What's the worst book you've ever read, or tried to read?

I once tried to read "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Utterly unreadable – literally gibberish.

I can only think that a lot of people read it, think "Oooh, convoluted language. This bloke must be REALLY CLEVER".

The Bourne Ultimatum – it's almost unreadable.

The DaVinci Code.

Utter, utter tripe.

A toss up between Ulysses and a Brief History of Time

Probably cos I'm not bright enough innit?

Glamorama, Brett Easton Ellis, The Blackest Bird by Joel Rose, Blood & Guts in Highschool by Kathy Acker.

Joel Rose's first 2 books were fast chaotic thrillers, The Blackest Bird was so dull. I gave up on it last week.

+ someone gave me Perfume, Patrick Suskin – simply crap.

Everyone now and then I try to read Ulysses – supposed to be one of the greatest novels ever but it is hard work.

DaVinci code is pretty bad, though still readable. I've started reading some truly terrible sci fi before but I can't remember any of the names.

+1 for Ulysses – the wife has had a go at it as well, went to stay with some friends recently and she 'accidently' left it there (she is very dogmatic about finishing books she started), but they posted it back….. 😉

I feel a Ulysses-burning session coming on…. 😉

The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant – Unbeliever' or something like that anyway.
Yrs ago i had a thing about epic fantasy novels & a work mate lent this trilogy to me.

Appalling. I waded through three books & the only actual movement in the plot happened about 40 pages from the edn of the third book.

I would happily dig out the authors eyes with blunt spoons & pour acid into the sockets…..

Anything by Ludlum. Or the bible.

I once started Thatcha's biography. Actually hurled it in the bin before the end of the first chapter. I'd imagine Blairs would have the same effect, so I'm saving myself the trouble

The Quran, or is that too inflammatory?

The Magus by John Fowles. Gibberish, pure gibberish. The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart was equally appalling.

If I was on a long train journey and had NOTHING to do apart from read these books, I'd still put them in the bin.

i only really try to read books i think ill like – lilwalls cycling home from syberia i just couldnt get into – its not the trip its not the content just the way its told does my head in ! ive managed 4 chapters before moving onto another book , ill give it a go again after ive finished rosie swale popes "just a little run round the world" which im enjoying lots

Black Spring – Henry Miller

Something Happened – Joseph Heller

Pratchett (dunno which one – only book I never made it past about page 4!)
or
LOTR (never got more than half way – blimey it doesn't half go on a bit!)

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby. Vom-inducing chick lit.

naked lunch – burroughs

"The games People Play" by Eric Byrne (sp?)

Even the simplified explanation of each chapter was too much for me 🙁

White Teeth by Zadie Smith. Shite.

Seconded "The Dice man" bored me silly.

Also, "The Catcher in the Rye" I did read it all the way through, but I thought it was pants.

Religious books aren't great either, the Bible and Koran I've both tried to read, but couldn't get past the first few pages.

Catch 22, was pap as well.

I went through a Martin Amis phase when I was younger and read all his stuff. I recently found Other People in a charidee shop for 50p, I coukdn't get past the first 2 chapters. Just bollocks, but i enjoyed it when I was younger. Don't have the attention span now.

edit: catcher in the rye – what's the big deal about that? boring.
double edit – The dice man also had no effect on me.

White Teeth by Zadie Smith. Shite.

I really liked that. "Chief" is such a funny insult.

Moby Dick. Years ago but one of the few books I've failed to read. Maybe I should have a go again.

Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance.

Awful.

I was about to type Moby Dick.

First time I read Great Expectations I thought it was a waste of paper. Eight years later it was brilliant.

Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance.

I just read that while away on a trip and thought it was rather good.
I also (half) read Scarecrow by Matthew Reilly. So bad I couldn't finish it.

+1 for Glamorama, just terrible

I've read heaps of crap – much of which is mentioned here and I'll usually force myself to finish it.

But far and away the worst is Ulysses which is just a huge ****. I have never finished it.

BTW The Diceman is more fun if you read it with a set of dies – to enhance your decision to turn the next page. 🙂

The Algebraist- Iain M Banks, dull, boring sleep inducing tripe. Bit of a surprise that it comes from the same hand as The Wasp Factory…

Nowhere near enough humour in "A brief history of time"

+1 for Ulysses.
Didn't think much of Will Self's Book of Dave either.

pretty much every book written by ian mcewan.

Possibly the book that I disliked the most was "The Longest Crawl". Can't remember the author and can't be bothered to go find it. The author just comes across as a total knob. Seems to feel that writing about drunk driving and illegal drug use shows him to be some sort of renaissance man/rebel. Just struck me as a git. Took me three goes to get in to it and finishing it was really a chore.

"The Beautiful Machine" by Graeme Fife. Not a bad book but again he comes over as another git.

Fiction books – Whit by Iain Banks – just can't get started in to it. Don't know if it's good or bad. I just can't read it.

I think it was called, snow falling on cedars, bored me to tears.

Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie – gobbledegook that gets increasingly desperate for a plot.

The Periodic Table, Primo Levi – Self-indulgent twaddle.

Yellow Dog, Martin Amis – Pointless, pretentious rubbish.

There are lots more!

The Blackest Bird by Joel Rose

I liked that!

Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie – gobbledegook that gets increasingly desperate for a plot.

Gave up on this one about a third of the way in. I've read a few of his before and really enjoyed them (The Moor's Last Sigh was really good) but maybe this was one Rushdie too many- just couldn't be bothered with it and found his style really irritating.

Probably the worst book I've ever read was given to me as a sample by the author, a chap who'd written a book and published it himself basically just because he'd always wanted to be a published author. IIRC it was about the resistance after an invasion of Nazi aliens, and it was every bit as bad as you might imagine. Fair play to him though.

Not many i've started and not finished but iliad was mind numbing and one will self book I tried, can't remember which one but after reaching for the dictionary one too many times I scrapped it.

how the hell did catch 22 make it onto this list? overated possibly but still decent I thought. I also read a lot of pratchett but understand how many wouldn't like it, the later stuff is a lot less fantasy with a more mature story.
(yep I'm definitley a low brow reader)

catcher in the rye.

the gulf between the hype surrounding it, and the actual whiney content is huge.

no wonder J D salinger went into hiding, sheer embarrassment…