I knew about the country or when I had been there

    Normally got a good reaction when I knew a little about their country or could tell a story from when I was there

    I wouldn’t do it now and I would never have pushed it like that.

    scotroutes
    Full Member

    It’s possible to have a genuine and innocent interest in someone’s roots

    It’s possible to be “a bit clumsy” in asking.

    That whole dialogue goes way beyond clumsy.

    I wonder if she ever pressed Queen Liz the same way until she got the answer “Germany”.

    ads678
    Full Member

    Normally got a good reaction when I knew a little about their country or could tell a story from when I was there

    The woman in question was from the UK though….

    zippykona
    Full Member

    Whyteleafe via Ethiopia.

    tjagain
    Full Member

    Indeed Ads

    Cougar
    Full Member

    “What business is it of yours?”

    jon1973
    Free Member

    Not really one question…

    Ok fair enough. The whole transcript makes it sound like a Gestapo interrogation.

    IHN
    Full Member

    It’s possible to have a genuine and innocent interest in someone’s roots

    I’ve been thinking about this this morning, as I initially thought the same. But I’ve realised that if I met someone white at a do, I wouldn’t give their ‘roots’ any thought at all (unless, to be fair, I heard them speak with a particular accent or they were wearing a beret, a stripey top and a string if onions around their neck or something). I’ve realised that the reason I might be, what I initially thought innocently, interested in someone non-white’s ‘roots’ is because of just that, they’re not white. I’ve therefore based at least part of my interest and, in some way, opinion, of them on the colour of their skin. And that, I think, is unconscious racism. I think.

    chewkw
    Free Member

    Where are you from , no really from

    North Borneo, fishing village, really. LOL!

    Ancestors from SE Asia and China.

    Behind the Aru tree was my childhood house.
    That Aru tree is several hundreds years old I guess. Sea is on the other side of the road. Plenty of reclaimed land to build houses. The place used to be much much nicer but it’s a “dump” now.

    redthunder
    Free Member

    Some of my ancestors are Norwegian but no one has asked me the question yet 🙁

    So I would live to chat about horned helmets;) , longships… raiding etc.

    But I’m not… only in fantasy and a bit of DNA.

    Where are you from?

    Where your born I suppose…. Bristol, UK. is where your/I from. in my case.

    But if I dressed like a viking, I’d expect questions.

    BruceWee
    Full Member

    If I ever meet a member of the royal family or one of their hangers on I’ll definitely be interrogating them to find out exactly how closely they’re related to their spouse.

    ‘Ah, so you’re his great-aunt and yet you both share the same grandmother. I knew we’d get there in the end…’

    5lab
    Full Member

    finbar
    Free Member

    I’m white but not infrequently get similar questions when people see or hear my surname, which is really unusual even in the region it is from (somewhere round the Poland/Czech Republic/Slovakian border – my dad’s family were peasants so they didn’t keep records either 😀 ).

    I like being asked as it’s quite an interesting story, but I can see how that’s all kind of different to the main example here.

    Poopscoop
    Full Member

    Here’s the charity boss’s aural account of the conversion on the beeb.

    Her accent is, well, British (one of many) so it’s pretty obvious this was a “colour” thing.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-63819482

    tjagain
    Full Member

    Many folk think my name is French.  Its actually cornish

    longdog
    Free Member

    Some of my ancestors are Norwegian but no one has asked me the question yet 🙁

    That’s funny! Because of my surname many people have assumed I have Norwegian or Scandinavian heritage. Passport control in Iceland, my consultant I saw last week and countless others over the years including some Norwegians, but I’ve never seen it as a Norwegian name! I’ve traced my family.on that side back to the 1800s and they’re all Durham or Yorkshire, and then Iowa in USA as the earliest in the late 1700s! I guess the Iowan may have come from Norway. One day I might get one of those gene tests to see!

    weeksy
    Full Member

    I get asked the question often, because whilst i’m from Liverpool, my accent isn’t quite fully Steven Gerrard nowdays, it’s more tame.. but people can tell i’m from near enough Liverpool.

    I’m fine with that..

    I’d arguably be less fine if i was in the transcript situation though.

    molgrips
    Full Member

    People ask me where I’m from all the time at work on calls, without knowing my colour (which is white), they are simply interested. In the past I asked people of colour the same question, out of interest and something to talk about, but I stopped once it was pointed out to me that it is a potentially loaded question that context and could be unwelcome.

    My questioners stop at ‘Cardiff’ assuming they know where that is, and the Susan Hennessey should very obviously have stopped at ‘Hackney’.

    HoratioHufnagel
    Free Member

    How many generations are we supposed to go back to find our correct nationality?
    Aren’t we all from Africa eventually?

    pondo
    Full Member

    I’ve been thinking about this this morning, as I initially thought the same. But I’ve realised that if I met someone white at a do, I wouldn’t give their ‘roots’ any thought at all (unless, to be fair, I heard them speak with a particular accent or they were wearing a beret, a stripey top and a string if onions around their neck or something). I’ve realised that the reason I might be, what I initially thought innocently, interested in someone non-white’s ‘roots’ is because of just that, they’re not white. I’ve therefore based at least part of my interest and, in some way, opinion, of them on the colour of their skin. And that, I think, is unconscious racism. I think.

    That’s really interesting, thanks – was horrified by the transcript yesterday but when chatting about it with Mrs Pondo last night, I couldn’t explain why asking is dubious. Now I can, thank you.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    I wonder if she ever pressed Queen Liz the same way until she got the answer “Germany”.

    Exactly. No-one has ever asked this of me – because I am white and an English accent. (and pertinently, I am Indian by birth and lots of family heritage).

    chewkw
    Free Member

    How many generations are we supposed to go back to find our correct nationality?
    Aren’t we all from Africa eventually?

    Fish like creatures. We were fish. LOL!

    People can ask me anything as I don’t get offended at all.

    One of my colleague used to called me North Korean because he thought I looked like one LOL! But then I found out his grandparents adopted a Welsh surname to blend in in London … LOL!

    Sandwich
    Full Member

    “Your best wife is black!!!!!”.

    You missed a trick there, “What, I’m allowed more than one?”

    PJM1974
    Free Member

    There’s a big difference between asking “where are you from?” once and repeating the same question and disregarding the given answers more than nine times in a row. That’s hideous.

    I’m sure that it’s a coincidence that the same aide has been the source of many disparaging comments about a mixed-race member of the Royal family too.

    nickc
    Full Member

    I did think it was one of those non stories that seem to grow out of nowhere occasionally, but having read that transcript, if that’s only half true it’s cringingly bad. These people are supposed to be our betters somehow?

    idiots

    Poopscoop
    Full Member

    @PJM1974

    I’m sure that it’s a coincidence that the same aide has been the source of many disparaging comments about a mixed-race member of the Royal family too.

    I didn’t know that, is it rumoured or actually documented?

    boondock
    Full Member

    Good advice for life in general is to never read the comments section on the Daily Mail website, but the comments for this story show how far we still have to come for acceptance of anyone that isn’t a blue shade of white.
    I won’t (and probably can’t) link to it, go and find it for yourselves to be saddened and angered – actually don’t because you can probably already guess what it says.

    scruff9252
    Full Member

    Many folk think my name is French.  Its actually cornish

    I would have thought you’d get more questions why your mum called you Tandem than about your surname Jeremy.

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