When do you stop supporting your kids?

Deposits to buy houses that sort of thing. However it is a commercial transaction and I am expected to sign a contract and pay money back with interest

You wouldn’t get a mortgage these days if you declared that. We have to have a letter signed from my parents stating the money provided for a deposit is a gift and does not need to be paid back.

I never expected to be given a deposit, but my mum is desperate for me to buy a house so who am I to argue? 🙂

Well to be honest I reckon that as long as I could afford it, and they didn’t take the piss, I wouldn’t charge my kids for living in the family home even if it was permanent. I’d expect them to do the odd shopping trip etc but other than that I’d feel like a right penny pincher asking my kids for money.

This is pretty much what I’d do, I’d pick up bits and bobs from the shops, drive my mum to work, do the cooking etc. so it didn’t cost my parents anything extra to have me living at home. There’s a difference between that and profiting from having your kids living at home imo.

I’m with wwaswas on this one. When I left home and set up in my first flat with my wife to be I became my own man in charge of my own finances. That was 18 years ago, I get a bit peed with my parents when they spend too much for my birthday.

If something big happened then I would hope that I could turn to them for some help but I would expect to pay them back.

I do have a 27 year old brother however who is still in nappies and requires bitty off mum.

I have a friend with two adult children, both in their twenties. Both of them live at home full-time, together with their respective partners. All four contribute nothing. 😯

I have a friend with two adult children, both in their twenties. Both of them live at home full-time, together with their respective partners. All four contribute nothing.

Maybe theyre trying to save for a deposit? Its so hard to save for a deposit whilst renting somewhere now a days. Maybe if the parents cant help them with the deposit they might let them live at home rent free to save up some money to move out?

Although if they are comntributing NOTHING like shopping, cooking, cleaning etc then probably is a bit off.

Well mine supported me up to a through Uni, matching the maximum grant you could get from the local concil. After that though I have been on my own and would never think of going begging to my parents.

had an agreement with the parents that long as i didnt move out for uni i wouldnt pay rent. two way street i suspect – cheaper uni for me , and them able to keep an eye on me……

moved out 2 years ago and been self sufficient since.

currently saving for a house , so many of my friends have gone back to the bank of mum and dad to get deposits, although my dads main line of work is property im still not going there………

i certainly wouldnt be going asking them for cash for holidays/cars – EVER – i didnt even do that when i was a kid !(im only 25 now)

IMO if people are still regularly begging in their 30’s then they need to get a grip and stop being selfish. It doesn’t sound like they will be able to help their own kids out in the future.

‘We borrow the land from our children we don’t inherit it from our parents’ is a phrase I believe in but the children shouldn’t take the piss.

wwaswas + 1

We’ve brought them up to know that once they leave school/uni they need to fend for themselves.
I hated borrowing anything from my parents (but that might say more about our relationship than anything else).
I see too many people (even in their 40’s) who still live life with their parents as a safety net.

whatever I have and whatever i can give they can have till I die [ then they get it and decide what to do anyway]as long as it is a good reason. IME relatively well off parents like helping their kids as they dont need the money and they can see their kids do. if it is not funding their kids to be lazy or dependent what is the issue?

hmm, my dad shares Junkyard’s view –

as a result I rely completely on my parents financially. I am at uni and have had jobs at different times, but I have seen them more as a valuable and necessary learning experience rather than a way to make money.
What I earn in an entire Summer my dad can earn in a few days. He would much rather me use the time to travel, to learn things, to be healthy, etc. – he will support me as long as I’m doing something ‘worthy’ (an attitude which has led to some problems: I do have a bit of a hang-up about using time wisely). He will often offer things (computers, equipment) that I usually don’t need and so kindly refuse.

My situation probably does make me spoiled in some ways – I don’t know anything of financial hardship. But I’m not demanding material goods off anyone; I really hope I’m not taking advantage, and I think my parents would say so if they ever felt like that.

I could refuse all help from my parents it’s true, but as at the moment I am a student, I really don’t see what it would achieve, other than getting me into debt.. (Obviously when I am bringing in a wage I don’t expect to mooch off my parents then!)

Up to the parents to offer and the kids not to ask

Junkyard + 1

I don’t see many things to be gained from enforced poverty or indebtedness.

We have been saving to put our 3 through Uni, give them the same start we got when it was free. That now seems unlikely without a massive windfall. Haven’t found a solution to that one yet. A couple of years post uni to get established seems normal to me, then crises only. I lived with my parents for a while after college, paying rent and borrowing mums car. I had part time jobs from paper round onwards, just seems right that way.